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Father died of emphysema last night


Kate18
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58 minutes ago, Kate18 said:

I have a challenge with impulse control and procrastination that have impacted my life in general.

That is the perfect description of what an addict is and that is what we all are.  We all had those same issues in coming to terms with quitting smoking. 

I see you have made yourself a ticker and I am hoping you are finally joining us in your quit.  We are here to guide you through this journey. 

Kate,  the first couple of weeks are difficult but you can do it.  Once you have gotten the nicotine out of your system, you just redirect your smoking thoughts.  

Keep your dad at the forefront of your thoughts.  Through him you have seen the results of this addiction.  

Read as much as you can on this site and watch the videos.  Read the emotions of others who have committed to quitting.

Be sure and make your NOPE pledge everyday.  It may seem silly but it works.

Sweetie, you can do this!

 

 

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On 11/23/2018 at 10:44 PM, Cristóbal said:

 

↑↑↑↑↑

 

I agree 100%.

I am sorry to learn you have lost your father Kate, that is a horrible loss.

At the same time, you may want to ask yourself, Is there a valid reason why you must wait to start your quit ????

 

Cristóbal

I want no more lapses, Cristobal.   From waking up until going to bed I experience a mental conflict between the rational knowing that, "I must quit now," and the addicted-emotionally driven impulse/desire to smoke.

 

Sociological studies demonstrate that emotion will override rational thinking unless a person has good impulse control skills, whether it's about eating doughnuts, drinking to excess, texting while driving, gambling, anger outbursts, meth use, or smoking.

 

I've been trying to force a turn-around moment where I feel (not just think, but feel) that smoking is terrible and I'll never want another one. I have watched most of Joel's videos and Allen Carr's, watched videos about diseases, documentaries about people dying from smoking, have poured through websites and read about harm smoking causes, and engaged socially at the quit smoking forum that dissolved.  I've clocked hundreds of hours trying to force myself to desire to quit.

 

There is a region of the brain that is supposed to be developed in humans by the time we're in our early twenties.  I'm sure we've all heard about the prefrontal cortex.  I've had problems with other impulses (maybe partly a problem of being bipolar) throughout my life. By working on the skill of impulse control in general, I am hopeful that I can quit smoking.

 

I don't know what else to do.

 

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1 hour ago, Linda Thomas said:

That is the perfect description of what an addict is and that is what we all are.  We all had those same issues in coming to terms with quitting smoking. 

I see you have made yourself a ticker and I am hoping you are finally joining us in your quit. 

 

 

Thank you, Linda. I appreciate your supportive words.

I just took down the ticker. I haven't smoked, but I felt panicked when I looked at it. I marked on my calendar the date and time I stopped. When I feel more confident I'll put it back.

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@Kate18, you can quit even if you still desire to smoke. I did. I had to! I equated it to the desires I've had throughout my life, like I still want to ride dirt bikes, but know I can't anymore. I still want to jump over people on a pogo stick but know I can't anymore. I looked at it like things that I outgrew and smoking was one of them. I still have days i would like to smoke but know I can't anymore..... 

As long as you're ready to quit, you can quit.... I did

 

 

Edited by jillar
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Hi Kate and welcome to your forever quit!

 

I hope you can put some of the things you have learned from looking into the impulse control issue to use with this quit. You will have a lot of people here to support you as you move forward so please use this forum as much as you need to. Of course we also have an SOS page that has been very effective for many should you ever need it. There is even a thread on that page called Pre-respond To Your Own SOS. There you can write a meaningful message to yourself about why you should never give in again and you can always go there in an instant to read it should you be having a weak moment. It's a great resource.

 

It sounds like you really want this quit and you are prepared for it as much as any of us can be so jump right in, pledge NOPE every day and lean on us here for support because that's what we are here for :) 

 

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Congratulations on quitting smoking Kate.

The voice of the addict is a complete LIE.

There is NOTHING, physiological or psychological, that forces us to continue an addiction.

There is NOTHING preventing an addict from cleaning up.

You always have choice.  Always.

Please choose LIFE.

Commit to yourself, your quit and NOPE.

That is IT.

NOPE-ly yours,

S

 

You might have some things to add on this thread

Red Flags

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1 hour ago, Kate18 said:

I just took down the ticker. I haven't smoked, but I felt panicked when I looked at it. I marked on my calendar the date and time I stopped. When I feel more confident I'll put it back.

Kate, when you feel that panic, close your eyes and breath deep.  Feel how good that breath feels without the smoke attached. Think how smoking really does nothing for you.

You can do this!   

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Today was a day off from working, so I have been reading the book by Baumeister and Tierney, "Willpower." They report the many studies of the effects of blood glucose on decision-making ability. I am about 95 % through transitioning to a plant-based diet, influenced by a book entitled "The Engine 2 Diet." My blood labs and blood pressure have me in early heart attack and stroke territory, so I'm make what seems to be the best change in diet. 

 

When I was hungry, I reached for a cigarette. From now on, when I'm wanting to smoke, I'll ask myself if I am just hungry. If I have a piece of fruit for quick glucose, followed by beans and rice or soup pre-made.  If these guys are right, then my ability to resist a craving will be stronger.

 

I've been afraid of weight gain and used smoking to curb my appetite. I just went on Amazon and ordered three size 12 jeans (I'm usually a 10). I'm preparing for the likely weight gain that can result with quitting smoking when food becomes a substitution.  I hate doing this. I worked so hard to get from 220 down to 145. I've stayed in a normal weight range for 10 years. Quitting smoking is more important, and if it means temporary weight gain, then I'll accept that. 

 

According to this book, keeping a steady blood glucose level greatly enhances decision-making ability and makes a person more successful at beating addiction. Since all the gross pictures, sad stories, daily pledges to stay quit, and info on Joel's site (and other sites) didn't cause a strong enough desire to stay quit, then I'll try something else. I'll approach addiction from a biological/neurological standpoint. I don't feel like such a loser when I read the studies of what the authors call willpower depletion in their subjects. 

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45 minutes ago, Kate18 said:

Quitting smoking is more important, and if it means temporary weight gain, then I'll accept that. 

I also was afraid of the weight gain from quitting smoking.  I have gained a few pounds but I am finally free of my awful addiction.  I know that if I had the will power to quit, I have the will power to lose those extra pounds.  Sounds to me like you are a little stronger than you think  if you could lose that much weight and maintain it.  

Believe me Kate, those pounds you gain are nothing compared to the life you gain.  

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Quitting smoking is a journey .....some gain weight some don't .....

Once you have a good solid quit going ...you will find its then you worry about the few pounds you have gained ,and then start to watch your diet....

Its hard to do the two together....quitting the cancer sticks is your first priority.... They are killing you ...a few extra pounds are not the killer....

Be kind to yourself......don't over think...

 

 

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After many failed attempts, I quit successfully over 3 years ago by pledging NOPE (just for today) every day until I could just say "not one puff ever". The difference was being educated about all the lies of addiction that could possibly draw me back into smoking and having a response to each one, understanding that my mind was being hijacked by some kind of drug lords. I personally think will power is over rated. For me, it was about education and taking it one day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Do anything except smoke.

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Will power or determination IS required but I agree that education about the addiction is probably the most important thing in terms of not only quitting but also protecting your quit because until you truly believe that smoking offers you nothing positive, you are at risk so .... educate yourselves on this addiction. It really matters!

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So sorry for your loss, Kate.

Something i read or heard somewhere that i found reassuring at the start of my quit was "nothing bad will happen if you don't smoke",  i suppose it's linked to the anxiety of stopping smoking, similar to what you said about your ticker making you panicky. And i think it's true that smoking causes anxiety too.

I really hope you stick with your quit and stay here for support as it is a great place:)

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Sorry to hear about your father, Kate. 

I know what it’s like to lose a parent to smoking related diseases. I lost my mom a couple of years ago. She smoked most of her life.

 

Others are right. The time is now. Just do it and move on with your life.

It’s not that difficult once you get past the first week or so. Then it’s all in your mind. You do indeed have control of your thoughts.

 

Cigarettes do nothing for you. They take away your time, your money and your health.

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