Kris

@AceWhite Good to see you. You have not posted and was concerned. You are such an upl..ifting person here! I always get worried when we don't here from are regulars.

@KEL I am sorry if my post caused you distress. I am not skirting any issue, I am just posting how I feel. If you don't take me as a serious person then don't read my post. I do not know you, or you me. We have only communicated through the board. This place is a gift, a blessing for people all over the world. A place full of wonderful kind people that have helped me quit smoking. There is nothing special about me. I do not have any education, training, background or history. All I can do is be honest and open with my struggles. All I can do is take a day at a time, each crave, each breakdown, each good cry that will get me to my goal. All I can do is accept people, their journeys.

Wow, that went fast! Here you are a month quit. You may have thought you would not make it. The struggle was too hard. It is a big deal, for people that have never smoked, they don't get the hard work and commitment. Finding this board saved me, gave me the tools and encouragement to keep going. Keep going, we can have a sucess party every day, every month and every year. That is your future!!

I remember being happy after 10 hours, you are not happy, you are over the moon!

I am glad to hear you are working your way thru it. Don't feel bad if you need to use a lozenge to take the edge off. They worked for me. If you get in a bad crave, just come here, we will try to help you get thru it.

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@Linda,@KELNo need to worry, if I need help, I will get it. I appreciate your concern. We all struggle with things from time to time. Sorry the "word vomit happened". I am really okay, my quit is safe, the house it still standing and my children (dogs) are still making me laugh.

I hear what you are saying but I have to get honest. Yes, I am having a bad night. I am not going to smoke. I do wonder why I am working so hard to do this. I have accepted the fact that smoking is causing serious health problems. I want to b here to see my grand children grow up. On the other hand, it seems like the only time I hear from my son, it is to babysit my grandson, I love having him here, but seems they do not have time to spend with me when they pick him up. I get it I was young once, working full time and taking care of my home. I know they are going non stop. I do not call them or ask for anything if not needed. Now, that I am older I can't do what I used to. My son has been very good at coming over to take care of the yard and other things around the house. There is just no time for them to stay for dinner, go out to dinner. watch a movie, play a board game, watch a sports event. My son also lost his father in law last year so now he has me and his mother in law to look after. She is a little more well off, and can hire extra help, I can't. I made sure everything was done by Saturday. Sunday was family time and almost all of those were spent at my in-laws, which I did not mind. I loved them and the fact that they loved me. It is just that everyone for the most part is gone, my husband, his parents, my mom and my best friend have passed. I miss them, I do not see death as a bad thing, I only worry about how I am going to get there. There are days when I think I should just continue to smoke and enjoy the time I have left. I know it makes no sense, I just know I am not happy in general. Does anyone else have these feelings? Does anyone else think they should bow out gracefully with a little help?

-12 if I get this wrong just shoot me. please!

Just a story, when my son was born, by c section, I was in a lot of pain. My husband had the so called gift of changing his poopy diaper when we got home. I could hear him in the baby's room gasping and gagging. He got the job done. My sister had also given birth to a son 5 weeks earlier. When she had to go back to work, I watched my nephew, so we had double the poopy diapers. My husband was home and I needed help with the babies. He came around the corner with .lysol spray, air freshner in his pants and a clothes pin on his nose. It is one of my most special memories. Of course, he was just funning me, he knew I was exhausted from taking care if 2 babies with breastfeeding our son. Like they say humor can be the best medicine.

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Yep!, It is hard for me to give up smoking and I am not willing to give up anything else right now. The smoking is the main thing that I have to quit to safeguard my health. I am not going to worry about weight right now. I will deal with that when the time comes. The only thing I can suggest it to find other things to satisfy your ice cream craving. Summer is coming, maybe ice cold watermelon or cantaloupe. Berries mixed in low fat cool whip. Frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and rolled in nuts. Maybe some of those might help.

@Kdad It will get better, the longer you go. Is it hard, yes, you are going to crave, be angry, sad, exhausted and try to find a reason to smoke again. I did all those things. I still do all those things sometimes but the one thing I do not do is smoke. This is all about you, you have to be the one who wants to quit, the one to struggle through the bad crap. You get to be the one that is determined, driven, strong, courageous. You get to be the one that is going to feel better, not have health issues. Your family gets to have a healthy leader, the one that wants to be there for all the important stuff. You get to be the one who saves all that money, puts it somewhere and then take your family on a wonderful vacation on your 1 year anniversary. You get to make memories that will last a lifetime. First thing you have to do is insure you will have a long wonderful life is to quit smoking.. You can do this!!

Gonna bump this one up as soon to be Jackson will arrive and Sugar Britches will not have a bump in her belly because he is here. @Boo will be busy helping to get things ready for the boy, taking care of Maddie, letting Sugar Britches rest for the big event. I think he has everything down but will be surprised when Jackson pees in his face when he forgets to duck and cover changing his diapers. That is one of the things he can't escape with the boy, nor would he want to. It is a milestone for every Dad, it is the first time his son will tell his Dad to piss off (literally). I know he can't wait! Just remember to let Mom take her time until it is time.

@KEL, don't know if it is happening, but sure makes feel better about the whole thing. Just goes to show if we keep going we will be suddenly surprised by something small. If you save up enough small things, you are suddenly rich in ways you never expected..

-13 check me I think we got off count LOL,

Thanks for the bump! I will admit I had a hard day and I don't know why. We are expecting our last bit of winter here next few days. I love the cold temps. In prep, I went to the grocery for a few things to enjoy the last few cozy days(as I call them). For some reason, coming home, in anticipation of this, I pulled my purse close, digging for a smoke as my usual response to the upcoming joy. Guess what, there was nothing there but a tin of altoids. At first I was shocked and then I was grateful. There was no desire to stop and get cigarettes. How did that happen? I got home, brought in the groceries, let the dogs out and sat on the couch with the door open letting the cold breeze blow in across my face. It was wonderful!

That just breaks my heart. Maybe not a puppy, I don't think I can do puppy again but I will look for older small house trained dogs in rescues that need a home. I just can't imagine a life without a dog. I think you have a kitty, I would love one but am allergic. A pet just completes a cozy home.

@Linda, If it get's that bad you need to reach out for extra support. We are all here and care about you. Sometimes you just need to be reassured that it will be okay. I am here always. You are special do not let anything side line you!

@jillar your comment tells me that Cookie, is coming in your dreams "It's okay Momma, it is time to have a new puppy to love"!

I am glad to hear you have done something that makes you so happy. I hate the thought of buying a new car. I would rather have a root canal on all my teeth than deal with that purchase. Lucky or unlucky, I hope I won't have to do that again. I drive a 14 year old car that only has 40M miles. I do regular up keep, oil changes, battery, belts and tires. Just being so low in miles does not keep it from having things dry out and become a problem, kind of like me LOL. Sorry it has been a bad month for you. That explains why I have been missing your positive uplifting messages that keep a lot of us going on the bad days. I hope you are feeling better, we have missed you!!

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Grin, smile, have a laugh till you cry moment. Don't you just love yourself today! Such joy and happiness that you have done this! Celebrate your achievement on what is a very difficult journey!!

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