darcy

5

NOPE

Reciprocity, Hurray for your life of freedom.

Have been busy busy getting ready for returning to work. I was off due to a family event in early December. Today, I am having more desire to smoke than I have since I quit. Likely due to the Saturday morning cleaning routine. I used to have between tasks smoke breaks. I am only half way through the cleaning (after being up 4 hours! - usually done in around 2 hours) and melting down. Took a QT break and here I am. Don't seem to be finding relief yet, nor are my floors getting any nearer to being livable...LOL. Preserving my quit is my priority for awhile and I am gifted (?) with many opportunities to do what I need to in any moment to stay smoke free. Still concerned about being out in regular event life and handling being frustrated. Jillar, thanks for the S.O.S. reminder. Need to figure out how to get on QT from my phone. I am wondering how more people aren't aware or interested in the support offered here for quitting. Surprised that more folks haven't been here since the start of the year. Hoping the nicotine addicted find their ways to BEing FREE sooner than later. Thanks to all the QT people for all you offer, for showing up and for sharing the information, humor and many many many ways to BE FREE.

Yay Angeleek! Happy dancing for you! Freedom from nicotine is a huge accomplishment and gift. Rock on.

NOPE

Rolling along the tracks.... Preparing to return to work next week. Lots to sort through and put away in the house, as I've just let things fester so as not to derail my limited ability to handle frustration in this last week. Yesterday was the day of the most "cigarette time" thoughts and urges (as it was the most like a normal routine day) I've had since regaining my FREEDOM. Only nearly melted down once or twice, the rest of the times I just reminded myself aloud that I don't smoke and moved on with whatever I was doing. Grateful to be able to keep doing things and not feel like stopping, sleeping or crying was the kindest option for myself in the moment. Was super grateful to swim a mile yesterday. My body was happy. Going again today. Be kind to those who seem difficult...maybe they are fighting themselves most of all.

Still grateful for the many who've found their quit and keep sharing. Glad DenaliBlues tunes out the trash truck, and overcome has a single mint to do something, and Jiller had a tub of mints in the early days, and Intoxicated Yoda found a connection with salt and eliminating coffee and junk food, so much healing and FREEDOM. Glad I am finding my way, too.

Kdad, 8 months is a huge bit of Freedom. Glad you're quit. What're the top 2 things you're enjoying now that were different as a slave to nicotine?

NOPE

NOPE

The train ride is smooth sailing today. Remembered to do a stretch, chi gong, movement activity this morning with a TV person I like. Grateful to have had movement to begin my day. Venturing out today. Swim gear in tow. Husband going along, too. Carried a small bench up the three flights of stairs in my home today. Panting and heaving at top floor. Yay! for freedom. Looking forward to doing the stairs with ease of breath. Gus, thanks for the kitty animation....it made me laugh aloud and smile genuinely. Thanks for the folks who ride the train and support each other. It is comforting to have people who have walked similar paths and found their way....yet all different paths and journeys, too. Any way, not alone.

NOPE

Always a great tool. Just need to remember to open the tool box when needing one.

Still on board. Got up this morning and did normal morning things without dithering about. Progress, very grateful. Been really avoiding ANYTHING that might allow me to throw my quit away in a snit of uncomfortable emotions. Will eventually NEED to leave the house. Swimming is what keeps me sane, and I still don't trust myself to leave home, so I am NOT doing the thing that really helps me mentally. The merry go round mind is troublesome and my lack of faith in my ability to remain quit. I keep telling myself things like.... if make it to my birthday at least I'll have been free for that milestone, or If I get 5 or 6 years out of this quit, it'll be good. I want to believe this quit will stick. Not sure how to just believe that. What I do know is that this minute , day and yesterday were smoke free. I know I DO WANT to be smoke free. I do know I have commit to nope before and then been unwilling/unable to uphold that promise. thanks for being here everyone.

N O P E

Here I am. Not sure how I'm doing. Most of the time I am okay and easily get through the crave or "habituated smoke time" event. I seem to be noticing that the really difficult times are when I am in some kind of upheaval or tired. Been grateful to be able to just stop and do nothing. Feeling very much toddler developmental level with words and negotiating, communicating abilities. Perhaps that's really my developmental state anyway and I am just noticing now. Really appreciative of those who are riding with me and posting....and those who may be reading.

nope

here

Hello Folks, Plugging along today. DenaliBlues, I made three lists before I decided to quit (one for each level of my house). The one I can see from here says.... Choose: brush teeth write love on someone shower call someone watch TV breathe QT read list "why" pet cat hydrate sit yoga The two on other floors are similar with some repeats, but with items easy to do on that level of the house. That said....what's working well today is my air cigarette. Many thanks, Jillar. Really appreciate having you folks to bounce around with. Too brittle to really look at what my reservations may be. Commitment is not my long suit...but FREEDOM is.

Many green pinned items read and reread. Will read and reread more.

nope

Thanks for your continued encouragement. Massive headache due to smoking, ...duh. Going to bed. may be there until spring. Changed my quit date in the system and tried to put a ticker on my page....shows up in the profile , not in posts. destroyed the pack......little comfort. water and bed and crap TV for me. glad my husband and cats are supportive. Wasn't terribly successful at water aerobics class.....couldn't coordinate my movements to the excercises. Lol Glad I wasn't doing laps and trying to coordinate breathing....more laughing and crying. Thanks for hanging with me. READ GREEN TAGGED items on board per Doreen. Thanks Doreen. Dear Intoxicated Yoda, If I free my ass, will my mind follow?

Threw it away..... Struggling to want to start again. struggling to smoke. struggling in all manners. hoping i'll sit back down. very little faith I will. going to swim and do life things, since I'm smoking anyway and stuck in the hate/hate relationship, I may as well do stuff that makes life go...... yes, I hear how ridiculous that sounds. I will continue to hang around the board and post....a tenuous thread to hope and beliefs that support the LIFE i want. Hold your quits close and cherish your ability, desire and courage. May you LIVE FREE.

Thank you for your support and belief in my abilities. I have all but caved in at this juncture. Yes, I realize it is a commitment to slavery....odd since I can not (unwilling, unable to ?) commit to living the life I desire. Why is it so easy to feed the self loathing and fear? Yes, there is no demon....just me...still hating myself and stuck in the loop. I truly find this forum one of the best possible resources for people who are able to risk and quit and LIVE a FREE life. Thank all of you for being here and reaching out to people.