Everything posted by MLMR
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Who's on the train...
Quitdate: 22nd of august, 2018. Next week I'll be hiring a trumpet orchestra to bring news of MLMR's Six Months Victory! I had multiple reasons to quit. I want to get rid of anxiety and depression, or at least establish a new understanding with them. I want to run stairs without the feeling of no oxygen. I want to feel my age (35). I want to be happier! And about a 100 reasons more. Ive been rewarded so far with a much calmer mind. It's not always easy going yet, but steady and determined nonetheless and it seems Im scaring Mr. Black Dog Depression away with that determination. My advice would be to push yourself from the early days on to conciously look at the beauty of your quit. Scream and be annoyed when you have to, but purposely return to that point where you can connect with your decision to quit and register how far youve come, whether it's about hours, days or months. Time will ALWAYS pass and it will get easier.
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Thursday 14th febuary 2019
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Wednesday 13th febuary 2019
- Tuesday 12 febuary 2019
- Opah is 1 Month Smoke Free!
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Monday 11 th febuary 2019
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Rozuki is 2 years Smoke Free!
Hey Roz, congrats on 2 years!!!
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Sunday 10 th febuary 2019
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Newborn Quitter
Ah, so you DID miss my point. Ok, end of discussion as far as I'm concerned.
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Newborn Quitter
@Lilly, so you think there's plenty of solid, trustworthy, sensible information available, to aid people in their quits? Since thát was my point and you say you don't agree with it. @reciprocity, I am starting to get it yes, somehow the past few weeks have been speeding the proces up. Not only am I able to say 'nope' when life does strange and sometimes unexpected things, noping my way through makes everything better, or less sucky if you will. The craves and thoughts about smoking are NOTHING compared to the misery I'd definitely have about smoking through these same unexpected things. The stink, the shame, even keeping a distance from people because I was afraid I smelled. Imagine that, deliberately staying away. That is just sad. @Sazerac and @notsmokinjo, jep!
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Newborn Quitter
Risking to come across as a raging Newborn Quitter... but heck, what an amazing load of bs goes around about quitting! 'It takes multiple tries to quit and that's ok!, 'Nicotine calms you down!' (Yes!! When you inhale that shit, AFTER you once started! It's like... an addiction duhhh!! Otherwise it does nothing for you!). You were born without it, ffs. This sentence, quote website NiQuitin -> 'Als je een regelmatige roker bent, is de kans groot dat het missen van je regelmatige shot nicotine leidt tot een sterk verlangen naar een sigaret.' Translates to, 'if you are regular smoker, there's a good chance that missing out on your regular shot of nicotine leads to a strong desire for a cigaret'. Wait, what..? Isn't that the whole fckn point? Seriously, who do they think they are adressing, toddlers? This is what makes it an addiction! Besides, 'a good chance..' implicates there's room for doubt, for dreaming about being able to control the yearning. I did that for years and it made me totally hopeless. It's crazy how much of this so called information gives a consistent message of how hard it is to quit, how understandable it is to fail, how it's basically ok to be a helpless victim, or even in the case of many vaping websites, to be proud to belong to this new generation of 'aware vapers'.... more enslaved than ever. I remember earlier in my quit people said, be mad. Understand what's happening, how they do it, educate yourself and be angry! I think this is that. What you were talking about. It's crazy. I can't unsee it anymore. I don't need that shit in my body, I don't need it to poison my mind. The nicotine business, whether it's cigarettes, vaping, chewing, gum or you name it, that business is sick to it's core. There's people making zillions out of it and I walked straight in line... Never, never ever again.
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Saturday 9th febuary 2019
- Friday 8 th febuary 2019
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How it used to be
Was up and about last night, suddenly remembering the endless conversations with myself... Id forgot how I would be terribly awake at night , debating whether I would smoke outside or maybe in the kitchen. I forgot how I lay awake and then almost always ended up smoking inside the house, regretting the smell immediately. I forgot how often I thought, you know what, let's finish that bottle of wine now im at it. And ofcourse that meant another two cigarettes. I didn't want ashtray smell the next morning so I used the sink. Then id go back to bed, racing heart, foul stinky breath and smoke smell under the blankets, short of breath, coughing. Oh, so ready for sleep! Which often didn't come anyway.. so... I went out of bed again... *repeat* Junkie thinking is popping up like crazy these days. Nothing I can't handle, but pretty annoying nonetheless. Forcing myself to think back at all the things I hated about smoking really helps. What are some of the nuisances you forgot about...?
- Thursday 7th febuary 2019
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Wednesday 6th Febuary 2019
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I’m back ?
Hey Kenzie, how are you doing? Hope you shook off your panick from last weekend.
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Redneck or Genius.....
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Tuesday 5 th febuary 2019
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Decided to have a few glasses of wine with friends.
And you know what, it may feel so fake in the beginning, the rewards and all. But for me, it means huge deal in my quit! I never learned to reward myself as a kid/adult, so I had a very hard time doing so, early on. But people kept saying that so I tried. From chocolates to bigger things like clothing. Also planning things, acting on them en then enjoying the reward feeling for doing what I promised myself. It's all an important part of my succesful quit of over 5 months!
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Decided to have a few glasses of wine with friends.
Weak? I think you are strong. Posting an sos can be scary, but you did it. Not smoking when you feel like you did can be scary, but you fought through. Well done!!
- Monday 4 th febuary 2019
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Introsucktion
I know you are right. My energy is being drained by dealing with breakup, since last weekend. Not only did I lose my man, I also have to discard an image of what our future would have been like. Every crave I thought id dealt with in the past 5 months, is back. Am not sure how, only know that I HAVE to get through without lighting up. I do have a choice and I make it time and time again. You are right @Cbdave
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Sunday 3 rd febuary 2019
Nope. Driving around in my car, fled the house because of a loud party in the building. 00:12 where I live. I need my sleep ffs. Kinda desperate and this better be just another glorious step in working towards one year.
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Introsucktion
Yes. I have to. I really don't have another option, do I?