MLMR

If there's something like the secret to quitting, this is it! Take the surprise and emotion out of triggers and you are left with what they really are: patterns, patterns and more patterns. Once I saw that, it was so much easier to deal with triggers, or to respond in different ways other than lightening up. Example, from back in october. At that point I thought I was done with morning triggers: 'Started with the SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lamp this morning, third year in a row. Made myself a nice coffee and had some papers ready, to prepare for today. So I am sitting behind this absurdly bright light and suddenly this intense crave hits me... omg!!! In a flash I see myself lighting up, immediately having that 'Ahhhhh'moment, so at first I'm all 'wtf is this, where does this come from, oh nooo'. Panick, 'Will this ever st....' And then it dawns on me. The lamp is HEAVILY connected with morning smoking rituals. Waking up, coffee, lamp, one or two cigarettes (the only onesduring all seasons I allowed myself to smoke IN the house, as to ease and boost myself for REALLY doing this lamp thing, waddajamean fvcking up my reward system), and I kidd you not, the crave eases out the second I understand the connection. Knowing this intens 'wanting' is nothing more than a brainfart, a result of programming. Knowing that here and now, in this moment, I cut yet another tie with this darned addiction! My tip would be to try to remove the emotional aspect of triggers, try to detach from that. Ofcourse, cry if you need to, because of the sudden surprise, or scare maybe. And after that comes healing. Each time a little bit more.

Guys, guys!! I said, 'putting the board somewhat in the background. Not, 'goodbye and talk to you never again!' I cant seem to find my way here in the socialization section, maybe its language barrier... dunno. Often afraid I misunderstand jokes and give wrong answers to them... that doesnt make the social section/whatever section very relaxed for me to be... so then all i talk about here is quitting and growing and proces... really, cant hear myself going on about that anymore.. but, i assume it just takes time for me to adjust and to get back some old aspects of myself.. I am not even sure this makes sense. Why am I explaining anyway... All is allright. Anyway, ill be around. And... thanks.

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So, 7 month mark! Glad to be at this point and grateful for ploughing on and for all the encouraging words I received. Thanks so much for that. Its probably time to put the board somewhat in the background. I think i need to push myself in the direction of 'life after quitting'. As glad and grateful as i am, i feel like I should re-focus now. I miss part of my old self, the not so serious part, the part that likes to joke around and doesnt take every fart so serious. Since i cant afford to joke about quitting, but still really, really need my lightheartedness ... I may have to trust myself a bit more in the foundation that i've laid these last 7 months. It sounds absurd, but its almost like I have to say to myself: its ok to laugh now, saying goodbye to smoking is done. Go on! Not so sure what will come next, but I know I cant keep reading about cancer and dopamine and neurotransmitters and Buerger's disease forever and expect life to be good without chasing after the fun of it... I have a massive fundament and now... moving on. Writing this down is ACTUALLY scary. Crazy ass addiction this is... but, 'So long and thanks for all the fish!' ( and yep. I'll remain vigilant. There's a lot at stake. I know.)

There's something that's bothering me for some time now and that is the grave importance of, well, EVERYTHING, since I quit. Its like I became 10 times as serious. I think I used to be more fun to be around. All the reading and studying, Im pretty fed up with it, to be honest. I want my humor back, my non-planning, my go-with-the-flow and ... pretty much, my old me but without the smoking ofcourse. Let it be clear, i dont miss that for one second. Do people recognize this and if so, when and how did you settle that?

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Ugh, that must be so scary. Sorry you are going through this. Thanks for taking the time to write this down.. these are the messages that keep reminding me to do everything in my power to protect my quit. Whishing you well, hope there's treatment for this ugly part of your autoimmune disease. Take care!

Kudo's for reaching out when you need it. Thats a massive part of building a strong quit. Hope today will be better for you.

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Be careful with coffee. "Anyone who feels jittery after a few days of quitting should examine his or her caffeine consumption levels. Many find that they cannot tolerate caffeine consumption at prequit levels," says Spitzer. "If you are experiencing a jittery feeling you may want to experiment with reducing quantity or strength of caffeinated drinks or products." https://whyquit.com/pr/041407.html

No need to say sorry, good for you to reach out. Its been a long time since i smoked in the house, but I remember I put cups of water with vinegar in the house, vinegar attracts odours (and flies!). I even sprayed it on the couch. The smell of the vinegar itself diasappears after a while. Windows open, curtains in the washing machine... enjoy!

'Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong' - Johann Hari About rediscovering purpose, connection and all that.

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I whish you the very best Julie and I am so sorry for everything you have to deal with right now. I find it inspiring to see you coming here and owning up and care for your quit. I am in awe!

Scary news, Abby! Hope you will know more soon. Take care while waiting for news. Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy!! Long time favorite! "Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space." Oh and...

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SHIT. It happened, quitting became my religion. Bumped into a collegue. Started talking about month 5 and 6, the grief cycle and Keeping The Quit. With my 'listen to me, this shit is SO important' face. She drifted off and I fell silent. 'You know what, nevermind'. And we parted. I need a smokeless antidote! A good portion of carelessness. Wanting my 'f... that' attitude back.

First of, welcome! Nice to have you here and thanks for introducing yourself. I bet you are busy all the time, fighting specific moments...like, after dinner, first of the day, coffee etc. I wrote it all down at the time, to get a more honest view on things conquered. Our brains are experts in deceiving, for example thinking on day 8 its still as bad as the first few days. While in reality its... a different bad, ha! Are you planning on keeping a diary?

*** BIG FAT NOPE ***