lml

Now that is a moment to CELEBRATE!!!

WOW!

Thanks jet. While in the past, my daughter has tried to express how negatively my smoking has her, I didn't hear it. Now, those things that she has said throught the years resounds loud and clear in my mind. While I did not smoke in front of her, she suffered from it - mentally and emotionally. She knew I was an addict because of my constant need and tried to tell me. She is just thrilled I QUIT and is so supportive. I have not relapsed (only in my mind sometimes) and understand more and more as days go by, that I NEED to quit - thank you for the reminder. Glad to read your Dad quit and lived a long and healthy life. Despair not and Doreen, Sorry about the loss of JWG. Shane, Sorry about your relatives. I ignored/denied so much in life regarding smoking. I too, so hate this addiction Doreen. So sorry for your loss. I had a discussion with my daughter this week. Because we can have some discussions without my "need" for a nicotine fix take precedence so many times throughout the years, I told her that for the first time in my life, I would gladly go through the withdrawl even if I knew I had weeks left to live. I don't need to say, hold that I thought, I want a cig and will be right back; like she was just going to wait in suspension for me. As a result of not "wanting/needing" a cig every hour, we have been able to connect without being interrupted. Amazing...that I gave THAT up for cigarettes.

Congrats!

Well done Ren

Excellent post and excellent video...

Saz, Thank you so much for finding all the things you do and bumping them up. They speak to me.

In addition to the words of experience, hope and encouragement, this journey is kind enough to give me wonderful moments and glimpses of what it is like. Thank you people and thank you universe.

Thank you everyone, for your encourgement and words of hope once more. I feel like a toddler learning to walk, but for some dang reason...at this age, I like a toddler learning new things, NEED this.

I want to be free from being a slave to the addiction. I want to breathe better and give my lungs a chance to heal as much as possible ( I am so sorry my dear lungs) I want to give my heart a chance to heal as much as possible (I am so sorry my dear heart) I want to give the rest of my body that I am beginning to learn was hurt by my smoking a chance to heal as much as possible (I am sorry my body) My daughter and I take a great vacation together every year. This next one, I want to fully enjoy every moment of it with her, without thinking of where I can have the next smoke. Great question / post jetblack. Just thinking about it and bringing it to the forefront of my mind brings back my resolve. At this point in my quit, it is so important that while there may be a thought sometimes that festers in my brain that I "want" to smoke , there are things that I want much, much more which I won't be able to do if I cave to the just one cig/puff thought.

Sometimes, I wonder if my being an addict is karma...lol. I always thought that people who were addicted to anything were weak, didn't want to quit, dumb, chose their addiction over life, etc. I see that I was judgemental, because now, I understand that I don't know a thing about addiction, but I am learning. And I want and thank you all for your words of advice and help. You have walked and fought a path I do not know. So please, if I am going off the proven path, please let me know. I want to be free of this addiction. I read and contemplate what you write. So much help... Thanks jillar. I remember. But I just don't understand why I think I want a cigarette sometimes. I have to remember not to overthink it and just tell it, no, I want to live. I am sorry about your family members. Thanks reciprocity. I am sorry about your dad and sister. While last night, I was in a little bit of a tissy, this morning I am so happy that I stayed true to my commitment not to smoke. Sometimes, just coming here and writing about my tissy, keeps me from doing it. I write my thoughts and confusion and get it out there. And as I am writing here, it begins disipating. Then I read responses and I am beginning to grasp how much everyone here really have a dedication to helping others QUIT! Sorry about your boss PeaceTrain. I send thoughts of healing and a full recovery for your boss out to the universe. Hugs to you Jo. Sorry about your relatives. This made me think of a song I loved back during those days... Those were the days my friend, we thought they'ed never end, we'd sing and dance forever and a day. And it also made think of the Egyptian Tree of Life. There are many branches on a tree and each branch has a bird sitting on it, looking out over the land. You would progress from the lowest brach to the highest branch looking to the right as you aged, then you begin progressing from the highest brach to the lowest branch looking to the left as you further aged. Each time the bird (you) progressed to the next branch, you see things completely different than you did when you were on previous branch and you gain new experiences. At age 18, most do not see nor have not experienced life and love to give them the understanding they have later in life; And are we ready for the next experience until we have gone through the previous? Will continue this thread later...Thank you each and everyone of you for sharing your losses. I am so sorry for you losses.

Good morning. Nope!

My Dad had a heart attack when he was 70. He had smoked since he was 15. The doctors first tried the baloon procedure, but the next day they had deflated ( don't remember the exact medical terms). They were planning bypass surgery for the following day. The doctor came in and found my dad sneaking a cig in the bathroom. He told my dad that if he continued smoking, he would not do the surgery, but he would give him a gun to shoot himself, as it was the same as smoking. My Dad never smoke another cig after that. He did get cancer 12 years later and died at age 85. My one sister has asthma; my mom had breathing difficulties and heart irregularities. Back in those days, it was ok to Smoke in house and car with Windows closed in winter. Sigh...second hand? I helped care for both my parents in their last year. My daughter told me that if I have serious medical problems because of smoking, she will not take care of me the way I did for my parents. Need to add that my daughter is a wonderful daughter and we have a great relationship, but she hates me smoking and killing myself. Sigh...and I "want" to Smoke a cigarette right Now? I am such a stupid addict; it really sucks.

Sorry shane. but wow you did great! Thanks for sharing what it takes to win and remain free. I see s lot of strength, wisdom, intelligence and commitment in you...and a new word I will keep close to me...vigilance. I can only hope to handle it with the fortitude and grace you demonstrated. Wow...just wow.

Meant a lot to me. Thank you Missdixie and congratulations.

My mouth is watering. strawberry jam, scones and cream...yummmmmmm

The rain comes The clouds turn darker Flash lights sky Night is quiet Until thunder roars Storm is here (I just looked up haiku ...lol)

I try to learn things from what I experience everyday; why am I experiencing a situation? What can I learn or what do I need to learn? And while there is so much nonsense that I cannot make sense of that I experience as a result of having quit smoking, sometimes it is my "overthinking" that keeps it from making sense. So today, I think simply put, I am an addict. If I leave it at that, my smoking behavior makes "sense". And it makes "sense" how I became addicted because I have become a little bit educated on the addictive properties of nicotine. Yet, since I am also "me", more than an addict, the me who was kept in the dark for many, many years, but who is now seeing the light - I cannot make sense of why I (or anyone) I believed my addicted persona's lies for so long. Was it a self-esteem problem? ummm---I always thought I had great self esteem (Afraid and too weak to quit without nicotine's help...lol - there I go overthinking - too much for right now.) So for now, it is enough for me to understand and accept that I am a nicotine addict! Today, I will not overthink it and go down rabbit holes; I will just not smoke. Eventually, if it is important in my journey, I may understand the whys behind things, but for now, I will “take heart” and persevere. I am stronger than a crave. If I need help, I do believe you have my back and are in tune to things that may beginning to make me question myself. My quit is new, fragile and precious. I cannot get complacent. I QUIT and will "just not smoke" - it is not an option. I need to remember this may be a lifetime battle for me. Thank you all. I got this battle for now and need to take heart and prepare for more to come.

Me too...and at this point in time, it hits really close to home. Thinking of you Sunny. I am hurting for you and me. ??

Good morning! NOPE!

Ugh

For me, even if my body is tired because of the treadmill or swim, I won't be able to sleep until I calm my mind and being. I usually start with a cup of chamomile or lavender distress non-caffeine tea. For some reason, that signals my mind it is time to unwind, so I listen to calming music for a bit. A little deep breathing and meditation. If I am still not in total relax sleep, I pick up a philosophy or extensial book and read. Usually I am in sleep mode after I have been reading one of those for 15 mins...lol..they are so deep. so I spend anywhere from half hour to an hour unwinding. Best of luck finding you way to a good and healthy sleep.

Now that is what started me quitting. I so want a Smoke FREE vacation this year. It is my dream that I can climb all the steps through the mountains in Japan without having to stop to catch my breath AND without stopping to have a cig all the time. I so forgot about carrying around the butts and how gross they smelled. Thanks so much for sharing and so happy for you that you had such a wonderful Smoke FREE vacation!!! That is my dream. By then my nicotine receptors should be deactivated or gone or whatever happens to them. OMG. Amazing pictures and places you have been!!! The idea of getting a bike looks like a lot of fun. Freedom on the bike, free of nicotine. I so needed this post.

You got some great advice Sunny! My perspective is a little different than some, but here goes... While I imagine it must be so discouraging for you right now, in my opinion, it doesn't mean you lost your quit unless you don't get right back on it! Don't start all over, just pick up and move on with your quit. Don't let a slip turn into a relapse. You are stronger than this Sunny!

Very beautiful. I just moved to a high rise and will be on the 11th floor. I have a balcony, but not sure yet how to have a garden on the balcony in south florida. Sigh. I had always loved my garden when I had a house. If anyone has any experience with balcony gardens, I would love to hear your ideas.