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lml

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Everything posted by lml

  1. OMG. This hits home. How was I so blind that I was addicted to cigarettes? Because it is legal after all? It controlled me. I am going to print this one out and put it everywhere in case I ever "forget" how much my addiction controlled my life.
  2. Thanks Suz916. Yes. each time I fight it off, I get more confident that I am capable of using/developing coping mechanisms. I see you quit in March? how are you doing? Thanks reciprocity. I expected two parts, but found I am experiencing three separate parts :). The physical, the behaviorial (all my habits) and what I am now learning of pychoanalysis (how smoking has altered my brain and dopamine).
  3. Hi Sazerac and jillar, Thanks for the post and encouragement. I am surprised at how much these things help!!! My thinking right now is still muddled up with the way of thinking of a nicotine addict, that I find it helpful to put this stuff out there, go back and read it, and see what others who have been there and see what someone else who has been through this has to say. I don't trust my thinking in this area right now. I have been struggling with what jillar wrote. I feel my body has adapted to the step 3 and the dopamine supply has adapted to step 3, which is why I am seriously considering it would be a good time to go to step 2. I am really torn because I have also read that the receptors that have been hi-jacked by nicotine won't completely return to their normal non-smoker state until nicotine has been out of my system for 3-6 weeks! And I am still keeping them alive and active by giving them the nicotine through the patch. The receptors went crazy the first couple of days with step 3 dosage of the patch (as did my mood swings - although not as bad as without the patch), but then adapted and stabilized. I am thinking that when I go to step 2, which is a lower dose of nicotine, it will take a couple days for the receptors to adapt to the lower dosage also - it seems inevitable. I know I am be rushing things, but from what I have read about the nicotine receptors in the brain, it is going to be an adjustment no matter when I go to it. But what jillar about going off NRTs too soon is based on experiences of many who have relapsed and those who did not... My goal is not only to be smoke free but to be nicotine free; but I don't want to jeaporidize the quit smoke date by not following the recommended patch program. Surprisingly, my lungs are already starting to feel better after my "power" walks (keep in perspective I am almost 65, so it is all relative ?). If anyone has used the patch, can you let me know what you experienced when you went from step 3 to step 2? I would appreciate it. Sigh...
  4. It is day 5. I am on the patch, step 3, so still feeding my nicotine receptors. Yet, I still go through cravings; I imagine they are not as bad as if it was cold turkey, but there are times when the craves are intense. I get up from work and go for walks when I get a bad crave and that usually helps. I do deep breathing and meditation. I remind myself about why I decided to quit smoking and why I don't ever want to smoke another. I read about all the destructive things that smoking does. And while I don't want one, I crave one. My mind is a crazy thing. I am totally addicted not just to nicotine, but to smoking. I do get through the craves, and will continue to "fight" my way through each one and chose to do things that are good for me rather than giving in to the crave; but geez...it's tough. Logically it should be a no-brainer - do something good for me that I enjoy doing or do something bad for me that I do not enjoy. For me, one step at a time. Next week, I will go down step 2 of the patch.
  5. Congrats CA. It is so encouraging to a newbie like me to see others doing this.
  6. Thank you all for the welcome and the encouragement. It really does help me to know that you are there for support and to read about trials and successes. Today is Day 5 for me.
  7. Hi all, I decided to quit smoking several months ago and set my quit date, which I changed a bit to coincide with my move to a new place - where I have not established any smoking places. I started on 4/29/2018 and am using the patch, which is taking the edge off the physical withdrawl, but I am still dealing with the habits like waking up in the morning with a cup of coffee, get in the car to go work, morning break, before and after lunch, afternoon break., etc. You name it, I had a habit. I am an addict. I am going to be 65 in July and have been smoking since I was 16. I "quit" a couple times, one when I was pregnant and once when my daughter was 10 and talked me into it. But this time, I wanted to quit for me. And as I read and learn, day by day, I am becoming more aware of how addicted I am and how much of my life has been controlled by my "need" for a cigarette. This is a battle of and for my life. I want to live and breathe; I started preparing for retirement and travel and began exercising on the tread mill. I worked hard to get up to 2 miles, but the shortness of breath I felt was not just from the exercise, it was from smoking. I have given enough time to smoking. Now that I am reaching 65, time is precious. I took time to smoke before I left for somewhere I wanted to go and time to smoke once I got there before I did what I wanted to do. So much time... Even with the patch on, there are times when I automatically reach for a cigarette. I bring celery sticks with me and on my drive to work yesterday morning, I noticed I was "smoking" a celery stick! Day by day, habit by habit, crave by crave... Best of luck to everyone.

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