newbie here

[BrandyWyne]

Hello everyone, thank you in advance for any support :)

 

I'm 34, been smoking over 20 years. Lost count of quit attempts, some lasted a year or more but I always come back to it :( I don't know why!

My mother is 55 and suffering from emphysema, and still smoking. Seeing this makes me seriously fear the future and I want to quit for good so badly.

 

Nearly all of my family, friends and co-workers smoke and are very unsupportive of my quit attempts. (I know they are not to blame, and this is my issue that I let them influence me.) But I am not able to cut them out of my life and their constant snarky comments about me quitting, and being always surrounded by smoke, really drag me down and I feel I just can't escape it.

 

I am in serious need of support and encouragement from other "quitters." I always feel extremely alone in my attempts to get healthy. Any tips, advice, kind words, help of any kind are appreciated. Thank you all for being here!

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Brandy.

 

We worry ourselves unnecessarily about quitting only to find that in a relatively short time the only regret we have about making the commitment to quit is that we didn't do it sooner.  It's a challenge, but a worthwhile challenge.  Withdrawal symptoms go away, they always do.  Every time you resist the urge to light a cigarette, you are creating new pathways in your brain.  Eventually, nicotine addiction loses its voice.

 

Freedom from nicotine is attainable.  Education about nicotine addiction allows you to dispel the myths and lies of the cigarette.  Information and support are readily available here at QT.

 

As for smokers who attempt to derail your effort...that is the crab mentality in action.  If you've ever seen crabs in a barrel, the ones on the bottom will expend more energy pulling other crabs back in than they will attempting to escape themselves.  Most smokers secretly want to quit but are paralyzed by unreasonable fear of the process.  A successful quitter from their inner circle challenges the status quo, forces them to reevaluate their relation with cigarettes, and frankly is driven in part by jealousy.  There is no need for you to disown anyone, but you must take a stand for yourself.

 

Congratulations on making a great decision to quit.  Quitting is simple and freedom is a great payoff.  Enjoy the ride.

[PorkandPancakes]

Welcome Brandy. Boos post says it all really. It is true that once you start quitting you will wonder why you didn't try it sooner? Where are you? U.K.? USA?

 

My advice is educate yourself. There is so much to learn and once you do, the quitting becomes so much easier. Have the read Allen CARR'S easy way to quit smoking? That's a great place to start. For many successful quitters, cold turkey is the way forward. 3 days and the nicotine is gone then it's down to psychology but you'll go a long way with a positive determined attitude.

 

Emphysema is an horrific disease, as some others here may tell you first hand. Please, take the plunge and join us on the train. I promise you, it will change your life and you will not regret it!

[action]

Welcome :good:

 

Quitting can feel very lonely when everyone else around you smokes and secretly (or sometimes not so secretly), wants you to fail...  That is why fining support groups online is such a great help, not only for support, but also for information.  Without these guys, I never would have been able to break free from this addiction. 

 

My life has been transformed since I kicked the habit, but I still come here when I can to try to help others.

 

Stick around, and take in as much information as you can.  there are some inspirational people here who can help you to quit for good.

 

:)

[beacon]

 

Welcome Brandy! I am glad you came here to get support.  When I first quit, because I was active on a stop smoking forum, I felt stronger when I was tempted to smoke . I would think about the people online who had quit and know that I was no different than them and could quit too. 

 

I know that when I smoked and my friends would quit, I would get secretly scared and think about quitting too but I would put it off . I would actually be happy if they relapsed and came back to the group, i.e. the more the merrier. Junkie thinking. So, maybe your quit will inspire your mom and others to quit too, once they see you get over the initial craves and become free. 

[joe]

Welcome aboard, Brandy...

I don't have any more words of wisdom to offer, except that I agree with the above posts...

 

The only way to guarantee that your quit will be successful , is to not put things in your mouth and light them on fire. :p

 

We have a daily thread devoted to pledging not to smoke ... N.O.P.E.....Not One Puff Ever ...obviously "Ever" is a long time, so if you take it one day at a time, it's not as intimidating....I can do 1 day....not sure about "ever"...

 

The only other thing I would suggest is to come to this site often and check in...take advantage of all the resources available here.

 

On a personal note, I'm from Ohio Across the Lake from you.. and when I was younger, I used to go skiing at Brandywine.... Nice place, always had a good time there.

 

Again, welcome!

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you so much everyone! This is everything I need to hear...I did read Allen Carrs easy way years back and quit for a year with no NRT. It was the best year of my life, and for the life of me I cant remember how I started smoking again? Psychological of course, maybe I felt left out of the smoking club...and I don't lie to myself, I know it will never be just one puff, when I relapse I buy a pack with full intent to chain smoke the whole thing, yuck.

I told my mother I am quitting again, her response is "ugh self righteous ex-smokers are the worst!" As she struggles to breathe and grabs her inhaler :( it hurts to think she doesn't care about her health or mine, it is sad but I recognize its the "junkie" mentality, and I am so done with it all!

I really do struggle with it all mentally, I get past the physical withdrawals a-ok and just wrestle with the whole mental urges.

 

But I am so done!!!! Thank you all for the encouragement, it is just what I need and I will live by N.O.P.E!!!! Thank you thank you thank you...just knowing others in the same boat and having encouragement makes all the difference.

[joe]

For me, a lot of the quitting process WAS mental... Once I got into my head that I DID quit, it was much easier going foreword. For the longest time I kept thinking in my mind, that I was TRYING to quit....

 

And, yes....I became "one of those ex-smokers".... Lol.... At first I tried not to, but.... If I can seriously get someone I care about to even consider stopping, I will do anything in my power to help.....however, I try not to cross the line where I become irritating or pushy.

 

The bottom line is, we all know smoking is NOT a very healthy choice we made many years ago, And it really takes commitment to yourself to stop the addiction... Don't let others negative comments or opinions sway you... There is absolutely NOTHING negative about quitting.....even being accused of becoming a "self righteous ex-smoker". I am glad you know about the junkie thinking and recognize it..

 

Good luck, and we are here to help you through....

 

Head down, and eye on the prize. :)

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you Joe! Today is day one of smoke-free life again and I will be around smokers all day. I can definitely do this and negative comments from anyone around me will be ignored :)

I do not even nag others to quit, just the fact I am not smoking seems to irritate them lol. Must be jealousy! I believe there was a chapter about this in Allen Carrs book, I need to re-read that book!

This group will be a lifeline for me, I will check in often and as least "lurk" if not jumping in discussions. I love the support everyone gives each other that I can't find in my daily interactions face to face. Thank you!

[PorkandPancakes]

Brandy Im so pleased you're taking this step. Your mother's reaction comes from a place of pain as she knows the harm she has done to herself cage will one day acknowledge your success as you go further into your quit and maybe you'll even inspire her eventually. That thing where you 'miss' smoking. Well that's something you don't have to do as you come to realise that smoking actually does nothing for you. You are addicted to nicotine and the 'pleasure' you feel from a smoke is actually you satisfying your withdrawal from your previous smoke. life without having to satisfy this urge will be so enjoyable.

 

The support on this little train is wonderful do stick around and post often. There's always someone around to help. I'm so excited for you on this journey!

 

NOPE!

[Doreensfree]

Hi brandy...congrats on your wonderful quit,and finding this brilliant place...

I smoked for 5 decades...finding these great folks ..made all the difference to my last and sticky quit...

Don't let anyone discourage you ,this is your baby nobody else's...

Please pledge every day..it really does help...a little promise to yourself...

Smoking is not on the table no matter what...

This I repeated ....hundreds of times a day sometimes....

Don't worry about your family not showing support....we have ample to give out...x

 

Boo....your crabs ...very interesting...lol....

[MarylandQuitter]

Hello everyone, thank you in advance for any support :)

 

I'm 34, been smoking over 20 years. Lost count of quit attempts, some lasted a year or more but I always come back to it :( I don't know why!

My mother is 55 and suffering from emphysema, and still smoking. Seeing this makes me seriously fear the future and I want to quit for good so badly.

 

Nearly all of my family, friends and co-workers smoke and are very unsupportive of my quit attempts. (I know they are not to blame, and this is my issue that I let them influence me.) But I am not able to cut them out of my life and their constant snarky comments about me quitting, and being always surrounded by smoke, really drag me down and I feel I just can't escape it.

 

I am in serious need of support and encouragement from other "quitters." I always feel extremely alone in my attempts to get healthy. Any tips, advice, kind words, help of any kind are appreciated. Thank you all for being here!

 

Without a doubt, you can remain a non-smoker for the rest of your life, provided you're firm in you're commitment to never take another puff and unwavering is letting life's ups & downs influence your quit.  As far as others being non-supportive, please watch the videos below.  :)

 

Dealing With People Who Try To Undercut Your Quit

Video discusses how there may be times when you encounter family members or friends who actually try to undercut your quit. Often they are smokers who feel threatened by your quit, but there are times where non-smokers may encourage you to relapse too.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S46gMeHbws

 

Talking To Others About Not Smoking

Video discusses how talking both to long-term quitters as well as to people who are current smokers can help to strengthen your resolve to never take another puff.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n08bxg01NOw

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you P&P and Doreen! And Boo I like that analogy with the crabs, they do say misery loves company. "If I can't get out of this I want buddies at the bottom with me!" Lol..

I did read through posts on this site throughout the day today and it helped immensely. Friday's are the most stressful day at work for me and I came to this site each time I saw someone go out puffing away on a smoke break. and nothing on fire went in my mouth today, NOPE!

 

Btw to answer your earlier question P&P I'm in the U.S. Joe I see you said you're in Ohio, greetings from the Mitten! Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome, have a great night

[BAT]

Welcome Brandy :)

[PorkandPancakes]

Hey Brandy. It's probably the middle of the night there but here in the UK it is morning and the day has begun. Well done on day one. Today is day two of the the rest if your life. You are a non-smoker, which means you don't have to jump straight out of bed to go hunting for your cigs. You can take a minute to peruse the Quit Train and ponder about your day. Happy non-smoking!

[Boo]

Friday's are the most stressful day at work for me and I came to this site each time I saw someone go out puffing away on a smoke break. and nothing on fire went in my mouth today, NOPE!

 

That's how it's done.  I'm stating the obvious here, but all you have to do to quit is refrain from putting a cigarette in your mouth and lighting it on fire.  I complicated things in the beginning and then the simplicity of quitting hit me.  I realized that my addiction could only produce thoughts not actions.  Addiction only has the power we give it.  There is nothing to fight and we don't have to do anything.  We only have to quit doing one thing: smoking.  Once I accepted that, the smoking thoughts have been easy to dismiss.

 

 

This group will be a lifeline for me, I will check in often and as least "lurk" if not jumping in discussions. I love the support everyone gives each other that I can't find in my daily interactions face to face. Thank you!

 

The Quit Train is something I am sincerely thankful for and am always glad to see new members climb aboard.  You're starting out very well and we look forward to celebrating your newfound freedom along the way.  Once again, congratulations.

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you everyone.

Maryland, those videos are awesome. Put things even more in perspective. I hope I don't dump water on someone at work, but if they push my buttons, watch out lol...

 

I found one part especially hit home. Even never-smokers who get exasperated and say "ugh you're grumpy, just have a smoke." (Which I have heard before of course!) You wouldn't tell someone to stop chemo because they're grumpy. It's a life saving measure. So is quitting smoking, and they just don't understand it in that sense. That will really stick with me.

 

Well it's the weekend and Im relaxing at home, so workplace grumpiness is put off until Monday :) happy Saturday!

[joe]

Glad to see you "made it" to the week-end! You now have 2 days to do whatever is nessasary to make sure this quit is a success without any influence or "peer pressure" from those at work.

 

one thing I want to mention if it hasn't already been brought to your attention....... We have members from all over the world...and time zones.....so anytime you feel the need to scream, or just want someone to talk to that knows what you are going through, hop on here and post. And also, if you noticed the very first forum at the top of the page is for posting an S.O.S. ... If EVER you feel like you can't continue, PLEASE post an S.O.S. as soon as some sees it, they will reply and try to help you through the difficult time.....we all had them. The rule of thumb, is not to lite up and throw your quit away until you have had 3 responses to your S.O.S.

 

With that said... enjoy your (cool) weekend.....can't wait for the real spring time to get here. I've been lucky....a lot of the storms have been heading North towards you, but we are still getting rain, and cool (cold this weekend) temps...

[Nancy]

Welcome, Brandy!  You are doing great!

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you Nancy!

You're all so wonderful here. I tried a different quit site a few years ago. The people were so rude, weird negative vibe, I found it unhelpful and hesitated to give this another try. But I'm so glad I did.

 

and Joe, I will keep that S.O.S forum in mind.

Hope spring arrives soon for you too! We even have the "S-word" forecasted in some parts...snow in May? Noooo! Wacky Great Lakes weather...

[Boo]

Brandy, you are embracing the process of quitting and setting yourself up for success.  This is great news and it gets better.  Quitting smoking sets off a chain of events.  When we free ourselves from the slavery of cigarettes, we inevitably begin to improve other areas of our life.  Success begets success.

 

Quitting smoking is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Enjoy the ride.

[Petra]

Hi Brandy!

 

I missed your first couple days, but I know you are still going strong!  

 

Welcome!

[Sunnyside]

I'm a bit late too, but welcome on the train :)

[BrandyWyne]

Thank you Petra and Sunnyside!

Day 5 and still going strong :) though I will admit today was my grumpiest day so far. I was browsing the forums and watching videos for half of my work day (I'm the boss, so I can get away with it hehe..) but it worked and all day I told myself, nope! I am not a smoker anymore, simple as that! Keep repeating it long enough, it'll stick in my head lol

[joe]

Good job Brandy!

 

Getting educated on this addiction and taking it 1 day at a time is how you become a long time (forever) quitter...

 

Sticking close to this board and posting your progress is also a huge help in the process... We are all here to help and encourage you any way we can.

 

Don't forget to reward yourself along the way.... You are now "saving" a lot of money that was otherwise being spend to shorten your life....spend some of it now because you are extending it! ;) Celebrate!