Help!

[babs609]

6 months ago when my 18 year old son signed up for the military--seemed like a good idea and I was happy for him and surprisingly calm and courageous.

Since he enlisted--of course I have gotten negative nelly's telling me the horror stories (not what I needed to hear but thanks)

 

Please re-enforce with me why this was a good idea. Cause right now I want to vomit. He leaves in 4 days for his basic training (army)

 

He's my baby. We are very close. Last one to leave the nest and on the positive side--it's the first time since I was 19 years old that I'm not responsible for another human being and my life will begin a new chapter. :).

 

But still--I'm really sad and can't shake this feeling which is unlike me. Ugghhhhh

[El Bandito]

He will have a fantastic time - learning a lot about life and himself.

 

He will be grateful for your love, your positive attitude and support.

 

He may find a lifelong career - or he may just get a solid grounding for the rest of his life.

 

It is a good idea - and well done him and you.

[action]

Babs, people seem to remember the bad stories, rather than the good ones.  The good things happen so often, they are never mentioned!

 

Just think how proud you will be when you see him off, all dressed up in his uniform.  Remember what he is giving up is for his country, so everyone will be thankful for what he is doing!

 

And, won't you still be responsible for your husband?! :p

 

I'm probably not the best person to give advice on this, so have some (((hugs))) lol :wub:

[Petra]

Love to you !!!!  It will be a great experience for him.  He will grow strong and proud!  

 

And now that you know he will be well taken care of, (even thought it will be some tough times ahead for him), you can take this time to focus on you!  Doing some of those things you wanted to but couldn't.  Maybe you should take a road trip and come and visit me in Colorado with that buff body you're building! :)  We'll go out and party Quit Train style! :)

[Jenny]

I can understand why you would be worried and there is no way to not worry, but I can tell you that everyone I have ever known who went through military training has benefited from it in a huge way.  The military will teach him responsibility, honor, strength etc....There are few things as noble as protecting ones country.  He will also gain likelong skills, a career and have wonderful benefits towards college should he decided to do that in the future.

 

What he won't get is services at the VA should he ever need it. lol---Think VA scandal!

[Doreensfree]

Hi babs....

Of course I understand you....its still hard for to watch nicky go home,so far away

When your baby finally leaves the nest,it takes time to adjust.....

But it's also a wonderful feeling watching them grow into fine men and women.....

How proud of him you must feel.....

He will look so handsome I'm his uniform,and yes you will shred a tear or two....

I wish him every sucess in his new adventure....

Hugs

[BAT]

Your doing what Moms do. It's normal.  :)

[Still winning]

I'm sure he will learn amazing things and really grow into himself. Career on not, any military bring out every nuance of people and give them a massive amount of self worth and camraderie. It will be fab for him!!

 

As a Mum, you are going to have to do the brave face. xx (((Babs)))

[MarylandQuitter]

There are horror stories in every job, but of course the risk while in the military is greater, depending on what he'll be doing.  I've worked with the Marine Corps and Navy for many years.  Many of my friends are retired from both and I can tell you that they don't regret a single day of service.  Heck, I can look out the window and see 3 and 4 star Admirals walking about and I can say without hesitation they don't regret what they signed up for.

 

Your son will soon be a man.  A man who will learn what it means to serve of purpose greater than himself which translates into a resposible husband and father.  Of course there are always exceptions, but that goes both ways.  :)  I've seen 18 and 19 year old Marines go from a kid to a man and a girl to woman in a matter of months.

 

Some like it and some don't.  If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to re-enlist.  The old school days of the military are long gone.  The old timers miss the old days when they could put their hands on somebody and the youngsters have no idea what it was like.  Nowadays it's a career with tons of beneifits, even if you only serve one enlistment.  Retire?  Pfft.  If I would have joined I would be retired from the Army and working on a second retirement right now.

 

As a parent, it's got to be tough.  I remember my Mom and how upset she was when I signed up when I was 17, fresh out of high school.  Although I was unable to enlist at that time (medical reason), I instead went to college.  I don't regret it because I didn't have a choice, but my first choice was the Army.  Had I known then what I know now, I would have chosen the Marine Corps. :)  Army makes more money though.

 

He'll either hate basic training or love it.  Either way, he's going to learn a lot of things about himself and others that most never get the chance to.  After basic training, once he get's settled in to his new routine, he'll probably love it and think it was the best decision he ever made.

 

Hang in there.  There's no getting around what you're feeling, but soon you'll be back to your old self.

[...]

Do you remember when you were pregnant and women would always tell you about the God awful stories of their labor ? Like somehow we wanted to hear all that knowing our own labor is just around the corner. I never have been able to understand why we do this to others.

 

And then you go into labor and none of those horrible stories happen.......

 

Your in labor Babs. It's all gonna be ok.

[IamDoingIt]

Hi Babs! I joined the Marine Corps when I was 17 years old. I spend 11 years of my life serving. I look back, and I do not regret one minute of that time. I am now 50. All that training has stuck with me through my life.

 

I went through the first Desert Storm. I can tell you there might be scary times for you and your son. I know my mother worried about me a lot. Hey...that's what moms do!

 

He will learn many things, experience things very few people get to, grow into a responsible, respectable man! There will be times when he hates it. There will be times when you hate it. I can promise you....nothing will bring you more pride than seeing him in his dress uniform. He will enjoy his training (mostly), and he will be able to go a far as his dreams take him. His time served will stay with him the rest of his life. He will learn valuable lessons that most young men never learn.

 

You should hold your head high and be proud your son is serving our glorious country.

 

Do me a favor and shake his hand for me. Tell him, 'Thank you for serving!'

[sharonsiff]

Aww Babs....

 

Everyone has given you fantastic info already so I'll just say, from mum to mum, " chin up my lovely, you've got an exciting new phase of your life to explore now ;) " xxx

[Tink]

no matter how much I told my mum not to worry

 

she told me it was her job to worry and still does I am 44 next month LOL

 

he will still need his mum even when he is a roughty toughty soldier ;) you bet your butt he will bringing bags of laundry back for you :) and maybe a mate or two to stay the weekend :) and expect yummy mum dinners :)

 

 

first he will hate it then he will either carry on hating it or loving it - its not for everyone the basic training is all about that really he will find out alot about himself in those weeks and an experience he will never forget

 

personally basic training was the hardest for me only because it was all new i had to re learn everything and learn so much more whilst being shouted at and usually running around :) but it will be his and your proudest moment when he passes out.

 

the rest all i can say is  let us know, pm me or other vets or families

 

I cant say dont worry because I know you will but we are here to help if we can xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

take advantage when he is gone training i expect to see you in the sex and confessions threads!!

 

 

 

 

[Colleen]

Aww..Babs, your baby is grown up now...a scary feeling all in it's own, never mind off to boot camp.  You'll be the strong mama you've always been and maybe shed a few tears after he's gone.  It's Okay, it's normal :)

[Leanna]

Babs, he's your baby. It's normal to be upset and worried. I am not a parent (as of yet), so I can only imagine what you're going through. My mom was always worried about me and would still be if she were around today. I believe it's only natural. 

 

I think he will learn a lot and grow as a person from the training. People only remember and dwell on the bad stuff, so try not to let them get to you. 

 

Hugs. 

[babs609]

thank you all so much!  I knew I could count on my quit smoking buddies...and you did not disappoint!  I appreciate each and every one of your heartfelt, uplifting messages.....helped tremendously.  My mother, who hasn't' been to the site in weeks...happened to come by and see my post...so she called me and came for dinner last night and we had fun talking and hanging out with my son. 

 

Feeling much better today :)

 

My boy is getting ready for his new adventure...and so am i.  :)

 

Change is good

[sharonsiff]

Glad you feel more settled in your thoughts Babs xx

[Doreensfree]

thank you all so much!  I knew I could count on my quit smoking buddies...and you did not disappoint!  I appreciate each and every one of your heartfelt, uplifting messages.....helped tremendously.  My mother, who hasn't' been to the site in weeks...happened to come by and see my post...so she called me and came for dinner last night and we had fun talking and hanging out with my son. 

 

Feeling much better today :)

 

My boy is getting ready for his new adventure...and so am i.  :)

 

Change is good

Nice one babs.....(((((hugs )))))))