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Death In The West - The Marlboro Story (Full Documentary)

I smoked.

Holski

By Holski,
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Holski Newbie

Holski

Posted
Posted

I smoked.

I started on Saturday morning and my new quit day is tomorrow.

I have not been able to get the whole "it really does nothing for you" straight in my head.

It makes sense logically but I was still missing it.

I had to force it, really.

I thought about all of you and immediately pushed that thought away.

My head still associates smoking with fun and barbeques and youth and

freedom.

It isn't though.

I'm really sad because I like all of you so much and I feel

dumb and like a broken record.

MQ, Jenny, Babs, Colleen, Nancy, Action, Sarge, I know I'm missing some names here.

I'm just nervous.

Beacon!! Waaah!

 

Lame.

 

Thanks for being here.

 

 

 

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Leanna Apprentice

Leanna

Posted
Posted

Hey Holski:

 

I'm sorry about the relapse. :( I know what it's like to start all over again and it's never any fun. Definitely get rid of those cigarettes and start fresh. Don't wait. Remember, there are no benefits to smoking, no matter what your junkie mind is telling you. We're here for you. Your last quit proved that you CAN quit. You just need to make this one your sticky quit. 

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El Bandito Apprentice

El Bandito

Posted
Posted

Awww Holski. That's a pain in the butt.

 

Still. That's done.

 

Welcome Aboard the Quit Train!

 

(pssst...you might want to read about a system called SOS. Saved a few quits)

 

The real question is - have you learned something? Have you cracked "it does nothing for you"? What's the plan with that?

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sharonsiff Newbie

sharonsiff

Posted
Posted

So sorry for you :(

 

Sounds like you see smoking as part of what's you, your identity?

 

Felt exactly the same...just pants.

 

Maybe read up on the psychological side of the addiction? I wish I had the answer (got there in my own mish mash way)

 

If only we could purchase a new identity ;)

 

You've read up on nicotine and the nature of addiction so maybe reading up on the psychology of self might help?

 

What's done is done, dust yourself down and crack on.

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action Newbie

action

Posted
Posted

Awwww Holski :(

 

I thought we were seeing less of you recently... :(

 

I am so glad you posted this, as it would have been so easy to just swim away into the deep blue sea and carry on smoking!

 

We are here for you, and we any to help you. Please let us because we want the best possible life for you, our friend.

 

Doe one favour, if your quit date really is tomorrow, then make sure it is tomorrow (even though today is better) - I'm watching you! ;)

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MarylandQuitter Grand Master

MarylandQuitter

Posted
Posted

I smoked.

I started on Saturday morning and my new quit day is tomorrow.

I have not been able to get the whole "it really does nothing for you" straight in my head.

It makes sense logically but I was still missing it.

I had to force it, really.

I thought about all of you and immediately pushed that thought away.

My head still associates smoking with fun and barbeques and youth and

freedom.

It isn't though.

I'm really sad because I like all of you so much and I feel

dumb and like a broken record.

MQ, Jenny, Babs, Colleen, Nancy, Action, Sarge, I know I'm missing some names here.

I'm just nervous.

Beacon!! Waaah!

 

Lame.

 

Thanks for being here.

 

Sorry that you relapsed, Holski.

 

You don't have to grasp the concept of "there is nothing to benefit from smoking" to quit.  What you do need to grasp around that head of yours as you stand at the foot of the mighty Wasatch is that you're a nicotine addict and you're going to miss smoking and even think about it from time-to-time and probably all the time at the beginning. 

 

Let me fill you in on a little something about myself.  I still associate smoking with driving, cutting the grass, digging holes for landscaping, being mad, sad, happy and bored.  I associate smoking with just about everything because I used to smoke while I experienced everything that comes along with doing business on planet earth.  Why should you be any different and be allowed to get away with not associating smoking with anything pleasant and only the bad stuff?  That is not what you or I signed up for when we chose to become nicotine addicts.  You don't get to make your own rules.

 

What you're struggling with are the consequences of being a nicotine addict.

 

Smoking is killing you and the sooner you stop poisoning yourself the sooner your body can start healing itself from the torture you're putting your lungs, heart, arteries, kidneys, brain and self-confidence (to name just a few) through.

 

If you have to force your quit then by all means force it and do it ruthlessly.

 

Your quits, your relapses and your new quit has nothing to do with how we feel about you.  We all love you and care about you as a person but also about your quit because your quit, or lack of one, is what we're here for.  We care about you and you should be nervous because that tells me that you care as well.

 

You need to quit.  You know how to quit.  The time has come to stay quit and that, my friend, is where you'll need to dig deep and no matter what happens, don't smoke.  I don't care how sad, mad or whiny you become because you can't get your way and allow yourself to smoke.  Don't smoke.  Don't smoke.

 

There have been times that I have been as low as the tread on my shoes and yes, I thought about smoking and was not the least bit surprised that I had thought about it.  I expected to think about it because I am an addict.  But for me, although I think about smoking, I don't want to smoke and the rare occasions that I think I do, I just don't.  To have this mindset you have earn it by putting in the time.  You don't just get to have it.  You worked hard to become an addict now work hard to break that addiction.

 

I don't know why you don't just quit now but that's beside the point.  I quit at 7 pm.  Anyway, once you quit on 5-10-2014 (this is called your quit date :)), please make a thread (or create a blog on this site) so you can hold yourself accountable and keep a journal as you embark on your sticky quit.

 

Make 5-10-2014 the day you will remember for the rest of your life.  That, my friend, starts tomorrow.

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Jenny Newbie

Jenny

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry for you my friend.  Proud of you for admitting it and getting back on the wagon.  You can do this Hol!  First thing you need to do is get it out of your head that smoking has anything to offer you.

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Colleen Newbie

Colleen

Posted
Posted

I had wondered where you had gotten off to!  This time you will be proactive, yes?  Since you plan on quitting tomorrow, you have an entire day to map your game plan.  Think of what you will do when faced with situations that you usually smoke through.  Don't forget the SOS either, it works wonders.  Watch some of those videos of people dying from smoking.  Read up on COPD.  It never shows up until it is too late and is worse than cancer.  For some people, it's like breathing out of a straw.  You can do this Holski!  You've done it before, but they were just trial runs...this time it will be for good!

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Holski Newbie

Holski

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks again, all.

Today is the day as I originally posted this last night.

I got up right away and got on the computer.

Well, after getting my coffee.

Anyway, I beat the stupid just have one voice

to the punch.

:)

MQ, thanks. I don't know why I need permission to still crave smokes and not smoke. But I have permission.

Also, growing the hell up will help.

I'm not a kid in my teens fighting the system.

I'm a 42 year old shark that wants to live to see his boy shark have kids someday.

 

Deeep breaths.

:)

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sgt.barney Rookie

sgt.barney

Posted
Posted

I have not been able to get the whole "it really does nothing for you" straight in my head.

 

 

There is only one thing all successful quitters "get" that unsuccessful ones don't.

 

It is this: ever.

 

The "E" in NOPE.

 

Not. One. Puff. Ever.

 

EVER.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

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babs609 Apprentice

babs609

Posted
Posted

That's right Holski!! No matter what.

 

No matter what

 

No matter what

 

Smoking does nothing for you.

 

You would not put your mouth on the tail pipe of your car, right? No great urge to do that. Right? No matter what...you would never dream of doing that in a million years.

 

No matter what

 

When we romance the cigarette...we romance only one. The truth is..that's a fallacy. There is no such thing as one. That "one" cigarette is attached to thousands more and there is no end in site until you are dead. That's the reality. That's the truth.

 

Not one puff.

 

No matter what.

 

Go girl!!!!!!

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... Newbie

...

Posted
Posted

Holski !!!!  Nooooooo !!!!

 

Why ??? 

 

oh, I know why.  I just hate that you did it. 

 

But I am glad your back.  I know when you relapsed the last time, you left for a while and I thought about you often.  I am so glad that your back immediately. 

 

Head knowledge and heart knowledge.  I am fighting that every day.  I KNOW mentally that smoking kills, that it does absolutely nothing for you.  But my heart says no, it comforts you, relaxes you, it's fun.  Getting those 2 to agree is a task.  And gets exhausting.  But somewhere down the line, they WILL agree.  There are too many people that are comfortable in their skin as non smokers to not believe that. 

 

Please get back on this train.  We got the conductor holding it up for you.......  Your so worth it. 

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ArmedNAruba Newbie

ArmedNAruba

Posted
Posted

Holski...

 

 You were THE FIRST to respond to MY first post (on Day 3)...and I wont forget that......

 

 

 

 

"Posted 25 October 2013 - 02:46 PM

Hi,

Welcome to the board, Aruba!

You know, I thought work would be hard too but it is probably the easiest place for me to not smoke after all.

Stay close to the board and read all about this addiction. There is so much great information here. 

You will be OK!

Just don't smoke, no matter what!!

 

smile.png

 

Oh, and don't forget to read the Newbie Package!"

 

 

 

 

 

I associate you with my quit and will totally support you with your next one. Don't wait Holski. Do it today. You are so worth it.

 

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SueBeDoo Newbie

SueBeDoo

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear that but well done for coming back and starting again.

Get stuck back in, don't shorten your life anymore, you are worth soo much more xxx

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