October 25, 20187 yr Author @notsmokinjo ahhhwwww, that kanga! Think you can send me one as a playmate for my kitty? Or would that be illegal? It was so strange, I really was 14, 15 again for a brief moment. I saw myself acting all tough girl, anti-everything, 'I don't need anyone!'. But I did need someone and I wasn't tough, back then. It helped to write it down, it certainly got me drying my tears, take a deep breath and move along. I like what your dear Grandma said to you and I took her advise and shelved it for after work. So, anyway, @c9jane29 the fashion you describe is indeed to cry over! I wore my aunts 70's pants and dyed my hair henna red, for over ten years. Heavy black eyeshade, oh how cool and untouchable I was! I promiss you I won't dwell. Got some happy crying to do, you are right! And by the way, talkin about fashion...and talkin about cryin.... do you think this guy implies he's Megadongs nephew? Edited October 26, 20187 yr by MLMR
October 25, 20187 yr 5 minutes ago, MLMR said: I saw myself acting all tough girl, anti-everything, 'I don't need anyone!'. But I did need someone and I wasn't tough, back then. You and me both. I'm not sure about roos in Holland might be a bit chilly for the poor little bugger. They do play well with cats though.
October 25, 20187 yr 5 minutes ago, MLMR said: do you think this guy implies he's Megadongs nephew? ? it either that, or he needs his diaper changed ASAP! ?
October 25, 20187 yr OK teen fashion for me... depended on my mood but basically one of 3 looks... jeans and a surf brand t-shirt with blunny boots.... jeans an band t-shirt under an open flannelette t-shirt with the thick black eyeliner etc and either black dessert boot rollers or docs... or some remnant from the hippy era to go with my hair in two plaits past my waist (until I chopped it boy short cos I had a fight with my dad and that's what you do) and a selection of crazy home made crochet hats and whatever shoes I felt like.... no wait I rocked a 4th look... jeans, white t-shirt, blazer.... I would just pick the look to match my mood... I too hate photos from my teen years... and there are very few.
October 25, 20187 yr Memories come up in real life, apart from smoking or not smoking. Many memories were masked with smoke and may be more accessible and vivid now but, you know how to look at them, accept them and release them if they are not useful to you. Crying is a lubricant to letting them go, washing them away. Our eyes need watering, they need tears to grow. I was the 'super hip all grown up child chick' hanging out with pimps and whores, musicians and drug dealers, thugs and mugs. Of course I had a smoke dangling from my lips or behind my ear. In such a hurry to grow up, it is a miracle I survived. The outfits were v. cool though. Micro minis and Courreges' go-go boots or granny dresses and sandals or Levi 501's, chukka boots and a see through top.
October 25, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, Sazerac said: Many memories were masked with smoke and may be more accessible and vivid now but, you know how to look at them, accept them and release them if they are not useful to you. Crying is a lubricant to letting them go, washing them away. Our eyes need watering, they need tears to grow. @Sazerac you have such a marvelous way with words. I love how this sounds. Am adding it to the many other pieces of wonderful advice you have posted. They have become my special start the day quotes on my fridge.
October 25, 20187 yr You sound like you're doing better already MLMR, I hope you have a nice rest of your day. You're doing awesome
October 26, 20187 yr Author Why did you quit smoking? ● less anxiety ● to become more comfortable and ok with who I am • physical health How long did you smoke? Started at 14, quit around 28, started again three years later. After that, I entered a relapse cycle. Horrible. Smoked for a total of +/- 18 years. How long have you been smoke-free? 65 days How long do you think it should take to be free of nicotine addiction? About a year working to be "safe", concious maintenance for the rest of my life. If you go back to smoking, will you want to quit again? YES How long will it be before you do? Weeks...months...years? When illness strikes? I honestly have no idea. Will quitting be any easier next time around? I don't know. How do you think smoking will benefit you? Not at all. Is it worth giving up what you've worked so hard to do? No.
October 27, 20187 yr I know you need some time to work on your chopstick skills... Looking good!! Hugs for you!!
October 27, 20187 yr Author 4 hours ago, c9jane29 said: I know you need some time to work on your chopstick skills... Looking good!! Hugs for you!! Thanks. I can use them. Junkie thinking all over the place. Stick is actually avoiding me (he's afraid I'll kill him if I catch him vaping).? Edited October 27, 20187 yr by MLMR
October 27, 20187 yr Ooooh? stick that vape where it looks like the train is coming out of the tunnel every time he farts... Mine quit smoking 2 weeks ago and got a molar pulled last week so I have another titty baby in the house at the moment...good thing I have lots of practice ?
October 28, 20187 yr Author @c9jane29 thats hero material. For both of you ? So cool he's coming right after you though! Lucky man, got an expert with him.
October 28, 20187 yr 5 hours ago, c9jane29 said: Ooooh? stick that vape where it looks like the train is coming out of the tunnel every time he farts... Mine quit smoking 2 weeks ago and got a molar pulled last week so I have another titty baby in the house at the moment...good thing I have lots of practice ? I KNOW what the real issue is here ................................
October 28, 20187 yr Hey MLMR, hopefully when your stick realizes you're done with smoking, he'll soon follow
October 28, 20187 yr 1 hour ago, reciprocity said: I KNOW what the real issue is here Ahh, luckly he was raised by 4 women so he came well trained 1 hour ago, MLMR said: Lucky man, got an expert with him. Ha! If you think I'm an annoying (sometimes...) quit friend over the internet...just imagine if I lived with you? I'm good for rewards tho? Edited October 28, 20187 yr by c9jane29 Edit because I be bad at english
October 28, 20187 yr Author @jillar that'd be great. He cut back on vaping already, at least when I'm around.. but it's (unfortunately ) up to him to make the decision. He is very proud that I quit again (yesterday he kept saying how happy he was about my improved breathing, he said he notices I'm more 'peaceful' in a certain way, becoming less agitated and much more aware in the moment). Let's hope the Stick will have his own awakening some day and give up on that grown man's dummy
October 28, 20187 yr Author 5 minutes ago, c9jane29 said: Ha! You just think I'm an annoying quit friend over the internet...just imagine if I lived with you? I'm good for rewards tho? I think your place is stacked with hidden glitter traps!
October 28, 20187 yr 7 minutes ago, MLMR said: I think your place is stacked with hidden glitter traps! Shhhh! He'll hear you? ?
October 29, 20187 yr Author Yesterday I changed my ever present sneakers for heels. I don't know how to properly walk them, never did so. But how hard can it be, compared to quitting? (oh and, seriously, this is huge. Sneakers = safe. Heels = scary, grown up and challenging when you have funny walk like me). Rockin' it anyway!
October 29, 20187 yr Stand very straight, tits first, chin up and walk purposefully, like an empress. You changed the name of this town !
October 30, 20187 yr 21 hours ago, MLMR said: Yesterday I changed my ever present sneakers for heels. Sooo...how did it go? Did you sexy lady all day? No twisted ankles? Only have one boot now because you broke the other off in someone's as....nose?? I'm proud of you for going out of your comfort zone...I hope you have a fantastically self-confident kind of day!
October 30, 20187 yr Author 35 minutes ago, c9jane29 said: Sooo...how did it go? Did you sexy lady all day? Haha, nooo! These heels are not suitable for my job ... or, should I say, my job is not suitable for my heels? My day was far from fantastically-self-confident-kinda! ? It was sort of mediocre, scary at one point, awkard at another, mindblowingly boring here and there, then I went home and a sad song was on the radio and I cried for like the 50th time in one month. Now what? ? Edited October 30, 20187 yr by MLMR Used the same word twice and I hate that
October 30, 20187 yr You'll get there MLMR, just let the tears come because they will soon be replaced with laughter and smiles
October 30, 20187 yr 13 minutes ago, MLMR said: It was sort of mediocre, scary at one point, awkard at another, mindblowingly boring here and there, then I went home and a sad song was on the radio and I cried for like the 50th time in one month. Now what? ? Sounds like you tried...? Now, you lay on the couch and eat chocolate...right??
October 30, 20187 yr Thinking of you. Your emotions will mellow out a bit with time. I know it may be difficult to believe us but, we do not lie. Get a nice cool gel pack for your eyes and keep it handy in your freezer.
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