MLMR, I wish nothing but happiness for you and know you have it in you to overcome any obstacles that stand in your way 🤗

MLMR, if you truly believe you have an alcohol problem, perhaps, join AA. I was very active in AA some years back. Like you, I was heavily into marijuana, and drank a lot, too. Now, I don’t do either, save an occasional glass of wine, or a beer, here and there. Now, I am hoping to lessen my use of benzos for anxiety, by finding alternate ways to de-stress.

Edited August 7, 20215 yr by Katgirl

ML....

If your drinking worries you ....then it's time to think ,do you need it in your life ....

You quit smoking ...your a strong lady ....your journey continues.......

Your future is in your hands Sweetheart....

Edited August 8, 20215 yr by Doreensfree

You're a brave lady @MLMR to face up to issues and tackle them.  Even though it feels like a setback, remember the darkest hour comes before dawn.  I'm sure you'll come out of it stronger and happier.

You seem to have an impressive ability to tackle problems head on and figure out what's best for you going forward.  If you determine that your life will improve if you set alcohol aside then you will make that happen.  Your strength and insistence on being honest with yourself will help get you where you want to be.  

Thanks ladies, I dont think the AA really is my thing...

Today was better. Went to the beach and walked in the storm. I'm actually a bit relieved since writing these words, 'alcohol' and 'problem' down yesterday. I don't want to work my way around it anymore. It's also... completely new to say it out loud. I just never fully realised. Addict lies?

One thing is for sure: Im having the best sleep in years. Even after a worriesome night I still feel more rested than before.

I just saw a video from a guy who, after one year sober, felt like he had the brain of a super smart alien instead of his own grey mass. Where can I sign? The years of mental health batteling sure have their effect on my memory and ability to focus, so any improvement is more than welcome.
 

“Mental health battling” ……interesting phrase. Been fighting that battle much of my life. It’s like battling your own thoughts, constantly. From the things you write about yourself, I feel we have a lot in common. So, take heart. You have a kindred spirit in Northern California.

Had the talk with a close friend yesterday. 
Him: I really admire you for eliminating the pleasure of drinking. I wouldn’t want to do it.

Me: … I think the point here is that I’m adding something to life, not eliminating?

 

It was a bit of tightrope walking at first. He really did his best to be understanding but clearly felt awkward when I explained how I’m toying with the idea of making this a year long journey. And I had a bit of a tough time staying true to myself while at the same time my mind was racing about the effects on friendships. 
 

(I remember feeling uncomfortable myself, back when I still smoked a pack a day, whenever someone close told me they’d quit smoking. A strange mixture of jealousy, admiration and a vague anticipation for failure. That’s what addiction does. Pretty ugly, really.)

 

Edited August 11, 20215 yr by MLMR

12 hours ago, MLMR said:

Had the talk with a close friend yesterday. 
Him: I really admire you for eliminating the pleasure of drinking. I wouldn’t want to do it.

Me: … I think the point here is that I’m adding something to life, not eliminating?

 

It was a bit of tightrope walking at first. He really did his best to be understanding but clearly felt awkward when I explained how I’m toying with the idea of making this a year long journey. And I had a bit of a tough time staying true to myself while at the same time my mind was racing about the effects on friendships. 

 

I've got some good friends.  Friends I love like family even.  That being said, I never really felt like I owed them an explanation for the choices I make in life.

 

I'm not looking to burn any bridges, but once I set a course I get really locked in.  Haven't lost a true friend yet for following my own path.

 

Set your own course.  The folks that really matter will either take the ride with you or, at the very least, wish you well on your journey.

^^ Well said @Boo ^^

I agree, your goals have everything to do with you and nothing else - it truly is immaterial if someone else chooses different goals for themselves.  If the friendship is strong, it will survive and the friend will hopefully support your goals.  

 

Could be wrong but it feels like things are starting to look up for you perhaps.

Sunday morning. After an initial crappy start of my weekend, I’m having my “hersenspinsels” back in the right order again. 
 

I joined a quit-drinking forum. Had to take a few deep breaths, then decided it was the right thing to do.
 

I’m dealing with botteled up feelings and events that I’d forgotten about are popping up out of nowhere. A clearer mind means more room to proces and old demons seem to feel invited by that, ha! Be welcome. Been there, done that, should be able to handle. Must continue deep breathing, I’ll be fine. 

 

What I absolutely love is waking up without a hangover!
 

On topic: thank god I’m very strong in quitting smoking again. Relapsing seems ages ago, but it isn’t. Feel like I made a narrow escape (not sure if this is the right expression). Not going to f that up ever again. 💪

 

I admire you, takes a strong person to to accept they have a problem, even a stronger one to try to do better.  I think we are all strong here. Addiction does not make you a bad person, we all struggle with different issues. If you choose not to drink anymore that is good, but if you need to once in awhile don't feel bad about yourself.  Remember we are all human and fight to do our best. I have also cut back on alcohol but if I need a drink to calm myself I don't feel bad. My quitting smoking is my focus right now.

K

Hey @Kris, I am sure your intentions are good. I think owning up to ones problem is both strong and vulnerable and, like you, I admire people who travel the road less traveled.

 

However, I don’t agree with your advice ‘If you choose not to drink anymore that is good, but if you need to once in awhile don't feel bad about yourself.” I don’t need alcohol, though I’ve taught my brain something else over the years. Humans don’t need alcohol. Besides... ‘once in a while’ hasn’t existed for me ever since I started drinking. That’s my reason to quit in the first place. 
 

 

 

 

 

sorry ml, did not mean to offend, just wanted to support,  like the quit smoking thing. I am new to it but doing well, I just wanted you to know that I (or anyone here) would not judge you for anything. I feel that is a safe to fall in all the battles we fight.  Please forgive me if I caused you any pain, that was not my intention at all.

K

1 hour ago, Kris said:

sorry ml, did not mean to offend, just wanted to support,  like the quit smoking thing. I am new to it but doing well, I just wanted you to know that I (or anyone here) would not judge you for anything. I feel that is a safe to fall in all the battles we fight.  Please forgive me if I caused you any pain, that was not my intention at all.

K

No offense taken, Kris. I know that you meant it in a supportive way and thanks for that.
 

I’m glad to hear that you are doing well with your quit and that you experience this as a safe place!

Its been 3 months since I relapsed and decided I needed to quit smoking right away that sunday. It took me a good two to three weeks to get back on track mentally, but Im happy to say that Ive been firm in my decision ever since. Most days its like it never happened, but I know better and I make sure I wont forget.

Also: 70 days without drinking alcohol. Heading towards the three months milestone. Its not always easy, but: worth the effort, every step of the way. The best experience so far is having happy childhood memories pop up. A party for my brain and a warm bath for my heart.

You're doing awesome @MLMR with both the smoking and drinking  .

Keep up the good work. I, too have been abstaining from alcohol. I have over a dozen bottles of wine around, and more wine to be delivered, but just have no desire to drink. For me, I don’t like to lose control of my faculties. Also, alcohol puts on the weight. We appear to be on the same time line, though I can’t remember how long since my last drink. 

6 hours ago, d2e8b8 said:

You're doing awesome @MLMR with both the smoking and drinking  .

 

Thanks 🙂

 

6 hours ago, Katgirl said:

Keep up the good work. I, too have been abstaining from alcohol. I have over a dozen bottles of wine around, and more wine to be delivered, but just have no desire to drink. For me, I don’t like to lose control of my faculties. Also, alcohol puts on the weight. We appear to be on the same time line, though I can’t remember how long since my last drink. 

I’ve stashed it all downstairs, where I hardly go. Its good not to have it in my sight. Last weekend I was at a brewery, I still love to look around and see which  specialties they have. But: no heavy legs after our visit, no hangover the next day and more energy. There’s enough going on in my life as it is already, I need a clear head and a free mind!

 

10 hours ago, MLMR said:

The best experience so far is having happy childhood memories pop up. A party for my brain and a warm bath for my heart.

Love this MLMR 🤗

Proud of you ML....your in the driving seat 😁

Yay, week 11 of Project Sober in the pocket.

 

I feel like I'm wrapping up the past two years. Two years dominated by ending a longterm but unhealthy relationship, processing a horrible violence incident at my work which cost one of my coworkers his life and left another severely injured and my team upside  down, working my way towards burnout and back. And ofcourse there was Corona. The painful disunity amongst friends and family.. It makes me so, so sad. 

 

But also: all the more gratefull for the road I'm taking right now and the people there with me. The lessons I've learned from quitting smoking are immensly valuable and usefull at this point. I feel  connected to the world around me and I see and hear things that I completely missed before. Depression and mental clouds made me selfcentered, for years. In a continous survival modus. But there's a world and I am a tiny part of it. 🌍 

 

Better make it worthwile!

@MLMR, It sounds like you’ve been through a lot! Sorry to hear what happened at your workplace. No one should ever experience that. Breakups are hard. Covid was, and still is anxiety provoking, for those of us who are normal. (more or less😊) It’s good to be with like minded people, who decided to improve their lives, by quitting smoking. It’s a journey for us all, with ups and downs. Let us all continue on this road together.

@Katgirl ... but what is 'normal' anyway? 😁