I woke up, thinking of smoking. And I’m annoyed with myself, for caving in. What a circus! Bwegghh.

 

Youv,e seen the trap now ML...you can see smoking for what it is ...a circus...your right ....

Keep this thought ...😀

Edited June 10, 20215 yr by Doreensfree

Day 3 went smoothly, untill just now. It overflows me bigtime. And writing  here seems so stupid, after all this time 😞 😢

 

40 minutes ago, MLMR said:

And writing  here seems so stupid, after all this time

 

Don't ever feel that way MLMR, imo your thread has become that much more important to share as you again tackle quitting after a brief relapse.🤗

Sorry you're having a bad night, use it to strengthen your resolve. I hope tomorrow is better for you 🤗

MLMR,

Don’t feel dumb! I had 6 years and lost that quit over a bad romance. How stupid is that!? Then I smoked for another 6 years. Now I have a 1 month quit going, which I hope and believe will be a final quit. You relapsed, but got right back on the quit train. You are a good example of how insidious this addiction is.  I admire your honesty and determination to fight this battle. Stick close to us, and never apologize for posting. We all want to hear what you are feeling. 

Edited June 10, 20215 yr by Katgirl

Thanks @jillar. You are probably the sweetest and most forgiving person on the train.. always making people feel welcome. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer. 
 

I figured out what was behind the craving.. it doesn’t make it go away, but somewhat more bearable. I’m trying to navigate this again. It really is true -  Every quit is different
 

 

Edited June 10, 20215 yr by MLMR

21 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

MLMR,

Don’t feel dumb! I had 6 years and lost that quit over a bad romance. How stupid is that!? 

Yuck. 

 

Did you figure out how that took place, or has it been too long ago? Do you remember this quit well and what did it bring you? What was THE BEST, about quitting?

22 minutes ago, MLMR said:

Yuck. 

 

Did you figure out how that took place, or has it been too long ago? Do you remember this quit well and what did it bring you? What was THE BEST, about quitting?

Stress, anxiety, and sadness led to me turning to cigarettes for comfort, after a bad break up. Those 6 years that I had not smoked were great. I got into really good physical shape, was a long distance runner,  even won awards for running. I felt happier and healthier than I had in years. I Am aiming at those same goals now, with this quit. I am older now, so it will be harder, but still worth it. It’s never too late to improve yourself.

Day 3 went smoothly, untill just now. It overflows me bigtime. And writing  here seems so stupid, after all this time 

Don't beat yourself up ML....

What would be stupid is ....carrying on smoking ....posting and writing here will strengthen your quit ...😀

Day 4

 

There is no legitimate reason to relapse

 

Video explains how that under any conditions, even those of catastrophic stress or loss, there is no real legitimate reason to take a cigarette. Following are links to several articles and videos that extensively explores this principle.

Related commentaries from the Freedom from Nicotine board

 

We are a board dedicated to one simple premise. There is no legitimate reason to relapse. Some people may not like this premise. Some may feel that if the most tragic thing in the world imaginable were to occur, smoking would be understandable. Well, if a person relapses under such a tragedy would the rest of us understand. In fact, yes we would. We would understand perfectly what happened.

We would understand that the person who just went through a horrible life tragedy has just compounded his or her problem by thinking that somehow relapsing to a drug that will slowly cripple him or her, cost him or her a small fortune over the rest of his or her life, will make him or her a more nervous and sadder person for the rest of his or her life, and will likely eventually kill him or her. Do we feel bad for the person for the original problem? Sure we do. But the fact is every person on this board has past, present and will face future life tragedies.

But every person on this board has to recognize that no matter what the stress, smoking cannot solve it. All smoking will do is cause another problem, in many ways a bigger problem than the problem that led the ex-smoker to take relapse. While it may sound heartless to say a bigger problem, if the problem were a loss of a child, spouse, parent, sibling, or even a close friend, the bottom line is smoking can cause the death of you.

That is going to leave your parents, wife, husband, siblings, friends and everyone else you know facing the same feelings of loss and disruption. Do you want any of these people to relapse to drug addiction when you die? If on your death bed would you pass out cigarettes to your children who are ex-smokers, heroin to your siblings who are a recovering addicts, bottles of booze to your parents who have been successfully off drinking for decades? Would you say to them, "Well I am going now, you may all want to consider taking this stuff, I understand how upset you must be."

There are only two legitimate reason to relapse. One, you want to go back to smoking until it cripples then kills you or two, you enjoy withdrawal so much you never want it to end. If this is the case just take one puff every third day, withdrawal will last forever.

Any other reason you take it is not legitimate, and thinking that it is will only undercut your ability to ever quit and stay off for over life other things will happen. If one tragedy is a good reason, so will the next one be. To have to explain this to each and every members specific past life tragedy would tie the board up. It would in fact become a diversion to what everyone is here for. To focus on not smoking today.

We must remember the past, and hopefully learn from it. But the lesson had better be the real understanding that a past relapse was a mistake, a big mistake, one that if not undone now in itself will be a tragedy. If the lesson is anything else, that relapse was the biggest mistake you ever made in your life, one that in fact one day will cost you your life. Don't get caught up in the mind games of a legitimate relapse. Instead, learn from the past and prepare yourself to face the future, no matter what it holds with your full commitment and resolve to never take another puff!

10 hours ago, Katgirl said:

I felt happier and healthier than I had in years. 

 

 

🙂 Me too. I was going to write some more, but I was just thinking, it really is simple as that. I felt happier and healthier, just like you. I’m glad I’m back on track. 

 

Will you start running again?

More Joel Spitzer today.

The lucky ones get hooked

 

Is relapsing a good learning experience?

(Spoiler: there's no reason to learn from your own mistake)

 

 

 

Will you start running again?
 

I don’t know about running. I am 70, now. I have started by doing 40 minutes of power walking in 2 20 minute sessions daily. It’s a start. Endorphins kick in at about 10 minutes. This is important, for me, since I suffer with a chronic anxiety disorder. I am not ruling out running again. I actually have a dear friend, who, at my age, still runs competitively, on the world stage, and has, for many years. Another friend, also my age, swam the English Channel, a few years ago. They inspire me. Naturally, both are non smokers. I want to be like them. 

 

@Katgirl, hey don't give up on running, just be sensible about it and build it up slowly.

 

You know, my inspiration was a lady who was probably 90 or thereabouts.  I was on my way to work on the bike (did not run those days).  She was running towards me, very slow no doubt, but her expression was as though she was doing high intensity running.  I was amazed, slowed down, wished her good morning and she gave such a pretty smile, wished me back and continued running.

 

I cannot tell you how inspiring that was.  I was just thinking about quitting smoking and started running - I actually started before I quit and that was agonizing.  However, when I did quit and was able to slowly start increasing the distance (I'm still slow), it was very rewarding.

 

Don't let your age stop you from doing something you enjoy - just be sensible.  Start slow, stretch, build up slow, listen to the body.

 

Day 5

 

And: how about past “successful” quits?

 

 

10 minutes ago, MLMR said:

Day 5

 

And: how about past “successful” quits?

 

 

If they are in the past, they weren’t successful! 😳

@Katgirl that sure is a start and I admire you for doing it. Practice, repetition, rituals all seem to be important when dealing with anxiety. Building in such routines will definitely do you good, besides the endorphine kick you already mention. 
 

Thanks for the inspiration, Kat!

6 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

If they are in the past, they weren’t successful! 😳

That's exactly what this video is about. 

Edited June 12, 20215 yr by MLMR

I just had a smokey thought. 'What if... '

 

Nope. Bringing the thought to the surface now, so its been seen. I figured that way I can go through, instead of around. 

 

And then: continue with my day. 

 

Sun and bbq! 

What if you use the S.O.S. Forum next time you have a “Smokey thought”. And don’t call it that! Too cutesy! This is serious business….

Now I know what happens to the crust if you don't eat them :).

 

Kill those smokey thoughts, beat them up so they dare not come close to you again.

Day 6

 

I don’t have a choice, I have to quit smoking

Video about true choice and understanding what the options are now.
 

11 hours ago, Katgirl said:

What if you use the S.O.S. Forum next time you have a “Smokey thought”. And don’t call it that! Too cutesy! This is serious business….

It really was just a thought, not an SOS worthy craving. It was not hard to resist. But having a bunch of them over the course of a few months and not paying attention to them, probably contributed a great deal to me lighting up. 

 

I don’t take quitting lightly at all. I’m trying to navigate again. Looking into thoughts and moments where I think of cigarettes, to have a better understanding of what’s going on and to solidify my decision. I concider myself very lucky with an easy first week.. It could have been different. But when I think of smoking, I want to know what it’s about (often a lack of connection, with myself or others). At that point I can let go of the thought and stop paying attention to it (thanks @Boo) and occupy myself with the thing that really wants attention. 

Or, eat ice cream. 🍦

Edited June 13, 20215 yr by MLMR

Do you have an exercise program? Might be more beneficial than ice cream….

8 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

Do you have an exercise program? Might be more beneficial than ice cream….

Thanks for your concern, but no. At this point ice cream is very beneficial to me. 👌

Your nearly into a week ML....

Your doing great ....A little Ice cream treat sounds ok to me ..

Maybe you could have both 👍

Ladies! what's with the exercise subject all of a sudden, am I missing something? 

Ice cream is exercise - you have to curl your biceps to bring it to your mouth.  If you lick the bowl then you're also exercising the tongue which no one exercises and it could be very useful in certain activities requiring a strong tongue.