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Redneck or Genius.....

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You know your a redneck when your porch collapses and nine of your best dogs are killed.

 

told to me on a bad day at work by coworker, I laughed until I cried. You won't get this unless you are a redneck from the deep south in the US.

K

  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Gday

Tenneessse

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. Onced and Twiced are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.

10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.

20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.

21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)

22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

23. You know what a hissy fit is..

24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.

AND one more:

27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!

8 hours ago, Cbdave said:

Gday

Tenneessse

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

 

I ran up on a possum a couple of months ago that was standing in the road.  Possum turned on a dime and ran back into the ditch; this particular possum had moves like Barry Sanders.  I think their survival instinct is finally kicking in.

 

8 hours ago, Cbdave said:

8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.

 

We had a discussion about this on the board a while back.  Actually, not so much a discussion as me saying: "fried okra is delicious."  The other respondents were kind but basically replied: no thanks Boo.

 

8 hours ago, Cbdave said:

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

 

If you happen to find yourself in my neck of the woods next May, make sure to visit the Tennessee Strawberry Festival.  All the strawberries one could want plus live music, a car show, and a parade...good, clean, all-American fun.

 

8 hours ago, Cbdave said:

25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

 

I learned to drive an old Ford F100 when I was twelve years-old.  When there's work to be done on the farm, there's no time for nitpicking over small details like "he's not old enough" or "he doesn't have a license."

  • Author
9 hours ago, Cbdave said:

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something

I still after all these years say this AND I have a few California friends who say it now too 😂😂

 

 

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