Kdad, I will try not to ramble b/c I have a lot to say on this subject.
My husband bugged me for years to quit.
(he does understand, he quit 41 years ago)
I was a serial quitter with some substantial quits under my belt, but I simply waited for "the Big Excuse" and would happily go back to smoking.
The "Big Excuse" will always arrive because life throws us some really hard stuff from time to time.
I quit working a few years before retirement age for reasons I won't bore you with.
Not having my little bitty income made a big difference, and I started to feel super guilty for wasting money on cigarettes.
I'm gonna do it!! It will make him so happy!!
He said he will support me every step of the way.
He said he will take whatever evilness I dish out.
And boy did I. I was a whiny baby, a she-devil, I had temper tantrums, panic attacks I spewed nonsensical mumbojumbo...I was horrid.
He would just hug me and tell me how great I was doing.....I wanted to kill him.
He was the reason this Bi*ch took over my mind and body!!!
I fought this quit every second of every day.
But I belonged to a quit smoking forum and soaked up the love and support, I read and read and read (I knew education was the key), I watched videos, I posted often, I pledged NOPE.
(it took me a few weeks to start pledging, but when I was ready it really meant a lot to me)
He told me when I reached 6 months I could smoke if I wanted to...when I hit 6 months I said okay I'm going to get some cigarettes now.
He talked me into waiting a year.
Same deal...got up early and declared Time To Go Get Those Cigarettes!
He said Crap didn't know you were gonna be this tough!
Talked me into hanging on....uggggg
I kept fighting because I knew I would hate myself for giving up on another quit.
I made the choice to make it so hard and now I realize how ridiculous I was for _________(I'm not going to say for how long, I don't want to discourage anyone)
At some point I turned the corner, I started to see the lies for lies, I started believing the truths.
My education was finally paying off.
Now, even though I still think of smoking more than I should, it's a fleeting thought.
I remain vigilant. I'm much smarter now. I am surprised of the strength that was within me.
I do believe this is my sticky quit.
I don't know if I could do it again....so I think I won't.
KTQ