Did you realize that if

you sit on the toilet at11.59 pm

and the clock strikes midnight

its the same shit different day

 

YOU ARE SO FUNNY!! I don't think I will be able to go to the bathroom without fits of laughter, ok when you live alone but those who have partners give them a "HEADS UP" you don't want them to think you have lost your mind.

K

14 minutes ago, Kris said:

YOU ARE SO FUNNY!! I don't think I will be able to go to the bathroom without fits of laughter, ok when you live alone but those who have partners give them a "HEADS UP" you don't want them to think you have lost your mind.

@Kris I got this off Facebook but it made me laugh,so I shared it lol

LOL that is good one, my husband had many Ford F series after we married. I think the white Firebird with flames sealed the deal~!

K

If a woman is

bad at parking

It's only because

she is constantly

lied to about what

8 inches is

14 hours ago, jillar said:

 

I used to date a girl that never learned to swim.

 

I asked her: "Are you afraid of the water?"

She answered: "No."

I said: " You should be, you can't swim."

 

She called me a "smartass."

Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a Small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol!

Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with just a small pistol, against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages discussing a property settlement and other divorce issues with my soon-to-be ex-husband, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging right for me with its' large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive."

"If I had not had my little Ruger .22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband’s kneecap was all it took. The 'gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees and retirement plan distributions was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus."

My neighbors complained

about me groaning to loud

having sex in the morning

if they only knew I'm just

to put my socks on