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Stupid Things Smokers Say

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Be it what you would say as a smoker or what you now hear as a non-smoker...or both :)

 

So every day, several times a day somebody behind me at work says..."I'm going out for some fresh air" and comes back smelling like a dirty ashtray.  Um excuse me pal, but what part of that cigarette provides you with fresh air?  Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds so ridiculous.

 

Things I said:  I enjoy smoking.  If I die early, at least I enjoyed myself.  WTF planet was I on??!  Not Earth apparently, 

At age 25: Quit? I like smoking. Why would I quit?

 

At age 50: Quit? Yea I shoulda quit years ago, I oughta quit but I can't.

 

At age:70: That damn chemo, I'm sicker than a dog. I need a smoke, now! Here, hold my oxygen bottle.

Before:

 

"My allergies are really acting up..." while hacking away with obvious smoker's cough...

 

Now:

 

"Gee, I guess my allergies are gone..."   duh, yeah, because you removed 7,000 chemicals...

  • 2 years later...

Old thread, but good on to bump back up, Doreen.....

 

 

One of my dumb "comments" was......

 

"No one knows I smoke"

 

Anyone with a sense of smell knew I smoked! I may not have smoked when they were around me, but I know now how bad I must have smelled. The only person I think was really fooled, was ME!

One of my dumb "comments" was......

 

"No one knows I smoke"

 

 

  

 

Ha ha.  Yes!  I always thought I was a secret smoker, but people must have known!

"Theres so many things that kill you why not smoke/youre going to die someday" - every smoker i know.

"Theres so many things that kill you why not smoke/youre going to die someday" - every smoker i know.

There might be a situation where I wouldn't care if I smoked.  Finding myself in a Pals regiment on the eve of the Battle of the Somme comes to mind.

Me - "I have to smoke. It keeps me calm and stable."  :huh:

 

Me - "It's my ONLY vice. Everyone has a vice!"  :rolleyes:

 

Me - "I will quit tomorrow...." <--said this for YEARS.  <_<

"Well....ya got to die from something"

 

So stupid.

 

Lol

Didn't realize stewey just said that same thing. Lol

 

It's a classic smoker line

The past me..."But it's the only vice I have.  I need to do something, right?"

"Sarge cam quit any time he wants - he just doesn't want... right now ..."

 

LOL

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

"I could get hit by a bus"

 

This is statistically highly improbable (I mean how many f#*king people got hit by a bus in the last century), however dying of a smoking related disease has a chance of at least 66% according to recent figures. These figures don't include the toll of pain and suffering of the smoking related problems you don't die from and the potential disability.

''I'm gonna head out for a lung snack"

 

Me - a million times

 

 

Bahaha Jim. That is so messed up. I swear I will give you a lung PUNCH if you ever smoke (or say THAT again).

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