I relapsed.

[Pilgrim]

Hello friends,

 

I don't really know what to say... I gave in to temptation. Life is just really ******* hard right now. I know from past experiences that adding a nicotine addiction on top of everything else is ultimately another burden to deal with, but in the moment it feels like a way to alleviate some stress.

I bought a pack today and told myself I'll smoke this pack and when it's finished I'll quit again. I hope I have the strength to do so when the time comes.

Four months quit and now I'll have to start over once again.

[catlover]

Oh No so sorry to hear you caved in and bought a pack, yes 4 months was brilliant. You know already that they won’t help whatever is making your life crappy these days, and that you will want to quit again, if not after this pack, then very soon in the near future.

I really hope you choose sooner rather than later. We are here for you .

[Doreensfree]

Aww Nooo 

I am sad to read this …

You know it’s just the nature of this addiction , that fools you into thinking it helps us through a crappy time 

The SOS is there for a reason , to help you through the rough time , 

Smoking doesn’t help you in any way 

Your seat is still here

 

[Minnie Mouse]

Is 4 months of smobriety a pattern for you?  Just wondering because if it is it will keep being a major milestone hiccup for you until you overcome that time period of struggle. I'm sure you have heard & know all the things I could say & what you are probably already saying to yourself.  The best helping hand for each of us is always the one attached to our own arm first.  Hopefully you will choose to begin again sooner rather than later (destroy the rest of the pack!). 

 

Read/re-read Nicotine Addiction 101 at whyquit.com.  It certainly helped me look at smoking in an entirely different way and was a game changer for me.  Smoking doesn't help us through life stresses it just seems that way until we truly understand our addiction to nicotine.  You can quit and stay quit.  Don't give up.  Begin again.  

Edited August 11 by Minnie Mouse

[QuittingGirl]

Ohh I am so sorry to hear this @Pilgrim  I know life can be hard but cigarettes don't make them better at all.  Please don't finish the pack, throw it away and quit again.  The more you smoke the more addicted you will get and you have to go through the withdrawal symptoms again!  This is my 2nd time quitting and I refuse to go through the withdrawal, it was so horrible.  Please quit again!  You can do it!!  You just have to keep telling yourself that you won't smoke!  When you decide to quit again, we will be here for you!  I really hope you can do it!!

[Cbdave]

Gday

 

If you have just one you will be right back where you started, and where you started was desperately wishing you were where you are right now. - Marvitta

 

Found this out the hard way… and more than once. You’ve got hop back on … now. You know this as well as me. Just one packet stretches into a week the week a month. And the excuse stretch’s on….. 

You’re the difference. You know that you can do this. You can do 3 months and you can do forever. 

 

 

[c9jane29]

Hello @Pilgrim,

Not to beat a dead horse, but you can not white knuckle your way to a successful quit. If you try again, it needs to be a positive thing. Your quit needs to be wanted and loved, cherished above all else; Especially the first year. 

We do not give babies a cigarette when they are crying...we tend to their needs, figure out the real problem and fix it. It is the same with quitting smoking. 

Next time, just eat some chocolate  

[BKP]

One day, hopefully soon, you’ll come to see that smoking actually adds stress rather than relieves it. 
It’s hard to sit through a movie when you’re thinking “How much longer before I can rush out and light up?” 
It sucks when you can’t enjoy a nice meal out on the town with friends because you’re so fidgety to feed your addiction.

It takes time to get to the point where you don’t obsess about smoking and think of it as a reward, but when you finally clear that hurdle you’ll feel more free and unburdened than you’ve ever felt before.

[Pilgrim]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I hear you! I'll keep you posted and hopefully be back very soon to announce that I've quit once again.

[Doreensfree]

Make it soon P

Dont become a slave to nicotine again …you’re making the tobacco companies rich ..all your hard earned money …they don’t care about you …your health ,your money …

I promised not to give those murdering buggers a penny more …

Be angry with them ..

Come back on the train pronto and snap on that seat belt ..

[Christian99]

8 hours ago, Pilgrim said:

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I hear you! I'll keep you posted and hopefully be back very soon to announce that I've quit once again.

 

Please don't wait, Pilgrim:  it's easy to keep delaying a quit because it doesn't feel like the right time or you don't feel as positive or confident as you think you should be.  In fact, waiting for the ideal time can be a powerful form of denial--by waiting and planning and thinking, you can trick yourself into thinking that you're actually making progress.  You're not.  The only way to make progress is by refraining from smoking, even--perhaps especially--if you're feeling like crap.   

 

Lots of quitters say that having a positive attitude helps or is even essential to a successful quit.  These perspectives have merit and definitely work for many people; however, you don't need that in order to create your lifetime quit.  I was pretty miserable for awhile, ultimately trusting that I could quit myself into certainty, confidence, and happiness.  That path is also available to you. 

 

You can do it, friend, and it will transform your life--

 

Christian99

23 1/2 Years Quit

[DenaliBlues]

We’ve all been there @Pilgrim. Your seat on the train is ready to welcome you back any time. 

 

There is not one thing that smoking makes better. It does not resolve conflict, bring back people we’re mourning, heal broken bodies/souls, or alleviate stress. It does not soothe a troubled mind, make us financially secure, or anything else. The only thing smoking accomplishes is to intensify the bottomless need for our next nicotine fix. A need that we can never gratify. Because 1 is too many and 1000 is not nearly enough. That is the wretched irony of addiction.

 

But it doesn’t need to be that way. Come back soon. You CAN do this! 

[BKP]

Now listen here Pilgrim.

I reckon there are 2 choices here.

The first is to lie on the ground next to a pile of dung and the other is to jump right back on that horse.

 

 

[QuittingGirl]

Don't wait @Pilgrim you are only prolonging it and waiting a day or two isn't going to make it easier.  We all know what you are going through. For a successful quit, I truly believe that YOU must want it and you must be ready, BUT, the longer you wait won't help you get ready.  It's kind of like jumping into a pool....you know that it might be cold at first, but after the initial shock of the cold water, you realize that's it's not so cold as it first was and it's easier to tolerate the water the longer you stay in the pool.  And after a while, you get totally used to it!  Take the jump @Pilgrim, either you want to quit or you don't, and if you do, you need to follow everyone's advice on here.  I won't sugar coat it, and I'm not trying to be harsh or mean, but we know exactly what you are going through and the only way is to JUMP RIGHT IN AND GET RID OF THE CIGARETTES!!! Find something else that helps you when life gets tough!  Unfortunately, life is always going to get stressful at times. Are you going to keep quitting and going back, every time you get stress, not to mention going through horrible withdrawal?  I really hope the answer is NO.  I was SO addicted, you can't imagine how much I was!  I always used to dread going to places where it was difficult for me to find a place to smoke and there were very few places.  I don't know how it's in Germany, but here in NYC, it's very hard to find smoking places.  Good luck, you can do it! 

Edited August 13 by QuittingGirl

[Pilgrim]

My friends,

 

I just extinguished my last cigarette.  Tomorrow I look forward to waking up and greeting the new day as a non-smoker.

[QuittingGirl]

Great news @Pilgrim  Just make sure you get rid of the cigs, lighters, matches, ashtrays and anything that goes along with smoking!!  You have to, otherwise you will be too tempted!  And please, do NOT go out and buy any more packs!!  You can do this!  Good luck!!

[garry mhudson]

Great to hear! 

[Doreensfree]

Great News P

I wish I could transport you to 12 months time so you can feel how wonderful quitting smoking really is , 

But I carnt ,I can only tell you , to be free is the most rewarding feeling and life changing . 
Stay firmly buckled up , ride the roller coaster of a journey , and let the magic happen
 

[Pilgrim]

I failed.

Yesterday started out so promising. I had a good mindset and made it through the morning just fine. Late afternoon it hit me like a ton of bricks... I don't mean to whine like some kind of helpless victim, but believe me when I say, I'm going through some really hard stuff right now. Plagued by these woes, and a sudden, very physical, irresistible craving for nicotine, caused me to cave and buy a disposable vape.

I told myself I would use it at the worst times, sparingly, just to curb the strongest withdrawal symptoms. Since I got it its been very hard not to sneak in a few puffs every hour or so.

In hindsight, maybe it would have helped had I reached out on this platform when the craving became unbearable.... I'll keep that in mind for next time. At the moment, however, I'm an active addict.

[Christian99]

I'll share two core principles/insights that may help you:

 

1.  Abstinence is always possible and always the right choice.  A justifiable reason to smoke does not exist.  

2.  Quitting got easier for me when I decided that I could and would remain quit even if it never got any easier.  

 

You can do it, and you know you must--

 

Christian99

23 1/2 Years Quit

[QuittingGirl]

I'm sure you are going through a lot of stuff, but life is gonna be stressful many times, unfortunately.  Let me ask you something, after you took the vape, did your stress go away?  I'm betting that the answer is no.  You can't even have one puff @Pilgrim, because one will lead to two, will lead to going back full time.  Do they sell the Nicotine patches/lozenges/gum in Germany?  If they do, why don't you try that?  A lot of people had success with it, so you might want to give it a try.

 

You need to come on here every day or at least every other day in the beginning.  You have to stay close to this board.  I truly believe that is what helped me.  I was in a lot of stressful situations back in the beginning of my quit, so I know that it isn't easy, but it can be done!  Throw away the vape, pick yourself up and start all over again. But this time, don't go back!!! 

[Minnie Mouse]

A re-post from one of the most prolific and inspirational writers at the former Quit Net site.  (Quit 4-12-03; Passed 5-20-14).   A favorite so true quote I like, "Those at the top of a mountain didn't just fall there."  They got there one step, one hurdle at a time.   Fill yourself with wisdom (knowledge, understanding, commitment) and then begin again.  It's doable.  You can do it too.  Believe it!

******************************************************************

"The Bumps Are What You Climb On!"
From Titotiger on 11/21/2011 10:08:31 AM

 

A little boy was leading his sister up a mountain path and the way was not too easy. "Why, this isn't a path at all," the little girl complained. "It's all rocky and bumpy." Her brother replied, "Of course it is. The bumps are what you climb on."

Nobody climbs to the top of the mountain without some challenges along the way; a few "bumps" if you will. Everybody has to do a gut check sooner or later and ask themselves, "Do I really want to climb this mountain? Are the bumps along the path boulders that are going to block my way, or will I use them as stepping stones to get to the top?"

You know, lots of people here have climbed the same mountain you're climbing. And many, if not most, like you have found that the path had a lot more bumps than they anticipated. Is that how you feel? And when faced with some really big bumps have you ever entertained the thought of quitting. Have you thought, "Why not take the easy way out and give up?"

The answer is because you wouldn't be here unless you wanted to climb the mountain. This is a mountain you know you have to climb, regardless of the bumps. Others have climbed it and you're going to climb it too. You're determined! Remember, the bumps are what you climb on; they're actually stepping stones to higher ground. Whatever it takes and no matter what keep climbing and I'll.....

See You At The Top
Dave
3,145 Days Quit

 

*******************************************************

 

 

Edited Sunday at 06:43 PM by Minnie Mouse

[QuittingGirl]

Perfect words of wisdom!!!  There was a song from  the Sound of Music called Climb Every Mountain.

 

Climb Every Mountain

Lyrics By Oscar Hammerstein II  Music By Richard Rodgers

 

 

Climb ev’ry mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow ev’ry byway,
Every path you know.

Climb ev’ry mountain,
Ford ev’ry stream,
Follow ev’ry rainbow
Till you find your dream.

A dream that will need all the love you can give
Ev’ry day of your life for as long as you live.

Climb ev’ry mountain,
Ford ev’ry stream,
Follow ev’ry rainbow
Till you find your dream.

 

If you stick with it @Pilgrim, you will find your dream!!!

[Doreensfree]

I agree in maybe trying NRT patches or Gum it just might help you in the beginning .

Im sorry you are going through a rough time 

I can promise you spending years on a oxygen tank can be tough too 

Support comes in all shapes and sizes 

Mine comes in the shape of a good whack with my frying pan

 

[DenaliBlues]

I’m sorry for your hard times @Pilgrim. You nailed it when you named the core issue - addiction.

 

You cannot bargain with an active addiction. “Just this one” or “Only a few puffs because I am so stressed”… they are not real logic. They are rationalizations. Stinkin thinkin.

 

Find your fierce. As @Christian99 said, the only way to stop smoking is… to stop smoking. Whether you’re going cold turkey or using nicotine replacement or medication to quit, it all boils down to the same thing - refusal to smoke.

 

One day you’ll be sick of the cognitive dissonance, the failure, the stink, the wasting money, the inability to breathe right, the chemical enslavement. One day you’ll will step off the merry go round, withdrawal be damned. You’ll defy the beast. And you’ll learn that your addiction has been skewing reality the whole time… it’s not your friend and you won’t die without it. The moment that lightning bolt hits your brain, the moment you refuse to comply… you win. 

 

Time to fight. Time to WIN, @Pilgrim.