June 17, 201412 yr I've been AWOL for a few days, facing many difficulties at the moment, many of you may remember I spoke of my son being bullied a few months back, its still happening to the extent that he no longer feels confident enough to go out to places and clubs that he enjoyed before, as a gang of 5 to 6 boys and girls gang up on him, it culminated last week in one of the boys peeing on his bike and pushing it against him, looking and seeing the pain and confusion on his face is breaking my heart, my older son starts his Mental Health counselling tommorow and I'm preparing myself for that, and my finances are horrendous to the extent I have £0.68 in the bank and I don't get paid until Thursday, my OH just keeps spending and his stock reply is Ohh we will be ok....I would love to declare myself bankrupt but can't as I work in a Bank and would lose my job. The reason for my post and spilling of my feelings is I am desperately close to falling off the quit train, I feel I am back at the start of my quit as the craves as strong and frequent, I am back to deep breathing frequent smoking dreams so sorry for all this but I just need to get it all out I know how to deal with the craves but I am worried of being caught unawares, my last quit of 1 year, thats what happened too many stressfull things going on my brain went on strike with nicotine craves continually.
June 17, 201412 yr Jackie, you know smoking does not relieve stress, it creates it. And you would be even more broke! Sorry you are going through such a horrible time, but smoking will not help! Not One Puff Ever...please don't throw away five months!! And please post this in SOS or smoking discussion forum...I'm afraid people won't see you here. I sometimes go days without coming here!
June 17, 201412 yr Oh Jackie, I'm so sorry all this is happening. There is nothing worse than watching your child suffer and not being able to help. I personally would see about pressing charges against the kid urinating on your sons bike. That has got to be at least vandalism if nothing else. Like Nancy said smoking will not help at all, it will only make things worse. If you need to chat I'm always available.
June 17, 201412 yr Jackie, you've got a lot going on at the moment... Please don't add smoking and beating yourself up over it to the list! Smoking will not make you feel any better - ask anyone who's thrown away a quit before. Please keep us updated and I am here for you! Big hugs
June 17, 201412 yr Just a reminder, Jackie... "Right Jacqueline Anne look at me, no look at me in the eyes, and can you honestly say that you want to light up that cigarette, stop feeling sorry for yourself girl, do you think a smoke will sort how you are feeling, HA hell no, just remember the pride that you felt when you reached 1 week, 1 month, 2 months, the pride in your mum's voice when she keeps telling you well done, your sons your partner, how they all supported you, DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING, now looking me in the eyes tell me do you want to light up..................................No thought not................
June 17, 201412 yr You are not going to smoke. Wont discuss that, as it is already been said... what you are looking for is some relief from life. Take a break. Kid stuff will work itself out (usually) and mom jumping in only helps if your willing to jump in with both feet. Unless you want to make it worse, I would give you two options and both need total commitment. 1- Don't get involved. Let the kids work it out or just tell a parent (if you friends with them) their kid is being an asshole towards your. If you don't know the parent as a friend- this wont work. 2- Jump in totally and get everyone you can involved to stop the bullying. Call the police about yesterdays incident. Tell them you want charges of harassment filed. Or simple assault. Make them interview all parties present and bring the matter before a judge. The kids will never be friends with your boy again, but the system will be started to protect him. Bullies only win when you don't speak up. Letting their actions continue. I am the police and I have filed a report when my youngest got beat bad. A guy I supervise had to take the report. Notify the school, they should be told so the boys are not placed together and the other boys might be bullying others. Call parents if need be. Don't hide thinking it gets better. The squeaky wheel gets the oil! Now money. Start hiding $30 bucks a pay. Build a reserve. Everyone can pay themselves first by hiding $30 in a can/book each pay. It will add up in few months so even if you don't use it, you feel safe having a hundred or two sitting in house. Not in bank. Physically have it somewhere you can touch it and hide it from everyone. This is not your savings, its your security from hungry.
June 17, 201412 yr Seeing your child hurt is a horrible feeling. Some people are just assholes and raise their kids to be just like them. I would do what Bakon suggested and file a complaint with the police. This has been going on for quite some time now and the parents obviously don't care and talking to them would be like talking to a brick wall. There is only so much you can do to protect your child but in this situation, you have to get it under control. Let the judicial system do the work. All you have to do is take the first step. I can only assume that bullying is taken very seriously in Scotland as it is here in the United States. Let the judge settle score with the kids and the ******* asshole parents who raised them. What kind of a kid does this shit? Kids say mean things and that's just life but this kind of stuff and the stuff you previously shared is beyond words. Glad you recognized the junkie thinking because smoking isn't going to make anything go away, but you already know that.
June 17, 201412 yr Jackie sweetheart..... My heart is breaking for you.....you sound so sad ..... You have had great advice from the guys over this awful bullying.......they are right ,bullies are cowards..... I'm so sorry your son is still having to face this..... Smoking will not help your money situation.....it will only make it worse...... You will then hate yourself ,which will make it worse..... Keep coming to the board and share this......you have many friends here,who will try and help and support.... Sending ((((((((( hug )))))))) to you and your family..... Doreen xx
June 17, 201412 yr ((( Jackie)))) so sorry to read this .... I can't add to what the others have said except to say I am sending thoughts your way .... You know smoking will only make the situation worse - so take that off the table as an option and then start thinking about what changes you can make in other areas .... Sending thoughts your way !
June 18, 201412 yr Jackie please PM me I don't know what I can do but I would like to help sweetie life is shit sometimes and we feel laden with the crap of everyday life but we can overcome good job in posting hun sometimes we all need to reach out xxx
June 18, 201412 yr Hey Jackie! Sorry I missed this last night. Rough few days all right. Some great advice above. Smoking will certainly not help the bairns or the finances, but you know that. Life throws crap from time to time. Head down, one step at a time Jackie. You can beat these feelings.
June 18, 201412 yr Aww Jackie, that all sounds like it absolutely sucks :( Sorry I missed this. I want you to know you are not alone. Do whatever is your strong thing, be it praying, screaming at schools, threatening the hubby with a frying pan. I think sometimes life is just sent to try us you know. No rhyme or reason, it's just utter shite. It's those moments where you have to really dig deep, I mean deep to the core of your being to be all that you can be that make us the people we are. I want you to know you can PM me anytime!! I have no idea what I will say but I can do virtual hand holding. We can take a non smoking chill on a mountain platuaeu as not everything requires forward movement Jac, sometimes, it's just a regroup moment. I am utterly on your side though. Agree with Bakon on the nestegg stuff. Would bring all kinds of bat shit crazy to the school. It's all too much at times so we break it down. And we sob when we need it. But we don't smoke you hear me!! We both fell off before with stress but you know what, some people just get more stress than the average joe and that makes us special enough that we must be able to deal with it (shhhh, but even when we feel we may break). My strength to you Jackie. xx
June 19, 201412 yr Author Hi everyone , firstly I would just like to say thank you all so much for taking time out to read my post and to reply, you guys are really my lifeline sorry to put that on you all, im still here and still not smoking, my wee boy is not going out at the moment, he has a severe hayfever problem which has manifested and is resulting in near anaphylactic shock, we had him at the docs again and he has advised us to go straight to A & E if it happens again, i am mentally shaking my first upwards and just saying ok shite on me all you like but not my kids!!! School is out next week, and we are going to concentrate on giving my boy a fantastic summer, have already spoken to the parents involved but feel this does nothing as they couldnt really care , one day at a time at the minute, seeing my boys smile and hearing them laugh makes my day complete. Big hugs to you all and thanks a million for keeping me with both my feet firmly on the ground and for believing it means alot xxx
June 20, 201412 yr Atta girl Jackie! Keep supporting and loving your boys. They will get there. Sometimes life gets all over us and as you say, we need to focus on the simple pleasures, the sun coming out, a peal of laughter. Things will get better!
June 20, 201412 yr hang in there Jackie I know its tough but don't give we are here for wish I could help more
June 20, 201412 yr Jackie, I'm so pleased you stayed quit...... Time out with the family....sound really nice......recharge your batteries.....so to speak..... Hugs to you all Doreen
June 21, 201412 yr Jackie, I'm late, but you handled things beautifully. You stayed diligent and handled things without smoking. Stress was hands down my worst trigger. (And pretty much everything was a trigger to me at first. Even things that had nothing to do with smoking.) You are a good mama :)
June 21, 201412 yr Awh I'm soo sorry hun, kids can be bastardsss, the poor pet, can you go to their parents and tell them what they did? This shitt breaks my heart,we took our son out of school 2 weeks ago cos the bullying was soo severe (we were advised to take him out) he is starting a new school with zero tolerance on bullying and his best pals will be in his class. He has to start counselling aswell cos of it but please god within the year we might see a happy confident 8 year old again. Is this kids from school or on your road? Smoking will not help this I promise, it will only sadden your son even more to see his mam (the one that fixes everything) killing herself just when he needs her the most. Don't do it, take smoking off the table, it's not an option whatsoever and will only put you furtyer into debt, madness to even consider it. All my love to you and your boy xxx
June 25, 201412 yr Hiya Jackie (been absent, painting) So sorry it all seems shyte at the moment but so glad that 'deep down' you know lighting up isn't the answer and won't help in any way. Chin up my lovely as I'm sure events will take a turn for the better real soon. Xx
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