Ramona

HB x 2!!!!

Just experienced a week which proved most threatening to my quit thus far. This has been the case for me in the past as well. Seems I can breeze through the beginning. But persevering ~ months 5-10 feels like crawling through a synaptic land mine. Or dodging emotional-memory-snipers. I know this happens because I grow complacent. To a large degree my quit has become normalized...I'm actually almost comfortable. This is where the emotional/psychological triggers hit me harder than ever. ARGH & OUCH! Very frustrating. It's not that these craves are stronger, it's just that my defenses are lowered. I write this not for sympathy or confirmation but as a warning to others. For some, not all, the real challenge happens later in the game. It is commonly commented upon and accepted that: "we don't want to go back to that first hell week." And of course we don't!! But this past week was harder (for me) than Week #1. No lie. Onward. Choo-choo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe in 1, 2, 3. Hold it 1, 2, 3. Exhale 1, 2, 3. and ahhhhhhhhhhh...another Nope. Just barely, ...but that's as good as I can get right now.

Way to go Jess! Six months is a big one...glass is half full and you'll be at that year mark in no time.

Nope

Wow, I can't even watch that. That's always been my worst fear - a needle into the eye. UGh.

I feel for you. As for me - the weight stuff is just plain exhausting. I need to get over it!!! But cigarettes were my main motivator for pretty much everything I did - waking up, doing yoga, going outside. Sometimes I feel so unmotivated because I don't have that reward system in place. I need to see things as rewards in and of themselves. Like, the coffee alone is a reward - - - the exercise alone is the reward. HARD TO DO. What does, "I might go extreme mean"? I take appetite inducing meds as well - - the way I've circumvented this issue is: I don't really eat a lot before the "craving time" of the day. So I'm real strict with myself until after I take the meds. Then I sort of go easy on myself and let myself binge a bit. I mean, it's calories in and calories out. The equation doesn't say calories in @ such and such time. I hope that helps maybe.

Does nine months feel like 9 decades???? I think it might for me. But you trampled the addiction thus far. Well done.

Three years and battling the boredom with a scythe of awareness. Congrats.

Congrats on so much time mastered.

"Dissipate negativity on the fly" = yes, tough. Although SOMETIMES I can do this, most of the time I have to exercise to dissipate the negativity. I wish this was not so. I wish I could listen to my own recent revelation. But I guess running it out is higher on the zen scale than smoking. Maybe? I don't know really.

It's hard to believe after living for 32 years, reading countless self-help books and going through quite a bit of therapy that I never heard about "validating oneself." It's so simple. Here's what happens: Someone affronts you, you get upset, you are justified in feeling harmed/hurt...all you do is tell yourself that your feelings are valid. That's all!!! Instead of holding the grudge or sh*t talking about the offender - you just accept that someone has acted unkind, dishonest, malicious. You accept that fact, commiserate with yourself, and move on. This way you don't allow the situation to malign into something more powerful. Whenever we complain about someone to another person we are simply seeking validation. But we don't need another person to provide that for us. We don't have to hang onto the grudge. It doesn't even feel good to talk ill of another!!! It hurts us more. Love it.

My condolences. Those are a lot of years you did not have with him. My Dad turns 68 this May. You have made me more grateful.

Just had my first flight as a non-smoker. Nice! So mellow and relaxed. Good stuff. Now it's just the dealing with where I am...a place I used to live which has some powerful emotional associations. I mean, I was a smoker and a non-smoker in this town. Mostly a smoker...I lived here over two years and I quit about 3 months out of that time. It is strange to be back here and not have my cigarette, my friend, to keep me company in my thoughts. So yeah - flight was great and reaffirming. But being here is scary and slightly overwhelming. I'm here because my best friend had her baby and I hadn't even met him yet at 8 months! But it's all new - knowing and seeing her as a mother and a real adult. I don't plan to have kids so it's something we will never have in common. I'm nervous...

100% agree with this statement. Footwork and patience.

Smoking can be a little lonely at first. That is until you realize there are other non-smokers out there. "Wait, not everyone goes outside at this time?" I never knew people could exist as non-smokers!!! I got lucky when I quit - my best bud had just quit too. Hers was because of a pregnancy but we can still be major supports for each other. Yah!

Superhuman effort = yup, sometimes. But the rewards come with the minimal-to-no effort days. Love dem days!!! Just celebrated 5 months. I experience periods of rage now and again - apparently I had been smoking over a cache of anger all those years. So purging that is an interesting experience. My boyfriend and I are evolving in this together - he just accomplished 1.5 months. He keeps warning me of an impending relapse but it hasn't happened yet and I have high hopes. It's pretty amazing to experience this growth with another human being. I feel lucky for this! I will be disappointed if he relapses but the only thing I have control over is my own quit. Things that have helped me thus far: ~ this forum (and another one) ~ exercise to points of exhaustion ~ ice cream and fruit bars ~ education ~ new therapist ~ eating out ~ saving my cigarette money in a separate acct. in order to watch it grow ~ prayer & meditation ~ crying (as always) & screaming

For ME!!! :lol:

Neh. I'm grateful to have an opportunity to overcome this addiction - a challenge and a purpose. I'm grateful for the experiences smoking gave me - meeting people outside and taking covert butt-runs in high school. I accept what has been and I accept what now is. Though do I want my 10 year old niece to start-up? NOooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! Maybe that's hypocritical but I want her to live life without the vile weed.

Keep on keeping on. Three weeks is fantastic!

Food X2!

Nice point Jenny! X2

My boyfriend's 52 year old uncle is dying of lung/throat cancer as I type this...he will pass any moment. He will not live to see his retirement. He will not live to see his grandchildren. He will not live to see his Mom's 91st birthday this year. Smoking kills...

Way to go! May you continue to overcome and run swiftly.

I'm an exercise addict - always have been - even when I was a smoker. I wish I could Not One Physical Exercise it for a day or two. I never allow myself a day of sloth. Kind of bananas. Even with my "discipline" I have gained 10-15 lbs in this quit. I look a little flabby to myself because before I quit I had finally achieved my ideal body lookswise. But it's all good. I am grateful for my strength, athleticism and burgeoning joy.