Rosewothorne

NOPE!

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I should have read this first, "quit smoking without gaining weight" https://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com/About/Articles/Quit-smoking-without-gaining-weight" "By quitting smoking you haven’t lost a friend, you’ve killed an enemy. Take this attitude to quitting and there will be no sense of deprivation and therefore no desire to substitute food for cigarettes."

This! I forgot about this and it's so freaking true!!! I always hated that but it hasn't happened since I quit! YESSSSSS! Thank you ALL for your words of encouragement and celebration with me. I really, really appreciate it. I can't tell you how much you welcoming me means. I saw a TED talk once along the lines that we alienate or isolate addicts from society when what they need is the exact opposite: a sense of connection, an opportunity to contribute to and be part of a community. True Dat. My quit date and first blog entry here were on whims. Sometimes a whim (is that really a word?) is the step through the door you need. The blog helps to keep me honest -- it's like my daily NOPE pledge on steroids.

8 days smokefree. Yeehaw! Oops. Didn’t start that 21-day fitness thing yet. Two things on my mind are rewards and the bottomless pit of what seems to be hunger. Yesterday, I had several moments where I wanted to smoke but I didn’t seriously consider it. I noticed around lunchtime just how hungry I was and I ate a normal portion of leftover lo mein and then I finished it with a second helping. I still felt hungry. I had two cookies. Luckily that was just about all the food I had in the house because we’ve not been shopping for a couple of weeks. This could be dangerous. I recall that bottomless pit of “hunger” from my last quit. I put it in quotes because I think it’s more my body’s effort to feed the addiction rather than an actual need for sustenance. Last time I ate at will. I suppose I gained weight. I don’t remember. I’ve already gained some weight in the last couple weeks and this is a concern for me because I’d like to stick to a few pounds max. I get that nicotine surpressed my appetite and now I’ve got to figure out how to eat healthy. I need to eat Something in the morning (I rarely ate breakfast when I smoked) and regular smallish meals throughout the day. Last night we went to the grocery store and we did buy healthy foods—vegetables, fruit, meats, and some healthier type snacks. That’s a start. The other part is of course the mental discussion—am I feeding me physically or am I feeding the addiction? Side note: Monday night shopping is not good. Perishables are in limited supply. The shelves were half empty and there bits and pieces all over the floor in the produce department. Rewards was my other thought. How to reward myself. I’m a wife and mom...I’m not trained or programmed that way. Martyrdom was how I was taught...anyway I’m working on that foolishness too :-) Husband (still smokefree with a particularly tough day 3 yesterday!) suggested we open a separate bank account for the money we save. I think it’s a good idea. Another side note. We have this jar with slips of paper that have things to do for the weekend. We sometimes pick when nothing’s going on. Some are house projects (put in the backsplash) and some are fun (day drinking) and some just general to do. If we pick and don’t do it I put it up on the refrigerator. Several months ago we picked this one in the picture. Now I can finally take it down. Yeehaw!!

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Nope!!!

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You will be in my thoughts and prayers ... best wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

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Great job!!! Congratulations on 30 days!

Yes, you did fantastic saying no! I was just thinking about that kind of situation and what i would do around my smoker friends and realized I was "romancing" it. No suggestions or help for you, just I get how hard retraining our brains is...but we're doing it! You didn't lose the war, just a battle. You're still standing.

I love your chart! And cheers to many more birthday celebrations with your dad!!!

As joyful and as awesome as Saturday was for me, Sunday was that much of blah. It’s a roller coaster ride. I found myself missing smoking at several times throughout the day yesterday. I guess that’s romanticizing smoking...thinking of the enjoyment of it, etc. I had to remind myself to just live in and be present in this moment; to decide not to smoke right now. I have some PTSD-like things that come up every now and again and while i manage them much better than I used to I still get a little lost in those thoughts sometimes. That had a hold of me yesterday too and was probably why I thought more about smoking. When im emotionally or physically weak that’s when the smoke thoughts come on strong. A reminder to take care of me. Anyway I think that to recognize the feeling or emotion that makes me think about smoking is good but only if I can kind of examine it from a “distance.” That’s tricky but it goes to controlling how I respond to an emotion - or trigger. I also have to be willing to let that emotion or trigger go. Each time I do It (acknowledge, accept, let go) i get stronger and it gets easier. It becomes my new habit. A healthier, more positive, and socially acceptable habit. I think that a main reason to quit smoking and stay quit is because I can and it’s an accomplishment and success that feels good... like look at me: i won this mental battle today! It’s like it’s own reward. I am proud to have 1 week of practice under my belt. I can keep doing this. I got on this roller coaster by choice and I don’t have to be afraid. Today im going to start a 21-day core fitness challenge. I hope that writing it here where others can see will help hold me to it. ?

NOPE!!! Not today.

Nope!

I am still smokefree!!! Yesterday I drove 3 hours without smoking. I held a straw in my left hand for most of the trip. At one point I actually flicked it as if to get the ash off out the window. That was totally out of habit and without thinking. I thought it was kind of funny. It made me realize how much of this is the habit of smoking, the muscle memory. I was also also thinking about what seems different about this quit for me. It’s not as much of a struggle for me as the last time I quit. For that I’m super grateful but I won’t take it for granted. There is the chantix which may have a lot to do with it. But this time I think a big difference is I’m just taking it as it comes...like right now I’m not going to smoke kind of thing. Or when I feel an urge, I’m more accepting that an urge is just a natural part of the process. It’s ok to acknowledge and accept it knowing it will pass. In my previous quit it felt like an all-consuming, constant struggle and battle. I was often focused on the fear of never smoking again and feeding the anxieties that go with that. I muscled through it and stayed quit for three years. But I think because I was always saying, “you can’t do that. you can’t smoke” it was like I was denying myself something instead of giving myself the greatest gift of all. This time I just keep telling myself I have a choice. I can smoke or not smoke and I’ve wanted to not smoke for so many years that I think I won’t smoke right now. That’s the right choice for me right now. Rinse. Repeat. Today is is an amazingly sunny and beautiful day. I went for a walk on the beach with my husband who is also smokefree for a whole day now!! It was a wonderful time and reward. I felt a lot of joy!!! I washed and vacuumed the car to try to get some of the stink out. Under the driver’s seat I found one of my cigarettes. I looked at it for a moment or two trying to decide if I was tempted. I tossed it in the yard. When my husband came out I showed him — look what I found—and then I put it in the shop vac. So instead of me sucking on the cigarette, the cigarette got sucked up today!!!

NOPE!!!! Not now, not today! Happy birthday, Octain!!!

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me but i made it through. Just when I felt confident I had a major trigger that I've not dealt with before and panicked. All of my planning went out the window but I got great suggestions in SOS to use a straw like a cigarette, deep breathe, and lollipops or other hard candies. I didn't have a straw so I used a bic pen. I made it through just fine. I read today that once you experience and deal with a cue/trigger that it won't impact you as much the next time. That's encouraging news. I have to be vigilant of those unexpected "firsts" that seem to come out of nowhere like a gut punch. Today I will experience another first time trigger. I will be driving approximately 3 hours to the beach. I sometimes smoke 5-6 cigarettes on that trip. I have not smoked on the trip a couple of times when i was carting my daughter and her friends so I know that I can do it. I will take my straws, breath mints, hard candy, and ice water to substitute when the urge hits me. If those fail me, I will curse or sing loudly. I'll figure out something to take care of myself and not smoke. My husband just texted me that he is on his last cigarette. That is a great benefit. It will be nice to have company. BUT, my quit is not dependent on him because my quit is for me. I will have to read some stuff on this subject...because I think it's pretty easy to cave in if someone close to you caves in... Related side benefit of not smoking today: Three of six drawers in my chest of drawers are sorted and organized :-)

Nope!