Opah

carrot cake cupcakes with lemon cream cheese icing ! Heaven on earth

Thank you all, it is appreciated. I know it has been years to finally get to this one year and I am proud of myself.

Ace where did you get that picture of me? That was like 10 years ago when I disappeared into the mountains for a year. Very sad time and such a wonderful time learned a ton about my self lived day to day, trapping, my blow gun and Bow. Didn't know what day it was, time was not relevant.

Down to the hard haggling on cost, finally got some new astro turf down to .96Cents a SF. Really hoping there warehouse is close enough for me to pick this stuff up, really do not want to pay 300+ in shipping. Man iy is hard to believe all the plastic bottles I have recycled to make this crap and they want a freaking fortune for it.

repossessing Dunnies, isn't that dangerous ! My Mama always said life is like a bunch of Dunnies you never know what your going to get.

sugar free Carmel hard candies Kris, if that doesn't that the edge off, get a tub of your bests ice cream, your most beloved movie curl up in your must soft and warmest blanket, close the curtains, lock the doors and have a me only day except for the Pups they can keep your feet and lap warm

I have been waiting but it seems to have avoid me here in San Bernardino. Storms will usually back up against the mountains and we get some really heavy down pours but as of yet Gray windy and cold no Rain.

Well Thank you Linda: I must say that having you and quit train in my life is certainly a blessing also. If we could just remember all the blessing we have in our life's when we were starting to feel blue or unhappy, maybe just maybe we wouldn't feel down so often.

You might say my moms and My relationship is cemented in concrete !

Well it finally happen, I got 25 foot by 60 foot = 1650sf of concrete for the small sum of $7500.00. Now my mom can take a short walk to the mail box or sit outside and listen to the radio. I asked about some astro turf for the other half of the yard and my contractor said $8000.00 ! YIKES how can Grassy carpet cost some freaking much, This is basically recycle water bottles with some green die added. So starts the search, I am determined not to have grass or some BS desert land scape. I want to be able to use it for Badmittent, mini golf or crocket. Pretty right.

Guess you had better MOOOOOOOve it over and avoid the flying objects that have hurled in your direction. Applogize and tell her you have been BAAAAAAAAD.

All righty now, brew up a big pot of nasty coffee, round up all the chairs and we'll have a good old fashioned

For some the admittance of weakness or vulnerability is a tough one. I worked hard at what ever it was I was doing, I strived to be the best or at least better than most. not sure where I got that but it was ingrained in me and I was proud of it. To be called addicted, addict or defective was totally against all that I believed in myself. I am sure Jill or Doreen could tell you stories about me arguing with them about being cured and not being addicted any more. Sure enough I would test it and throw a 7, 6 month quit down the toilet. Now I believe I am strong enough to admit my weakness, and the fact that my addiction to nicotine will never go away, I will get to be manageable, but feed it and it will jump right back up and take control all over again. So here I am, educated, self assured, and ready to do the work necessary to Keep my quit, and Damn it I will continue to succeed.

One week from today ! This was the reason I was able to let go of the $1500.00 for My BBAR and sight and ammo, Yes for me it is that big a deal. Not sure how many years it has been 2 maybe 3, I am sure their are more than a couple here that know for sure. That one year smoke free anniversary has eluded me, yes it was me no excuses there, a jack ass in side that believe he had all the answers and control, that would not speak the word addiction or addict. After all I am not sticking a needle in my arm now am I? Years it has taken me to except that Nicotine had a grip on me even after 10 or 11 months of abstinence. See the word abstinence triggers the thought process of NO SEX, Not no Nicotine or no smoking. Ugly words they are and my self image would not apply such Ugliness to my image of my self. Well I have now, not to me now but to me the smoker, I can close mt eye invasion me smoking and what I see is ugly, no more romantic mountain man in the cloud covered mountains, Tranquil and soft puffing on a smoke. I see a yellow smile, smelly, coughing some thing people avoided. It took me finally being able to apply those ugly words to my self. For me this is not seven steps, it is a life long process constantly changing with my ability to love and care for myself, to see the ugly and the handsome sides of me. Be able to tell the truth and not lie to myself.

That desert eagle is a 5lbs gun, has the weight and Being gas operated helps big time with the recoil. There is no ignoring its report, when it Barks people listen !

Well life for my elderly mother is getting a little better today, final planning is done and the contractors are going to start the 22 X 65 foot concrete apron from my front door to the curb tomorrow. Soon she will be able to walk out to get the mail, set outside and listen to the radio, talk to the dog next door, She loves that dog, she signs and him will she says signs back to her. Got my 3 days off and Remembered our anniversary. I am taking my wife out for a nice dinner and walk on the beach, going to pack a blanket just incase we can get frisky. Moon lit beaches have that effect on me.

Dogs and Babys how can you go wrong A huge smile a minute

No fancy video Gus, Just a imaginary slap on the back ! You have done your self proud !

I just realized I get my three days off these week ! I am Back to My shift, my days off for the now and my guys !

LURKERS? I say Not, Curious, Longing, wanting More and better Yes Come have a answer to all your questions, come and learn, come and better your life for you and yours. Come one Come all. Put and end To your ?

Well Goodness has started to come back into My life! My job: I am back to My shift with My crew, the boss is still an ass but Shit happens. I got my BBAR riffle and its optics, Tactical green dot with 10 rounds as fast as one can pull the trigger. I will be able to be getting back to the Ranch and the Refuge. And I am chowing down on a IN and OUT Burgers that was brought to me cooked and given to me free, Yes life can be good, yes it can

On this Day