notsmokinjo

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Firing line

Italian leather jacket

Oh Sneaky... forgot to say... get up early so that you can be outside in the early morning sunlight... it is the best source of Vitamin D... and its free and natural.

Nah I reckon I'd have Kylie at the head of the parade... do you think she'd still be up for it?

I counted fifteen minute increments for the first week, and a bit. I was lucky I had a job where I could choose to do pointless repetitive tasks that didn't need me to think. I made graphs of my emotions and the number of craves and how many times I thought about smoking... I was slightly insane, then I have insomnia anyway so that was worse and I had endless hours all night to do my graphs and charts. But it gets easier, you know this, deep breath... and set small work goals and just push through until the task is done... then reward yourself with a quick five minutes reading... then on to the next task... when its finished, reward yourself with a little bit of reading. It works. You are doing so well, keep it up.

tom bowler marble

Well of course she is why wouldn't she be?

So, a few weeks ago I had my 7 month WooHoo celebration (thanks again everyone) and I was feeling all comfy, cosy in my quit. Thought the work was done and I was just biding my time and it was all smooth sailing until that Lido Deck party, even put in some catering requests to Reci for the celebratory event. You see I was going days, nearly weeks without really thinking about smoking let alone wanting one. So I was completely complacent. Then Saturday night... ALL FRICKIN NIGHT.... that voice was back... not the skin crawling, itching, aching I need a smoke... but the we can have a smoke now, just one, it wont hurt. Everything I did... oh good smoke time... it didn't take much to stave off the urge... and they are urges... because I knew them for what they were. Then Sunday... which was a good day for me... was more of the same... random, multiple times throughout the day I got these urges ... some strong some not so... then I was clearing some space in the shed and found a pack of smokes... and I shook it, cos you never know there might have been one in there (wot the ever lovin??) ... and I think if there had of been, I would have, maybe smoked it because... "a few puffs wont hurt now" ... wot the fvck! ... well I probably wouldn't have straight away because I have a promise in place as a contingency but it would have been a close call.... so you all know there are some issues in my life, but this isn't linked to that if it was linked to that the thought process would have been more like "wots the point now you may as well", that thought is not entering my mind at all. This is different. I'm not sure if its the nicobitch having one last big hurrah roll of the dice to get me to feed her again or if its a comeuppance for being so c0cky and thinking I had it under control, for being complacent. So besides that moment in the shed I've been shrugging the urges off... ignoring them.... letting life just keep going with these little blips of subconscious stupidity ... but they are not stopping and quite frankly they are driving me insane. I thought I was past this. Don't get me wrong.. they are annoying, they are not soul consuming like they were in the beginning or even at 5 months but they are pretty regular at the moment. They are driving my mental when they hit. They are stupid. I want it to stop. But each time I shrug one off another will come. Its not like I'm going to smoke because I am not, beside that moment in the shed its not even close to being a consideration. There will be an SOS if it gets to it, this is not that time. I just need to confess and put this out there, hopefully someone further along than me will post and say... Oh yeah, I had that... you just need to ride it out and she'll be right... or by me posting this someone else will see it and think, thank god I'm not the only lunatic in the asylum... but basically its all well and good to show you all the strong, stable quit persona that most of the time I am but it is not OK to act like I'm not still battling with this addiction because that doesn't help anyone, especially me ... so in the interest of honesty and transparency I'm still battling this addiction, because I am a junky, I am an addict, I always will be an addict I am just never going to be a user again. I still make a coffee and drink it and then get, "ok time for a smoke" thoughts... I still walk past the back door and get the "oh lets go out for a smoke" thoughts. Its still happening, and for some reason while not as insistent more often than the past few months. So for most of the day I am super confident in my quit but there are still glitches in the programming where the urge for a smoke will slide on through. It will stop soon... wont it?

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Yep... the train went all the way to the end of the line which is my stop then all the back to the city then all the way to the end of the line going in a completely opposite side of Melbourne... but it was back in the day when I wouldn't sleep from Thursday to Sunday get a few hours then be at work... in the olden, olden days. TNP has been in a protest march.

15 ... its fun being upside down under isn't it....?

15 ?

Hell yeah. TNP can sleep in the shower.

15 ?

Cos.... ♫♪♫ Each time I find myself flat on my face I pick myself up and get back in the race ♪♫♪

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This one is for the Wees ... @Wee fluffy me & @WeegieWoman.... its the Battle of Barra 1308

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I have noticed a lot of people who hopped off the Quit Train jumping back on in the past few weeks. This is awesome. So for those of you out there who in the past few weeks have tossed the smokes and taken up the challenge to quit again I just wanted you to know we have your back and are so happy that you have decided to quit again. Welcome Back. May this be your sticky quit. My you learn from your last quit (however short or long it was) and take those lessons with you to help you KTQ. My you have a long future ahead of you as a non-smoker.

Sorry about your relapse but great to see you back NOPE'ing.... if you feel like it, it would be great if you could post about the experience in the smoking threads because I can guarantee someone will get a benefit from it. Looking forward to seeing you each day in the NOPE.