MarylandQuitter

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Count me in! NOPE!

This is a post that Joel used to use quite often at the Freedom From Nicotine Message Board before they implemented their no relapse policy. While it's no longer used at Freedom, it's a very insightful and an excellent message for all of us, especially those who have relapsed and most importantly, mirrors our ideology concerning relapse. A special thanks to Joel for allowing us to use this. I tried freedom once, why bother trying again? Some past participants have shown a certain reluctance to return to Freedom after relapsing back to smoking. Many are embarrassed to come back admitting failure. Others feel they tried Freedom once, and, since they went back to smoking, its techniques must not have worked for them, so why bother trying the same approach again? Still others feel it is an inconvenience and an unnecessary commitment of time and effort considering they "heard it all before." The concept of returning after a relapse may seem embarrassing at first, but, the ex-smoker will probably see quickly he is not alone. Many people have had past quits prior to joining Freedom and understand the fragility of a quit. They will generally understand and accept the presence of repeaters enthusiastically. Relapsers offer a strong confirmation of the concept of addiction to our old members and to all new participants. They often openly share their past experience of how, after initially quitting, they came to a point of complacency which allowed the relapse to occur. They generally reflect back at their non-smoking period as a time where they felt emotionally and physically better, and then openly express the disgust and misery that the relapse brought on. Not only did it cause embarrassment, physical discomfort, and maybe even serious health complications, but also, it was putting them through quitting all over again. Their insights offer a valuable lesson to first time participants not to make the one tragic mistake that could lead them back to smoking and the need for quitting over again--taking a puff on a cigarette. As far as it being an inconvenience, while reading and posting may take a chunk of time out of a smokers life the first few days, in all probability, there is nothing a smoker has to do the week that he or she is stopping that is as important as quitting smoking. Failure to touch base daily with us because of conflicts of time with social or even professional commitments makes about as much sense as a cancer patient skipping life saving chemotherapy treatments for the same events. Missing an entire day because of prior time commitments may jeopardize the quitting process or the long-term maintenance of smoking cessation. This may cost the person his or her life. In the long run, it will probably be viewed as an error in judgment by the patient as well as any significant others who recognize what was put at risk and what was lost in the process. For those who feel that Freedom didn't work, the fact is that the techniques taught here didn't fail, the smoker's implementation did. Only one recurrent theme runs through Freedom: if you don't wish to go back to smoking--NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! No one ever went back to smoking without disregarding that rule. Relapsing is an automatic admission that the smoker disregarded the basic principal taught at Freedom. As far as feeling that "I've heard it all before," being a relapser is evidence enough that the smoker did not hear it or comprehend it all before, or is the type of person who needs to hear it over and over again in order to keep believing it. Repeaters are people who have trouble initially accepting or keeping the concept of addiction alive. This trait is in all probability the reason why the ex-smoker originally relapsed, or maybe didn't stop at all the first time. He or she reached a point of complacency where it was believed that smoking could be controlled at an acceptable level. Smoking is an all or nothing proposition. The repeater must recognize the reason for the past failure and learn from the experience. Otherwise, he or she will be doomed to repeat it over and over again. If you have gone back to smoking, come in and try again. Once you quit smoking, do everything in your power to stay off. Come in for continued reinforcement and witness the mistakes of other past participants who got complacent. As far as addiction goes, it is much better to learn from others' mistakes than having to attend later due to your own. You just don't know whether you will ever have the strength, desire, or opportunity to quit the next time. In today's society, failing to stay off smoking carries long-term risks which include loss of social status, and respect of others; financial implications which range from supporting an addiction costing hundreds to thousands of dollars per year as well as possibly costing your job and career; and, most significantly, eventual loss of health, and possibly loss of life. Considering all of this, the choice to quit smoking and to stay off is an important one. To keep the ability to stay off smoking you need to always remember to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! © Joel Spitzer, 2000

Quitting Smoking Is An Option A commonly used phrase on Internet quit sites is "Smoking is not an option." This video refers to resources we have set up to explain that the phrase is not true, that smoking is always an option. What is true though and even more important is that "Quitting smoking is an option," and staying off is an option too, options that are doable by all people who make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvJ_vTpZhq8 Follow up resource material: The fear of success https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHhWSOsWoBE "I can't quit or I won't quit" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i22AI_prRQI The power of nicotine addiction https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpYRrZG5l8A "I don't have a choice, I have to quit smoking" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYnBqGqrlN4 Quitting smoking: A fate worse than death https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AfYEZeP2zM "I can't quit because I am addicted" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWso5QxV58Q Who wants to go back to smoking? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DG9qGjf2hd8 "Boy do I miss smoking" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT5ZL02832s Article: Smoking is an option http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/11402/Smoking-IS-an-Option

For today, all I have to do is not take another puff. NOPE. :)

Nice to see you back, Juan!! What is your plan this time? The more you tell us the more we can help. We're all ears...

Gotta keep the Chili's up in here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtmnt-Ol1UY

You and your neighbors get a decrease in property tax. I insert a flock of geese heading north.

The best guitar solo in the history of guitars...and solos. This song is mesmerizing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4gV-W93-OY

NTAP! NTAP Shuffle anyone? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn8_bWeZRVU

I haven't even had my first sip of perfectly brewed coffee yet (it's sitting next to me) and had to respond. So yeah, some things are more important than coffee. :) Great job Tiffany! I'm beyond happy for you. I was so glad to read that you were going out with friends that smoke because until you face these situations, you just sell yourself short of confidence in your quit. Here are a couple of videos to reinforce your decision and ultimately, your victory. :) Avoiding Situations Where You Used To Smoke This video discusses the importance of facing triggers head on as opposed to the natural inclination of many to avoid situations where they used to smoke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M681p2B-8kA&list=PLB9C6D1DB230060AA Everything You Did As A Smoker You Can Do As An Ex-Smoker This video points out that many people don't even attempt to quit because of the fear that they will not only have to give up cigarettes when they quit smoking but also, all of the activities in their lives that they did with cigarettes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqlyAdvafio&index=13&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113

The Boondock Saints is one of my all-time favorite movies!

Short hair Fireplace or furnace?

This is sad, but it hit home for me. Different circumstances and a generation gap, this was me. How lonely I really was and smoking was never the friend I had thought it was. This could be any one of us should we ever take another puff from one of those death sticks. Life had become a boring routine. She had just been going through the motions of maintaining a normal semblance of existence. Waking up, having a cigarette. Washing up and brushing her teeth, having a cigarette. Eating breakfast, having a cigarette. Doing some light cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, and having a cigarette. Watching a little television while having a cigarette. Preparing a sandwich for lunch, having a cigarette. Taking a short nap, waking up for a cigarette. Reading the newspaper, having a cigarette. Making a list of needed groceries, having a cigarette. Getting ready to do some light shopping, having a cigarette. Driving to the local market, having a cigarette. About to enter the store, but stopping to have a cigarette. Checking out at the cash register, leaving the store and having a cigarette. Going home and starting to prepare dinner, having a cigarette. Eating dinner, having a cigarette. Clearing the table and washing the dishes, having a cigarette. Watching a little television, having a couple of cigarettes. Washing up, brushing her teeth and getting dressed for bed, having a cigarette. Getting into bed, having a cigarette. Going to sleep. Ever since the loss of her husband many years ago, nothing in her normal daily existence seemed to give her life any meaning or any real happiness. Weeks would go by with her barely cracking a smile. Almost nothing seemed to bring her joy anymore. But this day was starting differently. After breakfast her phone rang. She ran for a cigarette. On the fourth ring she made it to the phone and picked up the receiver. It was her daughter. She lived only an hour away, but because of her career, her husband's schedule and the kid's school, soccer, piano, ballet lessons, etc., they only were able to visit occasionally. Well, to her pleasant surprise, she found out that they were coming on Saturday to spend the day. For the first time in weeks she seemed truly happy. As soon as she hung up the phone she grabbed for a cigarette. She had to start planning and preparing to see the kids. She called her beauty shop to make an afternoon appointment. When she hung up the phone she took a cigarette. She got dressed and ready to go shopping, and right before leaving, she took a cigarette. In the car driving to the store she hurriedly smoked two cigarettes for she knew she could not smoke while in the store. She hurriedly went up and down the aisles, with a certain bounce in her step for she was still so excited about the visit. When she left the store she hurried to her car and lit a cigarette. She went home, put away the groceries, prepared and ate a quick bite, smoked a cigarette and hurriedly left the house to be on time for her beauty shop appointment. While she was there she smoked and conversed with the other patrons, glowing as she told of her exciting weekend news. When she got home, she smoked a cigarette, and starting preparing a turkey for the big Saturday night meal. She smoked and ate, smoked and cooked and smoked and prepared for bed. One last cigarette and she slowly dozed off, happy and excited about the joy of the upcoming day. When she woke up she excitedly grabbed for her first cigarette. She got up and cleaned and brushed her teeth, and took another cigarette. She ate breakfast and smoked again. She started preparing her feast and smoked numerous cigarettes. Even though she was not conscious of the fact, she was smoking more than normal. Through years of conditioning she had learned that since she couldn't smoke when around the grandchildren she had better have plenty of nicotine in her system by the time they arrived. A little last minute cleaning, and cooking and smoking. She was ready. The door bell rings. She hurries to the door and opens it up. There is her family. Everyone is excited. She goes to kiss the youngest, who says "Oh grandma, you smell like an ashtray!" She was used to these comments, she loved him anyway. After 15 minutes of talking with all the kids and her daughter and son-in-law, she and her daughter go to the kitchen to work on the dinner. After a couple of hours she starts to feel the twinge for a cigarette. But she knows she can't smoke. The kids are running through the house vigorously. As the hours pass, her patience becomes strained. Too much noise she thinks to herself, boy, does she wish she could smoke a cigarette. She starts to complain of a minor headache. They decide they better eat early, grandma is seeming a little tired and a little hassled. They sit down to eat. The food is good and everyone is enjoying. But grandma seems to be feeling worse and worse. Four hours have passed and still no cigarette. After dinner they all decide grandma needs some rest and mutually everyone agrees they will leave early. She kisses them all good-bye and rushes them out. As the door closes she hurries to her pack and smokes three cigarettes in a row. She finally starts to feel better. She now sits down in a quiet empty room thinking how lonely she feels and how sad that they had to leave so soon. But at least she has her cigarettes. But it had been a long day. She washes up, brushes her teeth, gets dressed for bed, and has one last cigarette. Tomorrow would be another routine day. Joel © Joel Spitzer 1994, 2000 Page last updated by Joel Spitzer on August 24, 2003

Good Reasons To Take A Puff On A Cigarette After Having Quit Smoking For people who think that there are no good reasons to take a puff on a cigarette after quitting, and more importantly, for people who think that there might actually be good reasons. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvHl-zwUdBo Related video: There is no legitimate reason to relapse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCm_5... Related article: There is no legitimate reason to relapse http://ffn.yuku.com/topic/24 Cigars and Relapsing Video discusses how the only successful quits is the current quit and it will only stay successful as long as you continue to stick to your personal commitment to never take another puff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNfzs-97ztU Related videos: The lucky ones get hooked: The law of addiction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2I0NQ... Can second hand smoke cause relapse: Maybe a puff isn't that big of a deal: What should I call myself: Is relapse a natural part of the addiction process: Nicotine is nicotine is nicotine:

Tiffany, you just made my day!!!! :) My relapse was 100% intentional and subconsciously planned. I knew it but was in denial because I was still believing in the cigarette. I sure learned from that huge debacle! lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvHl-zwUdBo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Prc1UfuokY

Tobacco lobbyist buying politicians in Washington, D.C. is why cigarettes are still being sold. If anti-smoking lobbyists had more money than big tobacco then and only then would you start to see legislation being pushed to stop the sale of them. Would it work? No. It would probably create more demand just as it did with prohibition in the 1920's and it would create another Al Capone. lol The best way to beat big tobacco is to take away their customers by exposing the lies and spreading the word that quitting smoking is very, very doable, one smoker at a time. :)

Those thoughts will pop up when you least expect it - the length of time quit matters none. Addiction can't count years quit but it has to listen to you when you tell it to shut up. :)

Abby, For right now, this very moment, make a firm decision to quit and no matter what, protect that precious quit of yours. Once you put out your last cigarette, you become a non-smoker. Then we need to learn about this addiction so we can prepare ourselves for cravings and other issues that may or may not arise. The key to staying quit is education and commitment. Right now you're believing in the lies of the cigarette. In reality, you do not love your cigarettes and you don't enjoy smoking. That is the nicotine addiction talking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVEyGdqwjmQ This is my quit journey. :) Stay active here and post away. Post what you're struggling with, watch the videos in Joel's Quit Smoking Library, the documentaries here on smoking and tobacco and read, read and then read some more. We're here to help 24/7. Once you quit and you feel like you're going to slip up and smoke, post an S.O.S. so we can help. Myself, the moderators and several members get instant alerts to their phones and email whenever an S.O.S. is posted. Just remember that anybody can quit and that Abby, includes you. :)

I Know I'll Quit Again Video discusses the risk of allowing yourself to relapse using the logic that you can always simply just quit again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHp8yFnHbZQ Get Right Back In The Saddle? Still quit right away but figure out what went wrong and what happened so it doesn't happen again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEzzFM6c7A "Well at least I attempted to quit smoking. That's better than not trying to quit at all." This comment was stated by a clinic participant who, after five days of not smoking, gave in to an urge and took a cigarette. It was only going to be one cigarette, he thought. But by the end of the day, he was up to his old level. So what about his logic that at least trying to quit smoking is better than not trying at all? If this was his first attempt, it could be said that it was a learning experience. Maybe he just didn't understand the concept of addiction. He did not believe one cigarette could reestablish a physical dependency on nicotine. After taking one cigarette, he lost all control. So now, if he would ever quit again, he would not question the concept of one cigarette causing a total relapse. But this was not his first attempt quitting. It was his second time in our clinic, as well as multiple previous attempts at other programs, hypnosis and on his own. He once quit for two months before relapsing. At that time he broke all physical dependency on nicotine. Also, after two months he successfully overcame many trigger situations which cause many smokers to initially relapse. Work pressures, family problems, and social situations are obstacles that all ex-smokers initially face when quitting. He overcame all of these trigger situations. But then, one day, out of sheer boredom, he took a cigarette. In that attempt, too, he relapsed right back to his old level. Obviously, taking that cigarette was a serious mistake. This attempt, too, he chalked up to experience. But when considering his latter attempts, it is apparent that he learned nothing. Unless he objectively evaluates what causes his relapses to smoking, he is wasting his time trying to quit again. Because instead of recognizing his past attempts as failures, he rationalizes a positive feeling of accomplishment about them. This type of rationalization all but assures failures in all future attempts. Don't allow yourself to get into the same rut as this man did. On again, off again, one withdrawal after another. Quitting smoking is only the first step in smoking cessation. http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_11_at_least_i_tried.html

I Know I Will Quit Again Video discusses the risk of allowing yourself to relapse using the logic that you can always simply just quit again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHp8yFnHbZQ Related article: I Know I Will Quit Again http://www.ffn.yuku.com/topic/22978 Related story: http://ffn.yuku.com/sreply/425017/I-K... Related videos: "If I relapse I will smoke until it kills me." "Get right back in the saddle" The lucky ones get hooked Get Right Back In The Saddle? Joel's views on the common phrase of "Just get back in the saddle" being used when a person relapses. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcEzzFM6c7A Related article: I Know I Will Quit Again http://www.ffn.yuku.com/topic/22978 Related videos: "I know I will quit again." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHp8yF... "If I relapse I will smoke until it kills me." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCRLo9... The lucky ones get hooked http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8XvSi...

Tiffany, although smoking may be a bad habit, it's without any doubt an addiction. We are all addicts and that's all that matters. Smoking is not your friend, not a coping mechanism or an escape and so long as you believe these lies, you're going to continue to make this much harder than what it really is. These false notions will cause you to needlessly suffer and make you think that your missing out on something when in fact, you never got any of these things from smoking. These are the same things that people say who relapse. It's the very reason that I relapsed. I thought it would help me cope and it didn't. I'm not talking out of my ass, I'm talking about of experience. Both of my quits were relatively easy but staying quit proved to be very difficult until I finally accepted that I was and am an addict and smoking did not benefit me in any way shape or form. Jesse doesn't need to internalize anything. All he needs to do is be committed to quitting.