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Well done, Wayne! Hats off to you!

Thanks for sharing this candid and important story @stzr500 And congratulations on your month of being nicotine free. Agreed that nicotine is a very powerful drug. So protect that beautiful and precious quit that you’ve worked so hard for!

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She knows.

Thanks QG. I haven't gotten too far away from this laptop. Time for stupid pills and sleep. I will be here tomorrow. Goodnight. Stew.

I am nearly a month free of this nicotine demon, yes a true false security demon that controlled me for nearly 2 years. I just want to ask a few questions and leave a few comments. Needless to say I can remember the day and nearly time I picked up a pack 7 years free. My mother passed that day at 12:17 pm at age 91. She had a terrific life! I also caught my wife later that day doing something she shouldn't have been doing. Leave it at that. I drove straight to the store and bought a pack. I was broken again. Very stressful year followed and switched to vaping. Vuze 5.0 then 2.4. Just wanted to give a short highlight. To the main topic: This quit is very different. Not to bad on the cravings, first week was tough actually first 5 days. Settled down now. I was hit with something I never had before. Anxiety with derealization and depersonlization which lead to some major panic attacks. Ready to jump out of my skin daily for hours on end and weeks on end. Finally settled a pretty good bit now. I would wake up in the morning praying to God to get me threw the day. I will admit I am a strong person but this time I was thinking I cannot do this or take it anymore. Nearly started again but didn't. I am not kidding when I say I was at the threshold of hell !! The world, life didn't seem real. Let's just say anxiety couldn't have gotten any worse. I wished I would pass out so my mind would reset. It didn't the fker would hold me to the edge and then stop. No to very little relief. I just wanted to land but couldn't. In the last week it has been getting better. I did my homework and checked that quitting vaping could be significantly harder than cigarettes. Go figure a pure straight shot of nicotine out of a 50mg or 24mg vape. Extremely high and it should be illegal. I never new this until I quit. One thing I can say, I never smoked enough until I got nausea like I have with vaping. Thats a crap ton of nicotine. Anyway withdraw was at times felt like my nervous system had the flu.Hard to explain. Just so much more intense. Anyway just want to put this out there that vaping really isn't a better alternative. Just ride the waves the storm will ease up give it time. That is all for now. Take care everyone!!

Thanks, Dave, for the great read. Yea today is for today, future tripping will be saved for a little later... Losing a quit a person has invested such effort in is definitely tough. QSMB June 2016 was almost 8 months, and this last Train ride was 1year and 5 months. There are always excuses a person makes for the reason they relapsed, that reason is really just the addiction finding its way into a person's weakest times. I can't go back and as long as I am quit today, I am ok. Stew.

You will do it Stew!!! I truly believe if you stay on the train, you will achieve your goal like we all have!!!

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Congratulations @Wayne045 10 years is really amazing! What a wonderful accomplishment!! You are a true inspiration to all of us!! Treat yourself!!! All the Best!!

NOPE!!

Gday Stew Sorry owe your an apology for jumping in with the forever bit. Had a real big think of where I was at in those first days and the future could wait as I was definitly living in the now and my days were in bite size pieces. As the days mounted I started to realise how precious my quit had become. I was going to throw away all those hours and days away if I smoked. About day 5 I got a great present from my sweetheart when she asked me if I was smoking. I was pretty chuffed that I’d kept it a secret but part of my didn’t want to fail in front of her if truth be told. She told me she understood it was my battle but not to be a stranger. And she was proud of me. Kinda left a lump in my throat. She brings it up ever now and then and it’s pretty special. Broke my silence and finally showed her the NOPE pledge page just before my 10 th year. She was pretty impressed. I was pretty proud I could impress my Sweety after 48 years. Anyway after that rave Realise that your dragging along others on this life journey they may not always know it but you are important to them. Hang on life’s a great journey

NOPE!!

I didn't realize today was Jillar's quit Anniversary date. Like you @Stewbum, I miss her dearly too. There's many of us in that camp I believe. I hope she knows she helped so many people desperate to quit and how much she is loved It would make her so proud

NOPE for today!

"The phrase 'two steps forward, one step back' means that progress is uneven and slow. While you are generally moving toward your goal, you frequently face setbacks or obstacles that temporarily undo some of your hard work." Many of us know this ChaCha dance and were able to finally get off the dance floor. It's doable for you to stay quit too. You are not broken or flawed. You are a nicotine addict like all of us. In order for your addiction to go dormant and remain so once nicotine is out of your system you cannot smoke. Not one. Every time you smoke you reactivate the nicotine receptors in your brain which quickly tells you they want more, more, more nicotine. Let them die off so it can get easier for you to stay smoke free. Do whatever it takes except smoke to keep moving forward in these early days. Obstacles are temporary. Tell yourself no more setbacks so you can go to bed every night a winner. You got this.

Miss you something fierce My Friend. 10-year Anniversary today. Stewbum

Thanks L4L. Very happy to be here and sad at the same time. Working through Hell week staying busy with readings from the past. Hell week and cravings are not "yet" what they were on the last quit. Emotions of being here seem to be keeping my mind busy. Stew.

NOPE…

Hello shy and welcome, I am on my first month of my final quit of nicotine. All I can tell you is hang in there and it will be a bumpy ride but isn't that why we all are here. I really don't know where to start other than telling you I have been there 3 times where you are and this is the last time. 3 strikes your out for good but it wasn't planned that way. I only gave in for almost 2 years but it has been detrimental. I have a 10 plus year quit and a 7 year quit. Just had a lung scan and all is well. THANK GOD !! and I mean it. I can't even begin to tell you the anxiety and depression and fight or flight or even panic attack's. I had them all. Some people don't get much other than grumpy or something but I had the Heinz 57, believe me. Remember the internet can be your crutch at times. There is a ton of information out there and coping skills to learn. Just remember, you got this and be kind to yourself !!

N.O.P.E.

NOPE

Awesome!!! Congratulations!!! 10 is a grand milestone!!!