Profound

Silly

Joke

Or serious

 

 

 

If a frog had wings would it still bump its ass when it hopped?

 

Father in law always said something similar when someone said something stupid and I would just laugh

Yes.  Because it wouldn't be in flight, therefore, he would still be ambulating via a hop. 

Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and put money in a telescope so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Boobs. Looking down shirts is easier high up.

If Indians had given the pilgrims a donkey

Would be have a piece of ass instead of turkey tomorrow?

Why is it called a big announcement when a chick gets knocked up?

 

We all know your a bunch of horney toads that hump and forget the pull out method is really just a trick.

 

Not calling anyone here a slut. Just saying bed springs and car shocks need replaced not because the man takes a long time.

What if C-A-T really spelled dog..

Wouldn't matter. Still don't shit in a box like the other thing

What with the new drug advertisement with a blind man walking with a dog? They say if your totally blind you might need this drug?

 

If your totally blind, how do you see the man and dog? The name of the drug and all the little words that warn about side effects?

I don't know which drug it but seems they all "may cause headaches....may cause erectile dysfunction".

Women?

Whats the meaning of life? Seriously...

42

Whats the meaning of life? Seriously...

Good question stewie...it's sausages ..of course...

Women?

 

We're the ones hiding the pill bottles 

Why do my clothes keep shrinking?

Why do my clothes keep shrinking?

 

Why do some folk spend hours and hours trying to catch a fish.?

And when they do ..they say wow great and toss it back in the river..

Why do some folk spend hours and hours trying to catch a fish.?

And when they do ..they say wow great and toss it back in the river..

 

As a catch-and-release fisherman, I should have a good answer to that one.  Something poetic about the experience being more important than the catch.  Instead I'll just borrow a line from Mitch Hedberg: we don't want to kill the fish, we just enjoy making them late for stuff.

Aww boo boo...

I wasn't thinking KIll the little fishy...nooo...I was thinking ..just him alone..happy swimming..

I'm sure he doesn't like being pulled from his home ..just to be looked at lol...

You can still take a chair..and have a sleep ..next to a river...x

Exactly why I gave my stuff to the kids this summer. Now I don't even have to wash hands after holding the worm.

 

I know what's next with this group

Aww boo boo...

I wasn't thinking KIll the little fishy...nooo...I was thinking ..just him alone..happy swimming..

I'm sure he doesn't like being pulled from his home ..just to be looked at lol...

You can still take a chair..and have a sleep ..next to a river...x

For what it's worth, I don't typically fish during the spawn. I don't think any species should be interrupted while they're trying to get a little lovin'.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

 

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

 

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

 

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

A little lovin...

 

https://youtu.be/eBRTauJ6I1E

https://youtu.be/VcDy8HEg1QY