July 14, 201511 yr I can't believe I used to smoke. It was so crazy how addicted I was. After so many attempts at "this is it...this is my last pack...I'm not going to the store in the morning. I'm going to drive right by it". Most times, I didn't make it till morning...I went out at 2 am for a pack and my self esteem, courage and confidence becoming weaker and weaker. I was frequently angry with myself for not having willpower. This also spilled out into other areas in my life...going to get more organized..going to lose weight and start exercising...going to do this, going to do that. I didn't do squat. It was a vicious cycle. I do blame everything on the smoking. Why not? When we quit....we blame everything on the quit. LOL....But even that...the struggles in the quit were not because I quit. But because I smoked to begin with. I used to be a confident person. Slowly, as time went on and I continued to smoke..my confidence in myself and my strength went south. I doubted my instincts, my abilities, and my strength. Why wouldn't I? I was a weakling, after all. It wasn't until I researched about nicotine addiction and read up about how I don't need to be stronger than the addiction....but I do need to be smarter. It's really as simple as that. Change how you see things. Education is the key....hands down baby! I am loving this journey! I never thought I could be a non smoker, and to be a happy non smoker was even more unbelievable. I always thought that if I quit smoking, I would have to give up something. A part of myself. The part that believed in the cigarette...I believed it was my friend and helped me. I thought I enjoyed it. OMG....looking back now it's so foreign and ridiculous. I just finished a mud run....Rugged Maniac. Did the whole course except for 1 obstacle I chose to pass on. Next year I will tackle that one. I am pretty proud of myself. I would have NEVER have even attempted such a thing had I been a smoker. I have my confidence back...and now I just want to keep going...keep challenging myself and see how far I can go. All because I quit smoking. It all started there.
July 15, 201511 yr Nicely done!! Looks like fun - surrounded by healthy, happy people (not creeping outside to sneak drags of poison). Well-put on the confidence element. I was a confident kid and a confident adolescent - - - smoking robbed me of that self-esteem. It feels so great to be finding it once again. I have my body back! And my spirit. I already said it twice but congrats AGAIN ------> on 3 years and a successful mud run.
July 15, 201511 yr The part where you say, you thought you'd lose yourself but go on to explain you actually found yourself! Yeah that!! They should preach that from the hilltops in smoking cessation clinics shouldn't they?! That run looks mad but awesome Babs, great job! 3 years I already said elsewhere but it's inspiring, so thank you. x
July 16, 201511 yr Author It's really was a lot of fun! So scary at first....but with each obstacle I gained a little more confidence...especially the really high walls I had to climb over...I am afraid of heights and I did it! The Mud was crazy...thick...very thick..and people kept actually getting stuck. When you would help someone get their leg out because it was quick sand....then YOU would get stuck....that was the worst part of it.....you actually had to just "swim" in the thick mud to get anywhere...then Run with about 20 extra pounds of mud hanging on ya...lol....but I loved it and can't wait to do it again. Even though every day I wake up with a new bruise and I can't seem to shake this tired feeling and my back is hurting...haha.
July 17, 201511 yr Babs, you need a jacuzzi, a hot stone massage and a night of deep sleep. Then wake up with some very gentle yoga stretching, maybe an easy walk but no a full on workouts. It sounds like that hog pile did some minor damage.
July 17, 201511 yr Author Babs, you need a jacuzzi, a hot stone massage and a night of deep sleep. Then wake up with some very gentle yoga stretching, maybe an easy walk but no a full on workouts. It sounds like that hog pile did some minor damage. You are so right! I do need all of the above. I'm so tired still and achy. Oh and I also have a huge gash in an area that you can imagine if I say it kills me to do sit-ups. Ouch! It was the mudslide thing. TGIF! Going to relaxxxxx I think I'm still 25. My body says no u aren't. Lol
July 17, 201511 yr I LOVE this post. Thank you for sharing and congrats on everything you have done and continue to do! :) Extremely proud of you babs and I definitely look up to you for inspiration!
July 23, 201511 yr Author Rugged maniac! ive heard about this! Was it as tough as i have heard? it was tough! Not as tough as the Tough Mudder....but tougher than the Mudderella.....and I loved every minute of it
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