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WK/46 Group Discussion - How To Recognize If You're Romanticizing The Cigarette

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What are some examples of thinking that should send up a red flag that somebody is romanticizing smoking?  As we know, relapse is always planned and usually starts with romancing the cigarette well before conscience choice to take a puff is made.

 

Since I will always be a nicotine addict I must expect, detect and then reject any thoughts of romancing smoking because if I start to entertain those thoughts, the seed of relapse will be planted.

 

Any thoughts that smoking somehow benefits you in any way is a red flag.

 

If you think that it's too hard to stay quit is another good one.  It's harder to smoke and maintain the constant state of withdrawal than it is to break the addiction once and forever.

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If I could just have a cigarette, I could calm down and figure this out...

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My 'romancing' has evolved. It used to be about all of the things above.

 

Then it became an irrational want, even an ache. It was almost as though the junkie knew it could not win a rational argument, so tried something else.

 

Still occasionally the image of sitting on a sunny terrace somewhere, overlooking the beach with a drink and a cigarette comes to mind as 'on holiday' and this appeals. All I then do is roll forward the day in my mind; stepping out of the romantic meal to get my fix. Using mouthwash to freshen my breath, being out of puff as I climb the stairs back to the room....these realities soon chase the picture away.

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I always thought smoking would get me through all life's troubles...

Allen Carr helped me look at this in a totally different light....I never considered my self a drug addict....

I think all my romancing disappeared once this had sunk in....

Also,watching someone spend 16 hours of everyday....hooked up to a oxygen machine...

Takes all the romance away...when ever I think of a smoke now....I look in his direction.....it goes very quickly....

Xxxxxx

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After finishing a chore, sit down and relax with a smoke...

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When I'm crisis, I think I need a cigarette to get me through but it only worsens the destructive thinking and IN FACT: I think later on NO I don't really enjoy smoking so why smoke?

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I know in the past, whenever I started fixating on that one cigarette, I was in danger of relapse. Obsessing over that one cigarette that I can really remember making me "feel good" ...more than likely it was a moment where I had to go a long period of time without smoking...which is why it made me feel good...or during a night of drinking...that was always another. Again..another illusion. I feel good NOW..as a non smoker. As a matter of fact...I feel great. I don't drink...or if i do...it's rare these days.

 

Nothing to romance. :) It was all an illusion....one big fat liar. Just me, myself, and I...and I love it that way. There is no substance on this earth that makes me feel good except good fuel and exercise...proper sleep...and a healthy, positive attitude. That's it in a nutshell.

 

The unhealthy romance between me and big bad tobacco is OVER.

 

My blinders are off and tossed in the trash.

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ANY thought you may have

 

that doesn't immediately

 

represent smoking as an

 

Addictive Deadly Poison

  ( that will enslave you within puffs)

               

                    is

 

               A Big Fat Lie.

 

Save your Romance for LOVE.

 

(edited to add)

 

Once I educated myself, the romance for nicotine was dead Dead D E A D.

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As we all know I romanced the cigarette at around my 7 month quit, and to me, it was a small thought in the back of my head that I allowed to grow, and the more it grew the more it was all I could think about 24/7, thinking just one, just to see, I was testing myself, telling myself that I missed the cigarette, that I missed smoking, I deliberately put myself with someone who smoked who I knew would offer me one, without me actually asking for one, so then I could lay the blame at someone else's door.  The addiction took me back.  As soon as that thought appears show it the door,  NO is all it takes, xxx

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Jackie...

This was a brilliant honest post....it was a great reminder....thank you sweetheart....

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My experience is much the same as Jackie's. I quit more than 7 months ago. I frequently want a cigarette-- I think about it every day. But then I quickly chase that thought from my head and go on about my life. The "thought" never rises to the level of a "crave" and does not pose a danger. For me, the danger comes in when I start obsessing about a cigarette. I start thinking about it and wanting it and I can't seem to shake the thought. It keeps plaguing me hour after hour, day after day until it wears me down. I don't WANT to smoke, but I can't stand this corrosive, constant fantasizing about cigarettes. That is why I relapsed (in the past, that is)-- I was trying to quiet that voice.  

 

Now when I start to obsess about smoking, I have learned to ask myself what is bothering me in my life and why? Why am I feeling tense or anxious or bored or tired? When I have identified what I am feeling and why, then I take steps to dissipate those feelings. Perhaps exercise (which is good for whatever ails you) or more sleep or meditation or call a friend or something. Basically, my brain is used to using cigarettes to deal with any distressing emotion so that I don't actually have to deal with things. Now I know that I have to take conscious, active steps to resolve my problems and then my cigarette obsession magically stops.

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After a while, you think you are super solid in your quit and then think, "well I can smoke socially.  It doesn't mean I'll start smoking all the time again."  WRONG!  As a nicotine addict, just that one puff, just one will send you back into a world of jonesing for a smoke every 30-45 minutes or so.  You cannot smoke EVER.  If a crave hits, accept it for what it is, tell it to go away, and move on.  Done.  Think about how much better you feel without a cigarette.  Instead of romancing the cigarette, see it as Death came a callin.

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There is no such thing as ...I'll just have one.......

If I could just have one.....I wouldn't be here.......I am a addict.....

Not one puff ever.....it's the only way.........why risk it......

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I knew I had COMPLETELY banished any thoughts of smoking again when I pulled my winter coat out, put it on (it reeked of stale smoke even though it had been to the dry cleaners) and I found a lighter in my pocket.

The only feeling I had was a twinge of sadness for that girl who was addicted. The girl who stood outside in snowstorms to get her fix. The girl who almost had a seizure if she couldn't find a lighter.

The coat got donated to charity. The lighter got thrown in the junk drawer for the bbq.

And I ordered a new Canada Goose coat! :)

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Great story, Julie. I think you were smart to donate that coat to charity. And hey, some of that $3,252 you saved on cigarettes should absolutely go for a new Canada Goose coat. Clean, warm and patriotic all at once!  :)

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I am now; for the times I smoked with my ex-gf... she's coming over!

I realise I'm strong in my quit

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Oh my Goodness there is the me of the past almost 4 years ago, I could cry I could have been 4 years nearly quit by now if I hadn't let the addiction take over again. Really needed to see this. Here I am at the start again, I shall keep referring back to this when that addiction starts calling again, just to remind myself that I don't want to be writing a similar post like this in 4 years time! No more groundhog day! xx

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Thinking that nothing tastes better than coffee with a cigarette. That cigarettes are always there for me. That they make me look like a badass diva. Smoker-me used to be so stupid. 

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In truth, there is NOTHING  smoking can offer you

other than a statistically probable ugly and painful death for you and the terror for your family witnessing your demise.

Check this out also

Red Flags

Edited by Sazerac
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Bump this forward ...hope it helps some folk ...

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On 10/17/2018 at 11:10 AM, Sazerac said:

In truth, there is NOTHING  smoking can offer you

other than a statistically probable ugly and painful death for you

and the terror for your family witnessing your demise.

Check this out also

Red Flags

 

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