smoked 3 cigarettes after 8 days quit, after break up

[Elena]

my boyfriend broke up with me today, he is a mean narcissist who wants to trample my confidence

already 4 years like this, him just abandoning me every other week

this ofcourse a huge trigger for smoking

i dont know if its the right time to quit

its al so depressing

[despair not]

Hi Elena

Sorry to hear your difficulties.

Why not quit again but this time quit your boyfriend and your cigs.

 

Sounds like both of them are bad for you and your life could be better without them both.

 

Goodluck the time is always right to quit bad habits.

[Elena]

thank you, 

 

i like your advice, and you are probably right. but it's so difficult if you are feeling you don't have firm ground to stand on 

[despair not]

True we all need something to rely on isn't there anyone you can get support from friends or family.?

 

The people here are very supportive but it's harder if you don't know the ins and outs of a person's circumstances.

 

I'm sure others will offer their support here soon.

 

I always think if you are in a bad situation then why compound it by damaging your health and finances by smoking it's like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

 

I hope you get back on then quit train now or in the near future once your situation is steadier.

 

Edited February 2 by despair not

[Reciprocity]

I understand you're upset at the break-up but in days, weeks & months to come you'll likely reflect on this as a good thing.

You don't want to be tied to a narcissistic jerk for life; that's for sure - YOU DESERVE BETTER!!

 

Same applies to your future life with regard to smoking. You KNOW smoking is a danger to your health long term not to mention to your finances so why would you choose to continue to be a smoker? Makes as little sense as continuing on with a partner who mistreats you. Again; YOU DESERVE BETTER BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT!

You quit smoking for yourself; period, full stop! No one else really benefits from it like you do so please consider getting back on the train with us and continuing with your quit. 

 

Why not swallow all the bitter pills at once and start looking forward to a much, much better life in all respects> Please think about this seriously. Your life could depend on it.

[QuittingGirl]

Very sorry you are going through a breakup, but it sounds like you are much better off without him!! You certainly don't need anyone who is gonna bring you down!!  Quitting smoking is difficult enough, and you don't need him in your life, if he isn't going to encourage you!  Take a deep breath!! Ok, now just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again!  You can do it!!  We are all here for you.  The people on here are great, they helped me so much and they will help you but you need to come on here every day and read all the advice and vent or complain to us, that's what we are here for.  We all remember what it was like in the beginning of our quit.  I am quit only 8 months so hasn't been that long for me and the first couple of months were very difficult, but I got through it and so can you!!

[DenaliBlues]

Hi, Elena. I am so very sorry to hear that you are going through a painful separation. Been there. I'm glad you posted here, to let us know what's happening and to share that you smoked. For what it's worth, a few thoughts: 

 

- Many years ago I, too, spent a long time agonizing over a partner's hurtful behavior and mean spirit. Until one day a friend looked at me in exasperation and said, "Why on earth would you still want to be with someone who treated you so badly? Good riddance to bad rubbish if you ask me!" At the time I was totally indignant that my friend would say something so insensitive. But then it hit me over the head that I could be free of the agony if I truly detached from the person who was making me suffer. I literally saw stars. And my life started to get better. Immediately.

 

- Smoking never brought back anyone we lost. It never righted a wrong. It never filled a hole that was empty. It never healed a broken heart. All it does is make us feel lousy for smoking on top of whatever other crap we're wrestling with. The addiction knows when we're vulnerable and uses that as a moment to pounce. We have to fight back.

 

I'm not in your shoes and would never presume to speak for your experience. But it is possible that smoking, itself, is driving - or at least intensifying - your feelings of despair. Smoking powerfully undermines a person's sense of self worth. The idea that it will somehow soothe us is a false promise. The feeling never lasts and we just end up feeling lower than before. Addiction also thrives best in isolation. So stay connected to us, and to others.

 

Please don't give in Elena. Find your ferocity and reclaim your quit! And please be kind to yourself along the way. We're here to help.

 

 

Edited February 3 by DenaliBlues

[intoxicated yoda]

@Elenait's never the right time to quit and it's always the right time to quit.  do yourself a favor and don't put this off on your ex boyfriend.  he is whatever he is and if he wants out let him go.  there will always be tragedies to derail your quit.  it's like being a boat on the sea.  no matter how rough the sea gets the water in the sea doesn't sink the boat.  it's the water you let in the boat that sinks it.  own your addiction and make you the priority.  you will surprise yourself.

[Gus]

Hi Elena. There’s this old song titled, “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair”. You go do that. You go get in the shower and wash him and the stench of those cigarettes right out of your hair. You don’t need either one of them. Smoking kills and your ex is a killjoy. Time to let them both go. I hope that you hang around here and get your quit back on. The sooner you do it the easier it will be. Time to be free. 

[Doreensfree]

Aww Sweetheart , I’m sorry you having to deal with just at the start of your quit …I get it …of course you feel off course …

Your partner should be someone who supports and has your best interest at heart …and makes you feel the best you can ..

Your ex sounds none of these things ..

You deserve  to be happy and respected …

There is someone out there who can do all these things for you …

concentrate on yourself … your in control …quit for you 

Dust down …and start again ..

[Ushie]

I know it's hard but stay committed to the quit. You'll have more dating options when you're ready to replace him and you'll look your best smoke free.  Alot of guys actually told me they would go out with me if I didn't smoke. Alot of good prospects that I missed because I chose cigarettes. Good luck!

[DenaliBlues]

Just checking in, Elena. Let us know how you are doing…