Ever since I have quit smoking, my temper is noticeably shorter.  I have always been somewhat of a perfectionist.  But I'm usually a patient perfectionist.  I like for things to be done right and if they aren't, then I usually feel like it's an educational issue.  However, lately my train of thinking has gone from being it's an educational deficit to feeling like it's either someone being lazy or just down right stupid. 

 

And I am getting mad about it rather easily.  I'm lashing out at people.  But what is bothering me is I'm lashing out at my son.  And I have never been like this to him.  Today, he didn't clean the kitchen and I just went off on him.  Never noticing that he mowed the whole back pasture and that's why he didn't do the kitchen. At first I could blame it on me not smoking.  But now, it's not that at all.  I'm not sure why I'm doing it.  It's not like I'm craving to smoke or even wanting to.  But I'm just getting so angry and it comes on so quickly.  And it's not limited to just him, although he does get the brunt of it.  But I'm doing it at the office too.  I had to go for a walk the other day cause one of the girls did something I thought was so freaking idiotic that I wanted to just rip into her.  And normally I would have just asked her why she did it and dealt with it like that........I am having a hard time not getting mad.  Used to..... I could get irritated easily and then it would go away.  Now...... I am going well past irritation and I'm having a hard time controlling my anger.

 

Is this part of it and it's going to calm down or is this the "new" me without smoking ?  Cause if it's the latter, I don't want this.  I don't want to be like this.  I'm afraid I'm causing a drift between my little guy and myself.  If it's part of this quit process, then I'll try to be more patient.  And alot more apologetic.

I just wondered if anyone else has been like this.  Or if it's just me and I'm now a raving lunatic when angry ?

You need to smile beautiful, and enjoy your new smoke free life.  :)

I think you have to learn a new way to control your anger. Formerly we knew we could smoke and then deal with the issue or deal with it and smoke as a reward. 

 

I don't have an answer for you, my temper is shorter and I'm less tolerant then I was! The temper part however was part of the phasing, I have learnt to take breaths while stupid people are talking to me, on the sly and so I can manage myself. I found it helped to cut some people out too, so I could concentrate on those left but that might just be me. 

 

xx

You sound a lot like me, both before and after my quit. I believe that I have finally found the new me, and he's not too bad, no where near what I was like in the first 6 months of my quit.

 

You are doing so great Tiff, everything will come right in the end - I promise ;)

I agree with action....it does start to calm down....it does happen to a lot of us.......

When we got angry or upset over something,we would just go off and have a fix.

My nature has been always so lay back,I nearly fall over.....

But for a while I was a Rottweiler.....

Explain to your little folk,why you get cross sometimes,and give a hug.....

Soon enough ,you will be your sweet self again....

Oh WHY DONT YOU JUST ......... OFF!

 

Only kidding Tiff.

 

I agree with the guys above - it does even out - eventually the absence of toxins makes you more balanced, more confident in yourself and therefore more tolerant...

 

It IS part of the process and does get better.

Give it time it should get better, if it gets to a point that it is not improving after more then 6 months theres no harm chatting with your doc, you might just need to learn a new way of handing it, maybe try join some type of boxing or kick boxing or get a boxing bag and when you feel your blood rise go box it out of you or go sprint as fast as you can to get your adrenalin up and thenhave a bath, you are sooo use to walking awaay and having a smoke to give you time to calm down before dealing with thd issus, you just need to retrain yourself, try walk away and sit down with a cuppa or shot of something strong and then go back in, try make yourself wait and think before reacting. That's what I am forcing myself to do and it's helping.

Oh and make sure to hug your little man and say how sorry you are for shouting and tell him how much you love him and you didn't mean it, always after upsetting him cos kids are sooo forgiving, he will understand and be grateful you did it.

Slow down.

I'm a bit more short tempered these days too. Perhaps not as bad as my first week, but I do understand where you're coming from.

They tell us it gets better and that this will pass. I believe. :)

 

Lord grand me patience, but hurry?

Hang in there! 

I agree with everyone else Tiff, you're detoxing still and it really will calm down.

 

You may be pleased to learn that when you find ' your own way' of managing your emotions you will be calmer than you ever remember- not the drugged up to the eyeballs ciggy false calm. It's all good in the end.

Tiff I can be quite a sharp person if something or someone irritates me I am still the same person sure in the beginning my fuse was a lot shorter but over time i came to realise that sometimes i need time out before reacting

 

smoking gave us that little time out, those few minutes to calm down and reason in our heads so now I just go for a walk if its really bad but most times just taking a few minutes to sit somewhere and give yourself timeout can make all the difference

 

it took me a while to work out what was going on and what was needed

 

I say in my head now time out needed just walk off and then come back to the situation, it takes a little practice but it has worked for me and others around me

 

you will find your balance but you are recognising whats going on and thats half the battle as now you can do things about it, just explain to your son that you are still adjusting and its not personal

 

hugs hun xxxxx

All above are wrong. You are now the but head you always were but hid it. Smoking made you nice and everyone liked being around you. Now your mean and that's just the way it is. You can't change it, it will always be like this and sooner or later everyone will hate you for quiting and becoming BUTHEAD.

Believe me? Is this what you want to hear? Searching for reason to go back to former cool smoker ?

 

Chemicals control everything about you. You removed a bunch. Body needs to adjust. In meantime I believe best advise was SLOW DOWN. And everything will relax with it.

Slow down and think things out.  ARe they really that big of a deal?

 

Life is short... enjoy it.

Tiff I experienced the same thing I found myself going from zero to b**ch and jumping down people's throats really quickly. What I did to alleviate the situation is just walk away for a few minutes and regroup. If it is at home (and I have the small kids here so I did this a lot... a lot...) before you react go into another room, put a pillow over your face and scream it out to the pillow. I explained to my oldest (8) that I was quitting a highly addictive drug and that I may not be so nice for awhile. As much as we say this over and over it does pass and get better, I still have a short temper but I find myself not being at risk of being tried for a class A felony most days unlike a few months ago where I was ready to tear people's faces off. 

I know certain times this isn't an option but if you can come here... go to the vent thread... type your anger out... that helps too.

Hi Tiff definitely got to agree slow down, your body is still adjusting I'm sure you son will understand that mom is learning to live life as a non smoker and he will be happier that you don't smoke although you may be slightly shorter fused for a little while, I explained this to everyone around me and apologised in advance if I was moody and mean, as time has gone on and I have re-adjusted I find I deal with situations so much better and I don't fly off the handle as much, because I am not stressing about smoking to calm me down, it will come Tiff all you have to remember is that what you are doing is going to be much more beneficial to your family, sure they would rather have mum around who is slightly crabby for a longer time, than a mum who smokes, smells and may be gone too soon xxx

I really thank y'all. I think you may be right. I have been going non stop since I have stopped. But then again, I was busy before I quit too. The difference is I would go smoke to relax.

 

I need to take some time and relax throughout the day. Without smoking.

 

And I think I need to talk to my son more....... I love him too much to continue on this path of yelling at him.

tiffany the anger will ease up with time  find some you and wesly time go to the park or on a walk with him  im sure he knows you love him    it will be ok  relax in a  pool or just take a  solo bubble bath   your doing great me and my wife through this anger thing to so your doing great  :D :wub:

Tiffany,

I think you need an outlet to release stress.  Exercise?  Play with Carlo the goat?  Funny videos?  

 

Is this part of it and it's going to calm down or is this the "new" me without smoking ?  Cause if it's the latter, I don't want this.  I don't want to be like this. 

A junkie will latch onto any rationalization, Tiffany.

 

Recognize what you are doing here.

 

You're giving yourself a "valid" reason to give up the quit.

 

Stop that shit right now.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy