Some of you know I was really struggling last night. I did go and buy cigarettes last night, have not smoked at yet but I am very close to doing so.

Toss them Linda they not going to help! Go for walk ...practice breathing....do not give up this quit you worked so hard for and you did work for it. Honor that work and take smoking off the table...it no longer for you! Stay here with us on the quit. 

Put them in a drawer, if it makes you less panicky about not having access. THAT is what I did. I have access, but I choose not to smoke them. If that rationale doesn’t work for you, throw them away, as Dianne said. You have built up some real time. Just for today, don’t light up! Worry about tomorrow, we’ll….tomorrow. Keep your quit! You’ve earned it!

@Linda, keeping those cigarettes on hand is only going to make the constant thoughts of smoking start all over again IF you don't do worse and lose your quit to them.....

Some people can just put them in a drawer like katgirl can but I don't think you're one of them only because you've relapsed several times. Hopefully I'm wrong,........

Thanks is cat girl for the kind words

2 hours ago, Linda said:

Some of you know I was really struggling last night. I did go and buy cigarettes last night, have not smoked at yet but I am very close to doing so.

 

Linda, you need to stop thinking that a cigarette will help alleviate the tough circumstances that life dumps on you.   will continue to happen occasionally throughout your life.  But do you really think that smoking will make things any better?

In the first 14 months of my quit my brother died of COPD. My son was in a devastating car accident and was hospitalized for 7 weeks in critical condition.  He still suffers some disabilities.  My 4 month old granddaughter died of SIDS. There will always be pain and heartbreak in life.  It is a part of life we must deal with.  It helps us to appreciate the good times even more.

Stay true to your commitment no matter what curveball life throws at you. And above all, THROW THOSE DAMN CIGARETTES AWAY!

@jillar you are probably not wrong, infact you are probably right.,but I can't keep doing this thanks for the support

@BKPSorry for all your losses and difficulties, and thanks for the kind words. I know I am the only one in control of this and right now my control is in the dark hole

The balls in your court now @Linda, what are you going to do? I'd love to see you soak them in water and post a pic of it here so everyone can see how strong you've become....

@BKP, I'm so sorry all that happened to you and your family 😢

@jillarI know the ball is in my court, and I wish I was that strong but I'm not right now. And I can't waste anymore of all time of all you kind people trying to help me

Didn't you post this item in the 'Thought Foe The Day' thread mere hours ago?

It speaks pretty directly to what you're experiencing at the moment.

 

"Your struggle is your strength

If you can resist becoming 

negative bitter or hopeless

in time your struggles will

give you everything"

@reciprocity yes I did, trying to take myself from where I'm at.

I am so sorry Linda you struggling so right now....keeping you in my prayers *hugs*  This has helped me a few times along the way ...maybe it will help you as well  https://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_CaringForYourQuit.html

 

Edited May 24, 20215 yr by Dianne

There is only one reason we go out and buy smokes, right?

Might as well light up and smoke'em up  now ... its gonna happen real soon now, anyway, right?

 

Why struggle?

Go ahead.

You know you want to ... 

 

 

EZPZ

 

 

1 hour ago, sgt.barney said:

There is only one reason we go out and buy smokes, right?

Might as well light up and smoke'em up  now ... its gonna happen real soon now, anyway, right?

 

Why struggle?

Go ahead.

You know you want to ... 

 

 

EZPZ

 

 

Seems counterproductive advice! 

@Katgirl That is what I thought too!!! About that advice. Buying those cigarettes was when I had my little melt down and was a few days ago. So I'm glad someone else agreed with me

You're doing great @Linda and yes that was already almost a week ago now! 

The purpose of this group is to support each other and encourage each other to keep our quits, and not through sarcasm or shaming. I don’t know Sgt. Barney, (though he shares his name with my dog 😂, whom I love very much), but I ‘m pretty sure I don’t want to, if that’s the kind of advice he gives to people who are struggling.

10 minutes ago, Katgirl said:

The purpose of this group is to support each other and encourage each other to keep our quits, and not through sarcasm or shaming. 

Sgt. barney is pretty much known for his tough love approach to supporting members. Some really appreciate it, more so down the road when their quits are more secure. But he does tend to be pretty in your face like you would expect a Sgt to be.

We always say take what you want and leave the rest.....

8 minutes ago, jillar said:

Sgt. barney is pretty much known for his tough love approach to supporting members. Some really appreciate it, more so down the road when their quits are more secure. But he does tend to be pretty in your face like you would expect a Sgt to be.

We always say take what you want and leave the rest.....

Nothing worth taking in his advice to Linda…., but I understand your point. I will keep that in mind, in the future. 

The sarge usually comes here with strong powerful advice ..straight to the point ...

He has I'm sure saved alot of quits in the past ...but it doesn't suit all ...

Some folks need the slap with a feather approach.....and that works ....

We are all different ....🐸

 

I realize this is an old post but I want to weigh in as I think discussions are important.  Having a variety of opinions from ex smokers will help Linda , others and lurkers reading , take away something that will help them succeed and not cave to the crave .

 

I think all testimony is valuable from day 1 to 1001 to 10,001 to lurkers , newcomers and elders  seeking education and support for their first kick at the can or their tenth attempt at quitting or a solid quit .   We are all one mistake away from a puff , then a pack a day . 

 

All advise should be taken with gratefulness in mind and not judged . We all have different personalities and this is why support groups work so great ! One day those words we didn't think were in love because it's not our personality or we think we're tough love may save mine or your quit  . We are all different and this is what's makes a good support group . No one would be responding if they didn't care . Take everything offered in because one day you will use all of this support given to keep quit . 

 

My experience on this topic was this :   Saving cigs was torture ! I thought I could be strong and that saving them ( just two ) would make me strong , but it was fear that had me saving them and panic not knowing if I could live my life without them . Having them handy if I changed my mind were the reasons I kept them . Yes panic subsided for the moment but unfortunatly there was a next time . Like Searge says , it was a matter of time  and yes I lost my quit . 

So the next quit .... I thought more about what went wrong ,  I read and heard testimony . 

People who don't smoke don't keep cigs in the house so I began thinking like that person who never smoked .

The anxiety was still there , but in time I learned I didn't need those cigarettes . It was a mind game that addiction was playing . He'd done it in so many ways , tricked me back to smoking .  Addiction will decieve you and make you think saving them is a good thing . If we give them attention , cigarettes  will still be totally in control of our lives forever .  Stop allowing yourself to be brainwashed by addiction I told myself ,  it's not what you really want . You are here to quit smoking , learn from others . Let your brain heal and make new pathways . Pathways that lead to non addiction and freedom and so I let every word people offered permeate my mind heart and soul . 

 

Linda I understand the impulse , the crave so strong that you bought them . I understand that pain . I remember it like yesterday . I bought three packages on those kinds of days , walked to the store and .. I threw them all away unopened when I realized the power they had over me was torture . I threw them away and took my power back . I was in control but not an anger type control . We think control is to be strong and demanding , but its one of peace and love that's control . 

 

Linda , the choice is always yours of course and the goal is to keep your quit . Sometimes support is telling you the truth even when you don't want to hear it.  You can take something you want to hear and possibly lose your quit or take something you didn't like to hear and possibly keep your quit . Sometimes you will find that truth hurts too ,  but it helps one succeed .

 

From past long timer testimonies I've read when I started my quit ten years ago most told in all their wonderful unique ways told me to douce those things , get rid of em , be proud you didn't smoke them , post don't smoke  , don't buy , bum , beg , or borrow cigs its borrowing trouble . I remember myself saying don't romance them , don't dine with em , they'll leave you one hefty bill to pay . They thrive off of those who won't let them go , who will welcome them back into the relationship withba knock at the door . Take your power back by showing them that you take authority over your quit and will succeed . Close the door to their advances l it's your temple , your house l 

 

My vote if you want my opinion is to to douce them ,  my advise is ... don't give them away to someone else cause someone else doesn't want to quit . Don't pass on death sticks . Douce them one by one  . It's best money you have ever thrown away in your life and totally worth it . 

 

I hope you continue to grow your quit like a sunflower reaching for the sky and the doors of opportunity and joy will open wide greeting you to a new smoke free life just as you were born to have .  Write that list of things you've always wanted to try but didn't , now is the time to do them . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 31, 20215 yr by Abby

@Abby Thank you for sharing, that certainly gave me lot to think about!!!

@Abby well said.  I am always amazed how someone can beautifully express their own feelings and reach out and touch someone who is struggling.  I think that is why this forum was where I could finally find my quit.  Linda, we all want to help and hope that we can give you some piece of advice that will work for you and get you through one more day.

2 hours ago, Abby said:

I realize this is an old post but I want to weigh in as I think discussions are important.  Having a variety of opinions from ex smokers will help Linda , others and lurkers reading , take away something that will help them succeed and not cave to the crave .

 

I think all testimony is valuable from day 1 to 1001 to 10,001 to lurkers , newcomers and elders  seeking education and support for their first kick at the can or their tenth attempt at quitting or a solid quit .   We are all one mistake away from a puff , then a pack a day . 

 

All advise should be taken with gratefulness in mind and not judged . We all have different personalities and this is why support groups work so great ! One day those words we didn't think were in love because it's not our personality or we think we're tough love may save mine or your quit  . We are all different and this is what's makes a good support group . No one would be responding if they didn't care . Take everything offered in because one day you will use all of this support given to keep quit . 

 

My experience on this topic was this :   Saving cigs was torture ! I thought I could be strong and that saving them ( just two ) would make me strong , but it was fear that had me saving them and panic not knowing if I could live my life without them . Having them handy if I changed my mind were the reasons I kept them . Yes panic subsided for the moment but unfortunatly there was a next time . Like Searge says , it was a matter of time  and yes I lost my quit . 

So the next quit .... I thought more about what went wrong ,  I read and heard testimony . 

People who don't smoke don't keep cigs in the house so I began thinking like that person who never smoked .

The anxiety was still there , but in time I learned I didn't need those cigarettes . It was a mind game that addiction was playing . He'd done it in so many ways , tricked me back to smoking .  Addiction will decieve you and make you think saving them is a good thing . If we give them attention , cigarettes  will still be totally in control of our lives forever .  Stop allowing yourself to be brainwashed by addiction I told myself ,  it's not what you really want . You are here to quit smoking , learn from others . Let your brain heal and make new pathways . Pathways that lead to non addiction and freedom and so I let every word people offered permeate my mind heart and soul . 

 

Linda I understand the impulse , the crave so strong that you bought them . I understand that pain . I remember it like yesterday . I bought three packages on those kinds of days , walked to the store and .. I threw them all away unopened when I realized the power they had over me was torture . I threw them away and took my power back . I was in control but not an anger type control . We think control is to be strong and demanding , but its one of peace and love that's control . 

 

Linda , the choice is always yours of course and the goal is to keep your quit . Sometimes support is telling you the truth even when you don't want to hear it.  You can take something you want to hear and possibly lose your quit or take something you didn't like to hear and possibly keep your quit . Sometimes you will find that truth hurts too ,  but it helps one succeed .

 

From past long timer testimonies I've read when I started my quit ten years ago most told in all their wonderful unique ways told me to douce those things , get rid of em , be proud you didn't smoke them , post don't smoke  , don't buy , bum , beg , or borrow cigs its borrowing trouble . I remember myself saying don't romance them , don't dine with em , they'll leave you one hefty bill to pay . They thrive off of those who won't let them go , who will welcome them back into the relationship withba knock at the door . Take your power back by showing them that you take authority over your quit and will succeed . Close the door to their advances l it's your temple , your house l 

 

My vote if you want my opinion is to to douce them ,  my advise is ... don't give them away to someone else cause someone else doesn't want to quit . Don't pass on death sticks . Douce them one by one  . It's best money you have ever thrown away in your life and totally worth it . 

 

I hope you continue to grow your quit like a sunflower reaching for the sky and the doors of opportunity and joy will open wide greeting you to a new smoke free life just as you were born to have .  Write that list of things you've always wanted to try but didn't , now is the time to do them . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

^^^ this ^^^^