Each to his own. I stand by my original reaction to someone egging on another to go ahead and smoke. Tough love is great for perhaps a drug addict who steals from family and friends, in order to support his habit. By all means, throw your own kid in jail, if that’s the case.That is a situation that calls for tough love!  But Nicotine addicts are different. We are all victims of The billion dollar tobacco industry and their years of advertising. When I was a kid, it was normal to see every adult on TV shows smoking, making it look normal, and even fashionable. We are victims. Victims should be cared for lovingly., IMHO. So, any advice I give will be honest, and from the heart, designed to help, not shame or ridicule. 
 

KAT

On 5/30/2021 at 6:56 PM, Katgirl said:

Seems counterproductive advice! 

Seems counter intuitive to buy something and not use it ... 

6 minutes ago, sgt.barney said:

Seems counter intuitive to buy something and not use it ... 

Not everyone  thinks the same way. I bought a brand new pack of cigs, smoked one last time, then put the other 19 left in the pack away. Why? Because I did not want to feel panicked around not having any, if I got a craving. It’s about control. I need the control over the situation. I choose not to smoke. Having easy access does not change or weaken that thought. It actually strengthens it. Different strokes for different folks. 

1 minute ago, Katgirl said:

Not everyone  thinks the same way

 

Right?

 

Maybe one day it will dawn on you what is happening here.

Until then ...

 

EZPZ

2 minutes ago, sgt.barney said:

 

Right?

 

Maybe one day it will dawn on you what is happening here.

Until then ...

 

EZPZ

Well, I can tell you one thing that is not happening. I have not smoked in 21 days and counting. Isn’t that all that really matters? My way works , for me….

@Linda  

 

Some more reading material in regards to your topic . Thank you so much for posting . This is a very important discussion. I'm enjoying reading the responses and learning . The key here is to share our quit experiences and the knowledge we've learned to help you help yourself . We are not professionals . Only you can take what you need and use it to keep your quit or take away nothing and choose to smoke.

You own your quit . The choice is always yours . You know what to do with those cigs you kept back because the answer lies within you , not us . You knew why you bought them and what you'll do with them but what I hope you learned most is that it is your decisions every day are what will determine the outcome of your quit . 

 

The solution to beat addiction is by the action we take one day at a time . 

 

This discussion sparked me into reading more and I'll likely continue through out my day researching during coffee break . I have a great interest now in helping teens quit . One puff got us started , one cigarette led to a pack then to years of smoking  The more I can learn how addicts think the better . Many of us have suffered the consequences and its led us to a last resort to quit and hopefully it will restore some of the damage it and we caused to ourselves . I know in my case quitting has totally changed my life physically and emotionally from thinking more clearly , less quick to become angry , a peace beyond understanding , from being unable to handle stress to accepting it and coping with it to my physical health being better than it has in years .  I want to share that you can do this k , find your way and don't look back . 

 

I hope it's ok to post this link below ? 

It's just more info for folks tool boxes .

 

I understand we are all different and I trust one day we can all say that we stuck with nope and took smoking off the table forever . Forever may be one day or thousands of days yet but I'm leaving this earth as one who used to smoke , not one who believed she wanted to die a happy smoker .  That's the Addict self .

I love being an Ex smoker . You will too Linda . Find your way . Keep going one day at a time smoke free no matter what . You got this quit . 

 

 

 

https://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_27_carrying_cig.html

Edited June 1, 20215 yr by Abby

On 6/1/2021 at 12:30 AM, Katgirl said:

I have not smoked in 21 days and counting. Isn’t that all that really matters? My way works , for me….

 

This isn't about you. 

 

EZPZ 

20 minutes ago, sgt.barney said:

 

This isn't about you. 

 

EZPZ 

I respectfully disagree. It IS most certainly about me, and you, and every other member here who hopped aboard and asked for help to keep their quits intact. I was under the impression that the philosophy of Quit Train is that “there is no one size fits all” approach to quitting, and that we are all free to express our struggles, triumphs,  and thoughts around quitting. I would appreciate it if you would get off my case. You don’t like me or my ideas? Fine. Just ignore me.

Edited June 2, 20215 yr by Katgirl

Threads like this always cause some tension because of the simple fact that one size doesn't fit all. What works for one may not work for another. And while a debate can be a good thing there's also a time when you just have to agree to disagree..............

Edited June 2, 20215 yr by jillar

The  odds of someone keeping their quit this way is very very slim and it seems that Linda has had many previous attempts at quitting . 

 I think  long timers are doing their best too convey to her from many many years of experience and the facts that it is better to get rid of them and not be tempted . Use nope , use the sos outreach and post before smoking ,use ones stubbornness , walk , do something different . Life has so much to offer that you don't need to keep them to lessen your anxiety or make you feel stronger . Use healthier ways to cope without them . Ex smokers will not keep cigarettes for emergency or to relieve anxiety just as an alcoholic woulnt put a bottle in the drawer for strength . 

 

 We are all different and creative with our thoughts and all want to be supportive but most importantly we are all able to take what we need to keep our quits and leave the rest . 

 

My personality is completely different than both of yours . As you might tell I like to be the peace maker and that's not good .. you two have to do that but what I'm hoping is that some good will come to someone through this thread that will keep their quit not just for today ,  but forever . 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m with @jillar! Let’s move on, people. This thread was started by someone else. People disagreed about approaches or advice. That’s fine. As is the intent of this forum, take what ideas you can use, if they help, and leave the rest. There is no need for confrontation. This place should be a safe harbor for all. 
 

KAT

Edited June 2, 20215 yr by Katgirl

All Roads lead to Rome ....just get your arse there lol....anyway you can ....🐸

 

Wow I'm upset by this thread!!! It makes feel like I would not use the SOS again!! It did help me save my quit. I got rid of the cigarettes late that evening.

Yes I have had numerous attempts to quit along with many others on this forum that I have read about. I'm not sure that there is any did it on there first attempt!!! And all though I did not appreciate Abby make me feel like I was the only one that has had a relapse and not making it on my first attempt, I realize she was only trying to help Some do it gently and some do it tough. But I think @Katgirldoes not need to be made to feel badly about her way which is working for her. So I think @jillar is right move on!!! I know we are suppose to be able to share our struggles and use the SOS but if it is to cause this big of a conflict I don't think I would use it again give Katgirl a break

Aww just brush it off @Linda, with all these different personalities its normal to have all these different opinions on the Topic. Heaven knows I had my share of controversial replies when I post about my JAC or that I didn't quit drinking my beer when I first quit. More so on my previous forum than here but It didn't change my mind because I knew what worked for me. And if it worked for me it was worth sharing it imo.

You also have to remember that some members believe in tough love and won't sugarcoat anything and that's ok too. And if someone doesn't want to see posts from a particular member you can always put them on your ignored users list...

3 hours ago, Katgirl said:

I respectfully disagree.

 

Well that's nice, isnt it?

 

Sarge is telling you what he means ... and you disagree. <boggle>.

If this whole BitchingAbout SargeOnline thing doesn't work out for you ... you've got a bright future in reading minds. I mean, you can peer into Sarge's head and tell him what he *really* means ... even when he, himself, tells you straight up otherwise. 

 

Too farking bad, you cant make everything about you, right?  

 

'Cause this. Its not

About you.

No matter how hard you try 

 

<sigh>

 

Sarge says again: if you're gonna buy smokes duing a quit, you might as well smoke up and enjoy 'em! 

 

Smoke up, Louie!

 

EZPZ

@sgt.barneyi understand everyone has there opinion and that's ok.I appreciate everyone's sharing but it does not need be nasty to others

Personal attacks have no place here. I have not said or done anything to deserve such animosity. I thought this was a safe haven, for new quitters. Can’t we all just live and let live? My goodness. I am so disappointed. 

 

This topic is now locked and has been moved to Off The Record.