leahcaR

Google chromebooks are über cheap

Nooooooo do not leave me

Don't ******* talk to me bitch. Thank you.

W5d1

I know. I just in and do my thing and go home. But since I specifically heard her say she was going to make stuff up and try to get me in trouble or whatever I had to say something to supervisor and then tell the real ones today. :/ And here's the post that has all that biopsy crapola in it. http://www.quittrain.com/topic/715-my-day/ Thank a for the reply you always make me laugh :)

so.....a week from tomorrow is the biopsy and that procedure thing. Pretty freaked out...not even going to lie about it. My best friend hung out with me all day Saturday and we had such a good time. Then today I went over to my mom's ...who I know is probably as freaked out as I ...if not worse...I remember I always hated going to the doc... I mean I am almost 28 and I would rather her be sitting in the waiting room when I am done... and she hates taking off for it. I had to beg these last two times... then I got that news that something was wrong...and I needed a biopsy... I was scared to ask but I said "are you going to come with me?" because I almost had to go to the doctor that day alone and she just so happened to already be getting off and I was scared of the answer I was about to hear since I knew she would probably say what she did last time... "you're a big girl... I have a job to do I cant just take off whenever..." ... but her answer was more matter of fact... "are you going to come with me on the 12th?"... "yes. of course" was her reply. as if me asking was the absolutely most ridiculous thing anyone could ever ask anyone on the planet. And to think I was scared of getting the "you are 27...you don't need me" response. So that is in one week from tomorrow...at 3 pm.... and then there is some medical bill stuff I havent gotten to on here...but might explain soon... .... then there is what I vented about the other day... some girl who quite literally I have heard saying she makes things up about people she doesnt like or who thinks might interfere with her agenda... to get them in trouble... and then there is me... turning a blind eye...because well...it didnt have to do with me... and I have other serious stuff going on I cant deal with it... so I'll try to avoid the crossfires.... then a week ago happened and I got in the crossfires accidentally when she wrote some lie about a coworker and she left... and then someone she wrote it to who had thrown it away in our mutual trashcan ...I said I wanted to know what that was... and she said no... and we had always been friends so I said well you know Im going to look at it, right? ((she had only folded it and put it in our trash can...it wasnt even ripped...)) she said ok but dont say anything... so I took it out and looked at it... it said "I just stood up and Susan was sleeping" and after they read it they both giggled as I recollected... as the mean girl had left and only the friendly one remained I said "that's not right... or nice..." and she said don't tell... and watched me until I put it back in the trash can. I will regret this moment probably for a long time. as she targeted me on monday... probably because this perceived friend told her I said it wasnt right... because she wasnt sleeping at her desk as I had literally just come from there ((this mean girl is known for getting bored and wanting to cause problems with people to entertain herself or because she feels entitled to their postiitions)) ....and I found myself in an office... at the end of the week upset about this upcoming biopsy...moving...and medical bills......and someone had said I did something mean to them when they asked me a questions. ...woah.... I know none of you know me in a real sense...and I talk big... but I do NOT have a mean bone in my body. at all. I do some peoples jobs for them all day....every day... and I'll complain to a couple coworkers who do the same thing as me... but if any of these people who I do their job for them ask me the same question over and over and over again a year later... I still answer with the same response as if theyve never asked before. Because I'm not really an asshole. And people compliment me to superiors... people who really arent good at their job... they say how pleasant I am. And to think this chick ((which I deducted it was her)) was saying I answered something negatively towards her... makes me sick.. I cannot be mean to another. It simply is not in my nature. Plus I find being mean to require some effort... and seeing as how all my effort has been directed to health... unexpected bills... and an urgency to have to move soon... I have none to direct towards being nasty... so I find myself friday having to explain some of this to the supervisor on duty in my area... as my sup and manager were out... I heard this girl while my music was muted conspiring against me and this other girl...saying they were going to make something up about us talking nasty about them... I couldnt let it wait til my sup and manager came back... I had to say something. so I did... and then this came to my mind: When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent; I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I wasn't a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out. and that's all I have... the fact that I knew consipring was going on but not wanting to be in the crossfires I distanced myself... until I realized I was in the crossfires and could not distance any longer. and now I feel like wow...Rachael ...you are an asshole. ....there are at least two people who were targeted before me I kept quiet about. I feel like crap... and tomorrow I have to tell my sup and his manager my story. the thing is this girl puts on a real sweet facade and face. where as I've always been obviously pretty real.... I should have spoke up for the "communists" and "social democrats" and trade unionists" and "jews"... but I was none so I really did remain silent..until they came for me. And I honestly have no fuel to fight anyone with everything I'm already dealing with.... I have no cares.... I just want this bitch to leave my job alone. leave me alone. I have been here three years....I have shit going on.... I've had shit going on for months... and now serious shit I thought couldnt get more serious than it had been... i really need her to fuuck off. so, please, pray for me tomorrow. I need it. I already have anxiety to the high heavens... and this girl who is obviously lacking excitement in her life is adding to it... I cant deal very well. Just give me happy thoughts tomorrow and pray please. and then again for a week from tomorrow when I have to have a biopsy done. I know I seem hard... but I'm really very soft and I love people. I would never cause harm to anyone. and it breaks me to think anyone is doing that to me or that i let it happen to anyone. please keep me in your thoughts in the coming weeks as I am being tried and tested harder than I was in december. love and peace to all

W4d3. 1/4 done with 10 k app

Way to go friend.

Thank you everyone. Happy I made it to six months. Always envied people at six months for some reason.

eh aside from wanting to run better a side effect of "having to clear my throat CONSTANTLY" was a factor in me not wanting to do it anymore. it was embarrassing to me. <3

I kind of understand what you are saying. But not really. I know recently after the doctor news on monday I though "fu** a cigarette...that sounds good" and I watched someone light up....and then I realized there was nothing there for me. It stank. sure...they seemed to be having a good time. But I could see through it....I used to look like I wasnt miserable.. I used to look pleasant and like I was having a good time while smoking. You would have been able to tell nothing else other than I was having a good f***** time. And that is the trick it plays and now I can see through it. Does she look miserable? Did I? Absolutely not. because she is...and I was... telling herself lies while she smokes that cigarette. It offers nothing and we know that. miss it? I don't know that I would say that. If I thought it would help me enjoy or fix anything at all I would pick one up right now. But i know that it would not.

yesterday - w4d2

look you stupid fuckking biitch I don't know where the fuckk you came from 7 months ago or why you think you own the fuckking place and deserve shiit. Nor do I really give a shiit. But do NOT fucck with me. I have been here 3 years and refuse for some little trick to walk up in here with her sensitive fuucking ass thinking everything is about her and everything has something to do with her. Newflash biitch...the world does NOT revolve around you. Crazy huh? This place is not high school...this is not your playground... You either sit the FUUCK back and chill the fuuck OUT.... or deal with my fuccking wrath. but you will NOT intimidate me like you do anyone else... I told you a while ago you were going to mess with the wrong person some day here... and DING DING DING you just mother fuccking did... You are a dumb little bittch if you think I am going to let some spoiled sensitive moron mess with me..... and on a week that already started out with me hearing shit i did not want to hear.... may God have mercy on your sick twisted little soul girl. You think its over but biitch it just fuccking started...and you don't even know it. P.S. I will take great pleasure in seeing those fuckiing tears :cray: of yours soon. When I am done...you won't even know what the fucccck happened. Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with fire?

Bye :( I'm keeping the ice cream truck though. Sadness

Thanks guys