intoxicated yoda

it's not crazy. I never thought I could quit, seriously. It took me almost a year to finally jump off the cliff and really do it. Don't look at this as a failure. Try to understand why you relapsed. Then see if you can come up with a plan to prevent it in the future. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just matched up against an addiction that you have convinced yourself you can't beat. Once you convince yourself that you can beat it you will. And as long as we are sharing things, when I got about 2 months into my quit and things seemed to be getting harder I thought something was wrong with me and hated everybody else for it. the addiction puts all kinds of crazy thoughts in your head. just let them come and go. don't judge yourself and don't light up.

Hi @11better11 We've all been there at one time or another. A few things to keep in mind as you go through this. 1. Quitting smoking is a process, not an event and sometimes a relapse is just part of the process. I quit more times than I can remember before it stuck. 2. It is an addiction and cigarettes were designed to get you addicted and keep you addicted. It's an uphill battle but moving uphill makes you stronger. Our grandparents and great grand parents didn't build the greatest society in history by walking downhill to school every morning...both ways. 3. Feeling lost and a little depressed is pretty normal. You are giving up your friend, your companion, except this friend is stabbing you in the back and ruining your life. 4. Only you can motivate you to quit. Having a tribe to help influence you to stick with it is what this forum is all about, but it all comes down to you keeping yourself motivated. the resources are here with plenty of ex-addicts to encourage you along the way but none of us can quit for your. and 5. which is the most pertinent is that it is going to suck balls for quite a while, but once you get past that it's not so bad and you adapt and find things that you'd rather do than smoke. We've all faced that monster and it is big and scary at first, but then you find out it the only teeth it has are the ones you give it and you can take them back whenever you choose. Anyhow, hope this helps and hope you stick around on the train. We all love seeing a fresh quitter succeed.

congrats @DenaliBluesyou've got a really great quit going. so glad to see you winning!!

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@d2e8b8That's impressive. I so need to do that but I'm just not quite there yet. Wishing you strength for those last 3 days.

We are grateful that you found your way here too, @overcomelove that positive energy you have. You are doing great. You got this.

Went to play golf today. Needed to fine tune my swing as I've started shanking the ball more often than I should. The idea was to play by myself so I don't have any distractions and can hit a particular shot a few times if needed to dial in that contact. As it turned out I was invited to play with a threesome waiting on the 2nd tee box. All three of them smoked...a lot. Fortunately I was in my own cart so I wasn't getting choked out by being right next to someone smoking. 313 days ago I was any of those three guys. taking that lit cigarette out of my mouth and throwing it on the ground, never even giving a thought about the fertilizer, deer doo doo and squirrel piss it might be landing in. And then pick it back up after I hit my shot and gleefully put it back in my mouth and suck on it like a toddler on a titty. Part of me wanted to join them in a smoke and the other part of me just had sympathy for them. Any reasonable person would ask..."yoda, why do you go play golf when you know your going to be around smokers?" The answer is that I do enjoy the game. It was my distraction in the early part of my quit. It was the activity that I learned to enjoy without having to smoke. It kept me distracted from the hell I was experiencing during the worst part of my quit. And now, it's the repetitive stress of abstaining around other addicts that keeps me humble and on my toes lest I forget what I went through to get to where I am. So tonight I celebrate 313 days of no smoking. 313 days of NOPE. 313 days closer to freedom and most of all, one prayer that was answered. Thank you God for a wonderful day and beautiful gift.

this is truth right here.

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10 month update. scale bottomed out at 174. waist measurement is at 39.5. The cravings for pretty much anything have been reduced down to nothing more than a passing thought. Some thoughts do pass much much slower than others but at least I'm not obsessing over them. Played golf yesterday with my cigar smoking friend. We got paired up with a couple that smoked. At first I thought it was cute the way they would share a cigarette, but then I realized it was about as cute as Romeo and Juliet sharing a cup of poison. I did catch myself staring at one of their cigarettes like a starving dog looks at a ribeye steak but I got over that pretty quick and felt pretty good about myself later on for being able to turn away and not even think about it again. anyhow, the journey continues. stay strong everybody

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@jillarno worries. it's good to be another month farther away from cigarettes regardless of the number attached.

thanks for all the support everyone. i think I'm only 10 months quit though

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