intoxicated yoda

11 month update. I had to think about this for a while since not a lot has changed from last month. I guess I'll just start with the smoking, or lack thereof and what it's like dealing with that now. Honestly, I still think about smoking everyday but I'm not obsessing over it. It takes less and less effort to distract myself from the thoughts as I wouldn't even classify it as craves anymore. I've been staying pretty strict on the diet. Probably about 90 days on it since my last divergence. Still have problems with my shoulder so I can't do much upper body work out. The hip seems to be not as bad as it was although I still have some minor nagging issues with it. My eyesight is actually getting better, I did not see that one coming (see what i did there). But seriously, i can read some of the smaller print that 3 months ago I would just be like screw it, if that warning on this pill bottle was that important they would have it printed in bigger letters. Lack of sleep had been killing me over the last month due to cramps. Sometimes they would start at around midnight and last til 4 or 5 am or they would start at 3 or 4 am and totally screw my sleep up. I took everything you could think of to prevent the cramps and I think I may have found a solution. Started taking free form taurine 6 days ago. No cramps for the last 2 days...at all. I take anywhere from 4 to 8 grams of it per day. In fact today was the first day in long time I made it through an entire day without nodding off or getting the watery eyes from being sleepy. go me. If you have cramping issues give it a try. it's not very expensive. Been 2 months drinking only water. no coffee, tea or anything else liquid. quitting coffee is about as intense as quitting cigarettes but it doesn't last as long. Things I've seen about say you really don't start feeling the benefits quitting for about a year so I'll wait it out and see. I have tried to drink a beer here and there on the golf course but it really makes me feel like shit almost immediately so I'm pretty much done with that. I don't know where I'm at on my quest to lose my quit weight since my scale broke. Maybe I'll get another one but for now I'm just gonna do what I'm been doing a let the weight take care of itself. Well, that's about it. I'm still in the process of crushing all my addictions. Will be interesting to see what life is like not needing some kind of poison to get through the day. take care everyone and stay strong. remember...the steeper the climb the better the view when you get to the top.

@Boothanks. best GIFt ever.

if you really cared you would put up the monkey gif...

i played a lot of golf. did a lot of walking. in between i broke a few things and then put them back together. spent a lot of time here playing games and typing out messages to no one that never got submitted and chronicled my quit so i could go back and see where i started from. not sure how i made it this far sometimes but here i am.

Linda is back on the train. Party starts now, says I.

here ya go @FunkyMonkeythis was the mantra that got me through my first months here on the train. That and walking in the rain.

hello FunkyMonkey. sounds like you have a good plan outlined. I quit cold turkey but the most important thing is that you don't smoke. you can do this. it will test you and you will find out just how strong you are. just stay calm and know that whatever you go through will pass and on the other side of it you will be much better off. welcome aboard.

great job Overcome. 3 weeks is an awesome start. a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

You are doing really great @overcome. it's good to get tested and overcome it. (see what it did there??) it builds confidence and reinforces that idea that you can deal with life better than any cigarette can. So great to see you win these battles.

Shake it off @Linda don't let this one mistake define you. you know how to get there.

it's not crazy. I never thought I could quit, seriously. It took me almost a year to finally jump off the cliff and really do it. Don't look at this as a failure. Try to understand why you relapsed. Then see if you can come up with a plan to prevent it in the future. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just matched up against an addiction that you have convinced yourself you can't beat. Once you convince yourself that you can beat it you will. And as long as we are sharing things, when I got about 2 months into my quit and things seemed to be getting harder I thought something was wrong with me and hated everybody else for it. the addiction puts all kinds of crazy thoughts in your head. just let them come and go. don't judge yourself and don't light up.

Hi @11better11 We've all been there at one time or another. A few things to keep in mind as you go through this. 1. Quitting smoking is a process, not an event and sometimes a relapse is just part of the process. I quit more times than I can remember before it stuck. 2. It is an addiction and cigarettes were designed to get you addicted and keep you addicted. It's an uphill battle but moving uphill makes you stronger. Our grandparents and great grand parents didn't build the greatest society in history by walking downhill to school every morning...both ways. 3. Feeling lost and a little depressed is pretty normal. You are giving up your friend, your companion, except this friend is stabbing you in the back and ruining your life. 4. Only you can motivate you to quit. Having a tribe to help influence you to stick with it is what this forum is all about, but it all comes down to you keeping yourself motivated. the resources are here with plenty of ex-addicts to encourage you along the way but none of us can quit for your. and 5. which is the most pertinent is that it is going to suck balls for quite a while, but once you get past that it's not so bad and you adapt and find things that you'd rather do than smoke. We've all faced that monster and it is big and scary at first, but then you find out it the only teeth it has are the ones you give it and you can take them back whenever you choose. Anyhow, hope this helps and hope you stick around on the train. We all love seeing a fresh quitter succeed.

congrats @DenaliBluesyou've got a really great quit going. so glad to see you winning!!

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@d2e8b8That's impressive. I so need to do that but I'm just not quite there yet. Wishing you strength for those last 3 days.

We are grateful that you found your way here too, @overcomelove that positive energy you have. You are doing great. You got this.

Went to play golf today. Needed to fine tune my swing as I've started shanking the ball more often than I should. The idea was to play by myself so I don't have any distractions and can hit a particular shot a few times if needed to dial in that contact. As it turned out I was invited to play with a threesome waiting on the 2nd tee box. All three of them smoked...a lot. Fortunately I was in my own cart so I wasn't getting choked out by being right next to someone smoking. 313 days ago I was any of those three guys. taking that lit cigarette out of my mouth and throwing it on the ground, never even giving a thought about the fertilizer, deer doo doo and squirrel piss it might be landing in. And then pick it back up after I hit my shot and gleefully put it back in my mouth and suck on it like a toddler on a titty. Part of me wanted to join them in a smoke and the other part of me just had sympathy for them. Any reasonable person would ask..."yoda, why do you go play golf when you know your going to be around smokers?" The answer is that I do enjoy the game. It was my distraction in the early part of my quit. It was the activity that I learned to enjoy without having to smoke. It kept me distracted from the hell I was experiencing during the worst part of my quit. And now, it's the repetitive stress of abstaining around other addicts that keeps me humble and on my toes lest I forget what I went through to get to where I am. So tonight I celebrate 313 days of no smoking. 313 days of NOPE. 313 days closer to freedom and most of all, one prayer that was answered. Thank you God for a wonderful day and beautiful gift.

this is truth right here.

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