notsmokinjo

-3...... well I made work an fed the kid so survivin...

Iceburg lettuce

-3

The Ried brothers.... you mean you did walk 500miles for their birthday?

Yeah well the great cabbage revenge flippin backfired didn't it when I had to do a plate in the men's slot and the freakin catcher had the plummers crack from hell... was so tempted to spit me freakin big league chew in it.... argh no wonder I was crook all freaking weekend... unless I caught Slips man flu Do ya eva wonda if Kim Jong-Un an Trump use the same baraber?

When is it not thong season? (Think I even have a pair sporting the repair below):

Was comin to yours fer dinner but yeah, nah I only like me couscous salad with prawns.

Arguin with the Kid cos she wants ta go home to watch MKR and I wanna watch the cricket with me dad... an she just pulled the fucken homework card.

Wee Fluffly Me did ya celebrate Charlie & Craig's birthdee today and that's why ya lucky??

01001110010011110101000001000101 (An it was 01001110010011110101000001000101 on satdee and sundee too)

Feelin no better but puttin off visitin the quack cos I like ta be an Ostrich an he's after me to get some test done that i'm avoidin. Thanks for feedback. Will give it another week I think then bite the bullet and go to the docs. Mate, of course we were taught how to speak, read and write correct English and I am perfectly able to do so, if I choose. I spend 10 hours a day doing it for work (unless I'm talkin to the techies or warehouse guys). I even have to speak it with a freaking toffee accent when I'm in my mum's presence because the scars from childhood were fantastic conditioning. However, when I'm at home or with me mates I talk pretty much exactly as I type, well maybe I swear less when the kids are around... predominantly it started because I knew how much it pissed my mum off but its me, and I just type as the little voice (internal monologue narrator). In addition, I have a very tech savvy 12 year old, who while profoundly dyslexic can hack most of my passwords and then use one of her voice to text programs to translate what I am saying... So my typing total gobbledegook is 4 things, 1 its the inner fuckin monologue voice that runs my thoughts and not bothering to filter or translate them, 2 its because it limits the ability of my child to 'read' what I am saying thus making me feel freer to say what I want, even if it is random weirdness, 3 its a sign that I am in a comfortable environment in which I feel I have some friends around who take me as I am and don't particularly give a shit how much of a nutcase I am and 4. its the little girl sitting at her kitchen table, verbally conjugating verbs until some ungodly hour of the morning because she sounds "to common" with nice little physical incentives to stay awake and get it right given a big "Fvck You" to her mum because she's too gutless to do it in real life. So of course I can write correct and appropriate English but in all honesty unless I'm pissed off or really serious about something chances are you wont see me write like that. If it is too much for your delicate Sydney sensibilities to take please don't bother ready my posts because its no skin off my nose if you don't.

1... just droppin sarge home cos he's too hot at the diamonds.

1 - :( ...

Gloves Without a O something for your hair.

A Little Ray Of Sunshine - Axiom Where do all the wild things go?

-5... fucken Gun... The shepherd just pulled the down pipe off the side of the house and now he's dragging it round the yard waggin his tail. Anyone want a dog?

Will it be enough pressure to turn me into a diamond?

-5

-V

-5 Don't worry mate it'll be in the last place she looks, plus I hung it on the back of the front door last night.

Ovaltinies

-5.... Soon... Gotta feed the boys, and decide if I'll take Sarge with me... Besides the kid's faffen about cos she can't find her glove.

Rum

Out comes Sadie the Cleaning Lady I put in some ribbons an bows

-4