notsmokinjo

Oh my peeps I follow are posting in there... in the COSiverse... they are sending me fizchick messages to go post... but I will be strong, I am nearly a 1/4 of the way through my detox. Its so hard being all alone though. If I send an SOS who will hear me... who will come to my aid. I must not post, right cos if I post, if i minus then I'm pretty weak... I am better than this compulsion... i can master this addiction. Oh the gnawing, aching crave to go and take one away, to steal one from the sticks tally, to hold up the chicks fight, to do my bit, I am so letting down my fellow chickies... but NONE... Not One Number Ever... I will not post today.

Thanks Lisa... luckily we seem to have caught this early-ish and the bulging eyes aren't one of my symptoms. I only have the dry eye bit. I'm actually really positive about the treatment and just glad to finally have a diagnosis. Knowing someone who has had the full blown effects and is fine, even just by association, is good. On the plus side I have dropped a heap of weight which in reality I could afford to and with the new diet regime I should be able to maintain it healthily. Although, being a hater of shopping I sent the kid with some money and I now have lovely new pink jeans.. she insists they are mushroom... but the reality is they aren't black or denim, they are frickin pink... but at least they don't fall off when I walk. @Phoebe2 ... thank you for sharing... so much of that tallys... but because it all sort of coincided with my quit (ok it started about 3-4 months before my quit but river/egypt, ostrich/sand) and my age that it was easy to chalk it up to that and or menopause (which it isn't ? )... Its all early, I want to try the drugs first as I have nodes on both sides and the isthmus so it will be a full thyroidectomy but thanks for the positive experience, It really lifts my spirits.

Well I have decided that whoever or wotever is out there pitching inside rise balls ( I can't usually hit those) can go get effed.. I've had enough of that you didn't get me at 4 weeks, you didn't get me at 7 weeks, 11 weeks... Easter, and the weeks since... You didn't get me over the weekend so its not gunna happen... You can stop testing me...I've had my share...but thank you fates...thanks for proving to me that no matter what life throws at me I don't need a smoke or nicotine to get through it.. So thank you but fvck you very much cos enough is enough.

Popcorn.. No Jaffa's...no popcorn...(who we kidding, I'm am Aussie ours would be a choc top) Movie date night... Rotate the selection or just let the other half choose.

Most times drop a "coin".... I actually buy something food wise and give them that instead.... but if they are sporting the latest shoes or clothes or they have a dog with them that looks like it is show quality... I walk on by. Domestic in the street: Intercede or Walk on By

Tossed Salad

undead

False - If I break a nail and its jaggared and I have no scissors I'll nibble it safe but thats it, nail biting is gross. TNP has to squeeze lumps if they get them.

Hand it in... cos I a GOOD little catholic girl and that might be someones last $100 and its a lot of money. (I found $20 at the train station and handed it in) Witness and Accident: stop to help or walk on by?

Because some people might not know what this is. In a uni (college) psych exam if the question asked you to define courage and you wrote "This" should that answer get full points?

3 the lie cos Sslippy don't don't run.... swim yeah, but run you been reding Frezflops posts in the exercising thread if that's that case.

Yesterday sucked... big fat donkey balls of suckage.... Yesterday I was diagnosed with Graves' Disease.... and I have nodes, that's right I am living with nodes.... but unlike big red in Pitch Perfect my nodes aren't on my vocal chords, mine are on my Thyroid Gland and one is on my Parathyroid Gland... but wait yesterday was so fricking good for so many reasons.... Some of you may know that I have been having some medical tests that involved me being on the worst diet on earth, the low iodine diet... what most of you wont know is that I took myself off to the doctors (after the repeated nagging of some fellow members here. Thanks @Sslip, @beazel & @jillar) because I was have issues with my heart and dizzy spells... they nagged me over there and they nagged me over here and coupled with some other symptoms I was having I had already diagnosed myself as being in menopause (nope, which I am quietly spewing about) and possibly having some form of heart disease, most likely due to my weight and smoking... so I didn't want to go to the doctor, I wanted to plop my big fat arse down on my nice comfy barge and live on that river in Egypt, you know Da Nile. Anyway, nag nag nag and off I went... took some blood tests, got a phone call Good Friday and its been appointments and blood tests and crappy diets ever since... ok and a break down or two with the treat of tossing my quit over amongst other things not being allowed to have Vegemite (thanks to both @Sslip & @Sazerac for the saves there)... then there was the plan to go back on the gum if I needed to to get em through it.... you get the idea, I was preparing myself to use it as a get out of quit guilt free card. Well yesterday I got my results. I have Graves disease and nodes, which are little lumpy things, that are usually benign, but 2 of mine have grown since the first scan on Good Friday.. which isn't necessarily bad either, they might turn into a goiter OR they might do nothing or there is the teeniest, tiniest chance they might be something a little bit nastier, but even if they are its not a worry... cos they are easy peasy to fix. Anyway... Graves Disease is totally treatable, and totally curable... the quick easy fix, which is what my doctor wants to do is to remove the thyroid gland and in my case one of the parathyroid glands and then have this special iodised radiation treatment. The hard way is to take the tablet, alter your diet (not as bad as the no iodine diet) and ride it out for 18mths to 2 years. I don't want the easy way's, side effects and possible complications or secondaries are pretty intense. I want to do the hard way... so My appointment included a yelling match between my doctor and I where I was informed I'm not fun to treat anymore... but we came to a compromise.. I would let him biopsy the nodes and he would let me try just the meds and the diet for 3 months and then we would review it.... So here is why yesterday was good: 1. I got a diagnosis 2. Its treatable and curable 3. I never would have gone to get it checked if I hadn't quit smoking, as I would have put it down to smoking and age and the like. 4. I never would have gone to the docs without the nagging of my mates, who I never woulda had if I hadn't quit smoking. 5. I didn't use it to excuse tossing my quit. 6 Despite one of the biggest symptoms of Graves being anxiety and panic attacks (which I have been suffering with pretty badly) have I NOT tossed my quit. 7. Not once, all day, before, during or after my appointment did I want, crave or even have a fleeting thought of having a smoke. NOT ONCE. So to everyone who supported me in the healthy wealthy threads with my whinging and whining about my diet... weather it was positive words, or food suggestions or even just clicking little emotions thanks for making the past 6 weeks bearable and having my back, Saz, Slippidy-doo-dah, Jilly, @WeegieWoman, @Doreensfree, @Joe7 & @Frezflops thanks. Oh and @Wee fluffy me & @PeaceTrain you guys been in on the support too. If I missed ya sorry. But this is Good. We have a plan, its frickin totally treatable, and the Nicodemon b1tch didn't even raise her ugly mug. And my unexpected QUIT benefit... I went to the doctors and found out I have something pretty serious wrong but I never would have gone to the doctors if I hadn't QUIT and I'd be ignoring all my bodies "hey dipshit somethings really not right here loveducks" signs and you know what it can do, having a thyroid flooding your body with ridiculous levels of thyroxin... it can make you dead, it can kill ya heart, it can hurt ya liver, you can have a stroke... what awesome, lovely side effects. I love my new life.

So wot ya really sayin is we still have no 2:1 from @Sslip ... he has just lost all rights to nag @Wee fluffy me if she takes yonks to post hers

Low Iodine Diet OVER ... well at least for now, may need to be back on but we are trying to avoid the treatment to that needs me to be on this diet. recap... something showed as skewy on a reoutine blood test.... which lead to more tests and being put on a low iodine diet... which was basically an eat nothing diet.... finally have test results.... and I have Graves disease. This is a type of hyperthyroidism... it is an auto immune disease and completely treatable and curable... this can be done with medication and diet over an 18mth to 2 years.. or you can take the quick fix which is surgury to remove your thyroid, radiation treatment and then thyroid meds for life. Guess which route I am taking... the hard one... so once I start the medication (tomorrow) I will begin another medical diet... it is still restrictive but not as much as the low iodine diet.... down side is I am supposed to go caffine free... so keep your eyes open for my new thread: The Graves Disease Diet.... So yesterday was a Good Day... and no craves, not one, not a niggle, not even a passing thought.... and at easter I was breaking down at the thought of no vegemite. For those who are interested, my food consumption on returning from the doctors and release for low iodine was: 3 huge spoons of vegemite straight off the spoon Toast with vegemite and smashed avocados with poached eggs and bacon... omg bacon... and tomato sauce (cos that was banned too... just think ketchup) Oh and coffee with real milk.. Then it was another coffee with a timtam or 2 and a 1/2 packets..... ? I don't feel very good now.

Its Ok Fluffy... we are all Junkies here.... its completely anonymous, are your Robbie Burns?? (The Robbie Burns is a Pub in Melbourne that is also a kick arse Spanish Restaurant... please don't ask me why The Robbie Burns is a Spanish restaurant, maybe there isn't much money to be made in haggis, porridge and tablet)

OMG do you know how hard it was to not post a number then, knowing you wouldn't be notified if I did.... but I fought that crave, tooth and nail I fought it, I even typed the flippin number but I didn't hit post. Thats 1 me.... 0 COSdemon.

NO Posting... unfollow OK... I will do that too.... what a great idea Sian, see your not just a pretty face.

Best sangria in Melbourne is the Robbie Burns Hotel..... We are soooo multicultural

Well saddly I find myself back here, because I am a junky with a serious problem. Hi My name is Fred. I am a COSaholic. It has been about 5 minutes since my last post. I hereby pledge to take the 48hr detox (yes again)... this time there are new, stricter rules due to my repeated appearances in this meeting room. There will be no popping in to check on the cool kids... there will be no random emotions.... this is a 48hr purge, total prohibition of the COSiverse... staying here I will be. The pull of the numbers is strong... the count down, the slapping... i think i have evens started to enjoy receiving...but now I am just romancing the numbers. Get ye back oh COSdemon. At the beach maybe, and its always fun getting someone to rub in ya blockout... but indoors for laps is a tad to slvtty for my liking... I mean ya have to have some class.

You can do this... deep breath... and lets just take it nice and slow... you know where the doughnuts are... and I have a lovely pot of tea for you sweets... I nice irish brew to go with ya sexy name. Ok... you breathing deeply... and hold 3, 2, 1 and out... that's the way... Now exercise is good to fight the crave. Go get ya swim gear ready, make sure you remember your bikini top this time.... and ya goggles.

My name is Fred and I too have relapsed.... No I did not... didn't even know she was in there... and I'm not going to look. You do know we have a serious addiction.

Sian... where are you sweetie,.... cos you really need to be in here.... yoo hoo Sian

@Sslip.... get ya arse out... you are suspended for 48hrs, you know where to go, I will meet you there... NOW!!!!!!!

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