Welcome to the forum! You weren't weak around others who smoked, you simply made the choice to smoke, mostly in part because you're addicted to a drug called nicotine. The way to beat this addiction is to treat it just as that, an addiction to a drug. If NRT is working to keep you from lighting up, that's great but please use it only as a short-term aid to quit nicotine completely, in any form.
You can't feel that "magical" moment because you're still feeding your addiction. Once you get off of it, there will come a point where you'll undoubtedly look back and be very proud that you quit. Hell, be proud right now!! You're not smoking, be VERY proud that you're staying committed to quitting smoking even though you can't see what good lies ahead. That takes guts! As you put more time in between you and smoking, trust me, you will feel fantastic. I'm not saying that the lion will lay down with the lamb and little birdies will come to your window and sing to you, but you WILL feel better both physically and emotionally. I suppose some people have had birds come to sing praises but I never did. I just took it day by day and never gave an inch to this deadly addiction.
Please start reading here and start watching these videos right away. We all beat this addiction by being smarter than it, not stronger than it. :)
Please keep up posted and fire away posts at will. That's why we exist; to help you and support you. :)
Nicotine Is Nicotine Is Nicotine
Video discusses how nicotine delivered by any source via any route of administration has the full potential of causing relapse to any former smoker or user of any nicotine product.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KViTfIfHUv0&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB&index=6
Related articles:
Original nicotine gum article referred to any video
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_07_NR...
Pharmacological aids Part II
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_08_NR...
40 years of progress
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_33_Fo...
Whatever you do don't quit cold turkey!
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_30_do...
Is cold turkey the only way to quit
http://whyquit.com/joel/Joel_03_31_is...
Are cessation pharmacology quit smoking products a sham upon smokers?
http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksCAids...
Related videos:
My first encounter with NRT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k_mcy...
Is cold turkey the only way to quit?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFycqB...
Oral tobacco usage and addiction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNwF6l...
Cigars and relapsing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNfzs-...
First television ads for electronic cigarettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7SrMy...
Electronic cigarettes and harm reduction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE42iW...
The law of addiction
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2I0NQ...
How to quit smoking
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l27zWo...
Maybe a puff isn't that big of a deal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLxFE9...