Cheering you on @shy!!
Things are simpler if you just take smoking off the table. Period. It ends the “Can I make it through this craving?” debates as well as the shame cycle.
When I first quit, I couldn’t fathom not smoking for more than 24 hrs, let alone a month or a year. The thought of being without smokes for any length of time was terrifying. The trick for me was to not think about tonight or tomorrow or forever. I’d start to panic when I would think about measuring time. Instead, I focused on what am I doing right now, in this moment, to help me through the discomfort if NOT smoking. A subtle - but powerful - perspective shift.
Also, I equipped myself with lozenges to use at times where I felt my will crumbling. I had to be careful about the dosing, since I also used patches for a few weeks. (So I used mini low-dose lozenges.) But they saved my quit a couple of times. Again, it’s about how to creatively equip/support yourself through withdrawal… which is temporary, I promise!
To cope with all the emotions that came up I talked things through here on the Quit Train, came up with many activity distractions, shouted/cussed a lot, and gave myself permission to self-soothe in any way I needed to, EXCEPT by smoking. I eventually made it to the other side, and so can you!