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I´m here to stay! But let´s see how this all began... Once upon a time there was a girl named Natalie that had one big big deffect: she smoked like a chimney. So, about 2 and a half weeks ago reality hit her like a brick falling of the sky. Her whole bedroom was a huge cloud of smoke. All. The. Time. She was always broke because 2 packs a day are quite expensive. "What the hell??". Since there was no prince charming to save her from this, she had to do something and this is how it all began... Of course giving up smoking cold turkey was out of the question. It was frightening. She could never do it. But maybe she could cut down gradually. Natalie has a dependant relationship with her smartphone so he asked it what to do. She found an app that told her when to smoke and would gradually decrease the number of cigarettes and the time between them. "Easy" though Nat. Two weeks passed and she was doing great. "What if I really really quit?"- she wondered. So she started browsing the Internet until she stumbled with...Quit Train!!! Strange things happened in the heavens and Natalie, that´s normally quite shy, decided to post something. The results were amazing! Lots of them! From really nice people. People who was concerned about her, who wanted to help her. People that made Nat think "I can do this. I´m going to quit...I´m going to quit? Sure Nat?" but then all this really nice people kept telling her she could do it and how awesome it was going to be "But you can´t quit Nat, come on, you´ve tried, stop kidding yourself" so Nat shushed the insecure evil voice in her head and decided one thing: Tomorrow I´m going going to quit. Forever.

Day 1: "Am I really doing this?" Yep. So I posted my first NOPE pledge. I felt awful. My body was yelling "Nat! A cigarette!!! Now!" NOPE. Guys here were awesome. All day long they kept supporting me, answering my questions, keeping me busy. I felt exhausted. Oh by the way! I was wearing the nicotine patch. I thought I couldn´t do it without "some help". I was right. But the help I needed was not a patch. But all the people here cheering me up. At night something happened. I needed my night cigarette. I started panicking. So I posted an S.O.S on the board. I waited for a while. Panic just kept increasing. Until Tiffany came in. She helped me go through it. Until, amazingly, I fell asleep. Thanks Tiff! Day 2: "Why do I feel even worse than yesterday?" I was totally brain fogged. Awful headache. Out of reality (surreal feeling, said one of the girls here). Dizzy. Thirsty. Amazingly thirsty. I was in Quit Train all day long. It was a rainy day and even if I could´ve went out, the weather made it impossible. I kept meeting amazing people. "If you´re going to do this, let´s do it quick, like ripping a bandaid Nat" so I took the patch of. Hm...there was actually no difference at all. Day 3: "Really? I made it to day 3?" The ticker said I did. (Thanks to our official ticker expert! and I had a good time making mistakes with it LOL). People were asking about me. Wow! DD actually started a thread to see how I was doing, This was unbelievable for me. I had some personal conversations that kept showing me that people at this place is just awesome. Each one of you has showed me a different aspect of quitting. You guys made me think and laugh and...just wow and thanks. I started reading the famous Allen Carr´s book. I still don´t have an opinion. I have lots of fun playing chicks or sticks (Guys: come one! We win every time!). I still feel dizzy and brain fogged and tired. The cravings were maybe worse than the first day. But I know one thing for sure: NOPE

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking. The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who accepted more and just walked away to "calm and smoke". I am not that woman anymore. Early quit I'd shout and scream, then cry - really, lot's of crying! Now I look in distain at the people who think I am someone who can be pushed around. If that sounds harsh then so be it. Nothing about me is harsh if you are a good person, I am kind and want to help - but if you bring a fight to my door, I can battle. I like the bottom line of where quitting smoking has taken me. So far removed from a family holiday or a child pushing me. It's taken me to a place of self belief and inner strength. Literally, anything is possible if you just believe in it, and yourself. It's ok to be happy, even if others don't agree with you and your choices, still ok! I wish I could share this feeling with others and them actually understand it. Both smokers wondering is it "too hard" to quit - HELL NO! Best thing you could ever do for yourself and your sense of self worth and imbeciles who think that people pleaser I was may still exist. NOPE, long gone and fare thee well to her! Today I stand in my own strength and add to my children a quit in the "look what I did" camp :)