We’ve all been there @Pilgrim. Your seat on the train is ready to welcome you back any time.
There is not one thing that smoking makes better. It does not resolve conflict, bring back people we’re mourning, heal broken bodies/souls, or alleviate stress. It does not soothe a troubled mind, make us financially secure, or anything else. The only thing smoking accomplishes is to intensify the bottomless need for our next nicotine fix. A need that we can never gratify. Because 1 is too many and 1000 is not nearly enough. That is the wretched irony of addiction.
But it doesn’t need to be that way. Come back soon. You CAN do this!