Just popping in to update. The phonecalls with the prescriptions have finished. I missed a call and that was the end of that. As I said at the very start they're not bothered about you as a person or how you're doing. It was all just lip service to give you the prescriptions. I think there was probably some sort of local funding from government and they just have to keep throwing prescriptions around to keep receiving the government money so they're not really bothered about the individual.
Anyway, onto this week. I don't know why but there were temptations this week. Id been finished with the lozenges for a week or two and midweek this week, Wednesday to be precise, had me thinking the unthinkable. I never succumbed to the pressure. I thought how horrible it would be in the end. The feelings of anxiety I used to get off smoking are still in my mind. I know how smoking used to make me feel and it was not good. All them feelings have gone this last 3 months odd, and that is because I have packed in. I was around at my lads mum's on the Wednesday in question, I had to go in the kitchen to get a plastic bag to take some stuff she passed me, her ciggies were on the side, open with a good few ciggies gone so she wouldn't notice if I took one. It was a quick temptation, the thought was gone as fast as it came but the temptation was there.
Can't work out whether I've actually won with that battle by not taking one. The temptation being there probably means the opposite but the knocking back of the temptation must cancel that out.
Needless to say last night I went to boots and got myself a weeks worth of lozenges. I need to kick this nicotine habit. I know I don't want to smoke, Ive knocked that temptation back. Just got to kick the lozenges now. It's like nicotine in a different form is taking a hold now.
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