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Know any funny jokes or quotes ..

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Boo says to sonic how long you been crossdressing and wearing woman's panties

 

Sonic says ever since my wife found a pair in my truck

So this guy with premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere...

That's hilarious.

bakon said police jokes aren't funny

 

give it arrest

  • Author

A man went into a chemist shop and said..! Have you got anything for laryngitis ?!...

And the chemist said..! Good morning sir,what can I do for you?

 

 

Bakon went to find some camouflage trousers the other day....he couldn't find any...

A older married couple :spruce_up:  :umnik2: was sitting on the couch watching TV.

 

The husband had the remote and was flipping channels back and forth.

 

He would click on the fishing channel :wacko22:   where they were teaching tricks and techniques on how to fish, :wacko2:      

 

and then he would click to a naughty porn channel :good3:  where they were teaching other kind of tricks and techniques, :popcorm2:

 

then he would click back to the fishing channel then back again to porn channel and so on back and forth.

 

After about 15 minuets of going back and forth his wife :girl_blum: looks over to him and says:

 

Harry!, You have been fishing twice a week for the past fifty years!

 

Keep it on the porn channel, You all ready know how to fish!  :laugh3:   :rofl:  

   

 

 

 

 

  • Author

A woman has twins,and gives them up for adoption.one of them goes to a family in egypt and is called AMAL..

The other goes to a family in Spain.they call hin JUAN...

Years later,juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.after seeing the picture,she tells her husband,that she wishes to see a picture

Of Amal also..

Her husband responds...but they are twins..once you have seen juan..you've seen Amal....

  • Author

A woman took her seat on the plane,a guy came and sat next to her...he said to her

Does this airline charge you extra for sittin next to good lookin men..

She said..YES...but I wasn't willing to pay...

Sonic and Bakon are driving down the road.  They pass a gas station with a sign out front: "FREE SEX WITH FILL-UP"

 

After getting their tank filled, Sonic asks the attendant about the free sex.  The attendant says: pick a number between 1-and-10.

 

Sonic says: 5!  The attendant says: no, sorry it was 3.

 

Bakon says: let me try...7!  The attendant says: I told you it was 3.

 

They get back in the car, dejected, and Sonic tells Bakon: I think that whole free sex thing is a hoax.  Bakon replies: no, it's legitimate.  My wife came in here twice last week and won both times.

There was this guy who worked in a pickle factory and he started having fantasies about putting his thing in the pickle slicer.

 

Finally he gave into his desires. His boss caught him and he was promptly fired. He arrived home early and his wife asked him what was wrong.

 

He told her that he got fired for putting his thing in the pickle slicer. Fearing the worst, she promptly unbuttoned his trousers and inspected his thing for herself.

 

"Thank goodness you weren't hurt!" his wife said. "But what about the pickle slicer?" "They fired her, too," he replied.

  • Author

There was this guy who worked in a pickle factory and he started having fantasies about putting his thing in the pickle slicer.

 

Finally he gave into his desires. His boss caught him and he was promptly fired. He arrived home early and his wife asked him what was wrong.

 

He told her that he got fired for putting his thing in the pickle slicer. Fearing the worst, she promptly unbuttoned his trousers and inspected his thing for herself.

 

"Thank goodness you weren't hurt!" his wife said. "But what about the pickle slicer?" "They fired her, too," he replied.

Spitting coffee again..

Do you mean his....what not...

  • Author

Sonic walked in to the gym and saw a bunch of ladies working out..he ask the guy running the gym...

Sir...what machine should I use to impress the ladies ?

He smiles and says...Try the ATM in the lobby....

How many sticks does it take to wash the dishes?

 

 

None, that's chicks work.

Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

 

To get to the other tide

Burrito set a new personal record in 100 yard dash.....time was Tuesday

Boo opened an amusement park based on erotic.

Eroticaland since Busch Gardens was taken

 

Stay away from splash mountain

Queen wants her fence fixed and Smarti has to run the job.

Action bids 800. 400 supplies and 300 labor. 100 for himself

Rez bids 700. 400 supplies and 250 labor. 50 for himself

Doorbell whispers to Smarti. 2700.

Smarti says 2700? How's that

 

Doorbell says 1000 for me 1000 for you and hire Rez

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