Monotony...

[Karen]

I'm tired of thinking about smoking and not smoking. I don''t want this to be the main focus of my every day existence. I just want to feel or think "normal". Whatever that may be.

Does anyone understand what I'm trying to convey here?

[MarylandQuitter]

It's a double edged sword because it's what we signed up for when we made the choice to smoke and consequently became nicotine addicts.  At first you think about it all the time but as time goes on, as it always does, your new normal will be not smoking.  However, you'll still be a nicotine addict.  Me?  I never want to forget that I was a smoker because I fear the day I become complacent is the day I smoke again.

 

You have to remember that our lives revolved around smoking - our smoking did not revolve around our lives.  It's going to take some time but as with most things, time heals what has hurt us and smoking is no different.  I know exactly what you mean and also know that smoking and not smoking will not always be foremost on your mind.  :)

[Morgan]

I agree with MQ - 

 

For me my longest quit was a year and a half. Backstory: I had only been a smoker for 3 years or so, my husband decided to quit and i didn't want to feel like the "jerk" so I quit too. Pretty much without question. - It was a bit hard but overall it wasn't that bad. I think it was just the mindset i had about the whole thing at the time. Plus my hubby did so well and I'm competitive and such, if he didn't give in - i wasn't going to either. SOO 1.5 years down the road - i hardly ever think of smoking... I am sure I've kicked this thing and would never go back - because in the end being a non-smoker is way less stressful. Plus I was quickly becoming a solid, avid, runner. 

 

BUT one day on a whim I thought, today I will have just ONE cigarette - surely ill never get hooked again! It has been a year and a half after all! So I went a got some without a second thought. 

 

I was hooked again within a few weeks.  :angry:

 

In general, I agree with MQ's statement of "I never want to forget that I was a smoker because I fear the day I become complacent is the day I smoke again." Because it is completely true!

 

Just pledge to NOPE forever - in the coming months you'll stop thinking about smoking hardly at all, except for when you want to, for reasons like coming to this board - but the craving will be nearly gone. When you do think about it always think about it with a side of "nope" and protect that quit! 

 

just keep plugging along!

[Morgan]

in conclusion - I do completely understand what you mean at this exact time! :) I'm doing the same thing. But know it gets better with time if you keep your mind in the right place.

[Karen]

I don't want to forget I smoked.....EVER! I don't even think something that was such a big part of my life for so many years is possible to forget.

And another thing that's bugging me is I'm gaining weight. If I'm hardly eating how in the heck am I gaining weight?! I guess I just feel like

complaining today! Sorry about that. :(

[Nancy]

I don't want to forget I smoked.....EVER! I don't even think something that was such a big part of my life for so many years is possible to forget.

And another thing that's bugging me is I'm gaining weight. If I'm hardly eating how in the heck am I gaining weight?! I guess I just feel like

complaining today! Sorry about that. :(

 

 

I'm tired of thinking about smoking and not smoking. I don''t want this to be the main focus of my every day existence. I just want to feel or think "normal". Whatever that may be.

Does anyone understand what I'm trying to convey here?

I understand, KarenLou.  All the shiny new has worn off your quit, and now it is just keeping it going.  Remember that you planned your whole life around smoking for a long time.  I promise you the time will come when the only time you think about smoking is when you support others, here, and that is about quitting, not smoking.

 

As for the weight, smoking screws up our metabolism, and it takes awhile to get sorted.  Don't worry about that right now, you can deal with it later.  Fat cells are a whole lot easier to get rid of than cancer cells.

 

Please continue to vent ...that is why we are here.  Also, as Bakon always reminds us, make sure you are rewarding yourself as you keep marching...something special just for you.

 

You are doing great, by the way!

[Jenny]

I absolutely hated that I could not have one single waking moment without thinking about smoking---obsessively.  HATED IT.  My mind and soul were so weary of it.  People kept telling me to hold on and that slowly that would subside.  They were right of course. For me, this was the hardest part of the early days in my quit.

 

Complain away all you want.  We all did.  It won't always be that way.  Promise. 

[beacon]

One thing I liked about Alan Carr's book was that it said to go live your life happily now that you quit smoking.  I did not know that.  I thought that one was supposed to be in agony and suffer and miss smoking and go through the hardest thing in my life.  I liked his attitude and I tried to practice it from the start. So, while I did think about smoking and not smoking every day for quite awhile, I also felt true joy to have quit after more than 30 years at a pack a day. The urges and thoughts will fade.  Just remember to always NOPE no matter what.  

[Evelyn]

Uhm I haven't forgotten = I just banished the lies, excuses and addicton b*llsh*t: to replace with positivity and as mant friends here can testify :P from a very insecure ugly duck I grew a secure (bold and tough) swan. Thing is you learn so much, smoking has been weaved in all assets of life, wgich you all have to deprogramm ;)

 

Right now, I've heard I'm getting a neighbor NEXT to me... Last 4 weeks I could breathe freely I really pray it's someone who doesn't smoke, I REALLY do!!
Passive smoking slows the healing process and can get my asthma get worse :(

I'm not a "banish the smokers" person, just do not make me sit in your smoke ;)

Now it's still fresh, litterally fresh smoke can trigger a craving even if you don't want to... Your whole software according to smoke-related subjects, needs to be updated :D that will really take months, easily half a year ;) don't worry the further you;ll come the more proud you get and yes there will be barrieres just STAY BUSY!!!

I've never had a more filled planning for a week then now :) try to pick that up, fill up spaces with fun things... maybe unrealised dreams (no not a carrabean cruise LOL) but like me with guitarlessons... as a smoker you had ONE REAL OCCUIPATTION: get your fix in time, every 10 / 20 minutes... so find out what's in your heart, grow, learn STICK HERE at least a year ;) really recommended truly (guys back me up here) and find FUN things to do, some go crazy like a hamster in a wheel about running :P or excersize.... make your own future, donot let it be defined by smokes :D

[Doreensfree]

I smoked a whopping 52 years...

I didn't even know how to be a adult ,without a cig in hand...

I don't want ever want to forget the slavery...wasted money... Wasted time... risking my health...

I had to learn to do everything smoke free....

I just pushed forward...no matter what my junkie brain was telling me...

The extra pounds came too...but once I had my quit under control...the losing weight came not long after...

We are all different ...and the yeureka moment happens to eack of us different too...

One day at a time...don't over think anything.....

It will happen... I promise...

[Morgan]

One thing I liked about Alan Carr's book was that it said to go live your life happily now that you quit smoking.  I did not know that.  I thought that one was supposed to be in agony and suffer and miss smoking and go through the hardest thing in my life.  I liked his attitude and I tried to practice it from the start. So, while I did think about smoking and not smoking every day for quite awhile, I also felt true joy to have quit after more than 30 years at a pack a day. The urges and thoughts will fade.  Just remember to always NOPE no matter what.  

Yeah this has helped me greatly. I avidly read Easy Way to help keep me in the mindset! Super redundant, but find myself quoting it in my mind often. 

[Nicole Diver]

Yeah this has helped me greatly. I avidly read Easy Way to help keep me in the mindset! Super redundant, but find myself quoting it in my mind often.

 

This book was so important to me. I'd listen to the audible over and over when I felt like I was missing out. I literally lived to smoke. I never thought I'd break free. Never thought I'd get over it. It took some time, but it wasn't the unbearable, insurmountable black depression I was so scared of due to previous attempts.

It was mind over matter this time. (If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.). I did what Alan Carr said, even though I felt silly. Every morning I'd say to myself, 'yippee, I'm a non smoker.' It helped!

 

I can honestly say I am grateful every day not to be chained to the smokes. I have zero desire to smoke now (I used to pray so many times I would wake up and somehow the urges would be gone. Didn't happen that way). It can take time but that is so normal!! Most of us complained A LOT. That's what these boards are for.

 

You are right where you need to be! I'm about 10 lbs heavier still now years later, I'd like to think it's muscle but it probably isn't. That's ok!! Being a super skinny corpse is not an option. But using food as a crutch took a bit longer for me to overcome. One day I realized that particular problem had slowly faded when I was not paying attention. I say this only so you realize it may not be all peaches and cream, but it's all doable and bearable.

It's so helpful to have a community that has been there, that understands exactly where you are. You're doing just great.

[Kendra]

Yep, annoying thought circles....AND

 

YOU ARE NOT A SMOKER.   Truly the thoughts will fade away.... meanwhile....   you got this.    Do your happy dance.  YOU  ARE FREE.