Was up and about last night, suddenly remembering the endless conversations with myself...

 

Id forgot how I would be terribly awake at night , debating whether I would smoke outside or maybe in the kitchen. I forgot how I lay awake and then almost always ended up smoking inside the house, regretting the smell immediately. I forgot how often I thought, you know what, let's finish that bottle of wine now im at it. And ofcourse that meant another two cigarettes. I didn't want ashtray smell the next morning so I used the sink. Then id go back to bed, racing heart, foul stinky breath and smoke smell under the blankets, short of breath, coughing. Oh, so ready for sleep! Which often didn't come anyway.. so... I went out of bed again... *repeat* 

Junkie thinking is popping up like crazy these days. Nothing I can't handle, but pretty annoying nonetheless. Forcing myself to think back at all the things I hated about smoking really helps.

 

What are some of the nuisances you forgot about...?
 

Edited February 7, 20197 yr by MLMR

Emptying ashtrays.  I probably had five ashtrays in the house, one in the garage, and one on the deck.  It seems as if I was always emptying them.  I know I started a fire in the trashcan at least once.  Now I find other things to do.

 

 

The junkie thinking will leave you soon MLMR, come back and tell us about it when it does.

Running out of smokes, stores closed.

Frantically tearing through jackets, bags, purses, drawers, the trash for a smoke.

One night,  after hunting under and behind all the furniture,  I moved the refrigerator.

Look !  A snipe !

A disgusting snipe. Yellow with stains, so poisonous even the stray mouse wouldn't eat it.

I smoked it and felt much better.

Gah.

I smoked a lot of dog ends in my day.

 

Edited February 7, 20197 yr by Sazerac

The whole damn process! And, it was a daily process. Each and every day, 365 days a year.

 

Getting dressed 1st thing each morning and getting outside to have that precious 1st smoke of the day. That 1st smoke was like my anti-nope. It was a confirmation to myself that I was still a happy and compliant nicotine addict.That 1st one started the whole daily process all over again each day.

 

I no longer plan each day's activities around making sure there's a time and place to smoke. I no longer try to limit or avoid life's activities where I can't smoke for a long period of time. There's so many more things that I used to think about that don't even cross my mind any longer. So nice to be in charge of my life again instead of enslaved by an addiction. Of course, we don't see it that way as smokers - true junkie thinking!

Always worried I would run out ....my whole day was planned by cigarettes...asking myself the junkie questions ..

Have I got enough to see me  through until I go out tomorrow...if not ....cutting down to make sure I have ...and spending time craving and willing the time to pass so  I could have my next precious smoke ..

Do I miss that ....Not a chance ...

G’day

Roll ya owns!!!!

Stinking cheap time wasters. 

As the price went up I took up the “rollies” They satisfied the nico beasts requirements at the cost of smelling worse, tasting worse and wasting more of your day. Yes more time spent in making them I and keeping the beast feed that’s all you need!

C

 

Smoking in the rain.

Cleaning wet ashtrays.

Having to pause every movie at least twice so I could go outside and get my fix.

Panicking when discovering I didn't have enough cigs to get me through the next morning. (I live in the country, so a quick trip to the store late at night is out of the question.)

Packing my purse full of gum, perfume, and hand lotion all to try to hide the smell.

Restless legs (nicotine withdrawal exacerbates Restless Legs Syndrome.)

Never fully enjoying a visit with a friend or loved one, bbecause I was always anxious to leave and go smoke.

Coughing. All the time.

 

Sooooooo many nuisances!

5 hours ago, Cbdave said:

G’day

Roll ya owns!!!!

Stinking cheap time wasters. 

As the price went up I took up the “rollies” They satisfied the nico beasts requirements at the cost of smelling worse, tasting worse and wasting more of your day. Yes more time spent in making them I and keeping the beast feed that’s all you need!

C

 

You are exactly right Dave. I work with a guy that does this and the smell is 100X worse.

Since ive been sick with a chest cold it reminded me of the daily phlegmy cough that grossed my husband out. Or laughing and gurgling, gross! 

48 minutes ago, jillar said:

Since ive been sick with a chest cold it reminded me of the daily phlegmy cough that grossed my husband out. Or laughing and gurgling, gross! 

 

Gday

Lifes gotta be good when your not coughing up fur balls....

C