DenaliBlues

NOPE

You are doing so great, @Slow progress! I love that you're being real about the cravings and ups and downs, but have taken smoking totally off the table as a response to them. That's the foundation of a really strong quit. @Boo once said, "There are a million things you CAN do in response to a craving, and just one you can't - stick something in your mouth and set it on fire." Good on you for embracing all the other possibilities!

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Welcome to the forum, @Sandi149. I’m sorry you are struggling, but you have come to the right place for support. I, too, lost a 7-year quit once. I also tried to “wean” myself off of smoking. It didn’t work. I had to either smoke or quit smoking. Hovering in between was too excruciating. It’s that way because of how withdrawal works in the nicotine-addicted brain. By continuing to smoke - even “just” one or two a day - you never give your body the opportunity to get to the other side of withdrawal. You’re prolonging it without resolving it. I used NRT (lozenges and patches) and found that it worked for me. Oral or patch NRT is a much less gratifying delivery system than smoking. So it blunted the sharpest edges of my cravings while I made the initial transition to quitting. It helped me get through the first panic of not smoking. After a few weeks, when the NRT no longer reduced my edgy feelings, I knew I needed to break free of nicotine completely. It was hard, but by that time I had built up enough quitting skills to get through it. I know this is really scary. You feel like you might lose your mind. But that is your inner addict being all panicky about not getting its fix. Junkie mind tells us all kinds of lies. Here is the truth: You will not die from withdrawal. You’ll be jittery and upset and off kilter for a while. It will suck. But if you stick with it, it will get easier. Life is so much better on the other side. You can do this!

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You are doing SO GREAT, @Brioski!! You have really pulled through some tough spots and are making it through to the other side. Congrats, and so glad to have you with us!!

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Hi @Brioski. I, too, often hesitate to speak of my quit in terms of absolutes. Not because part of me is secretly planning to start smoking again. But because of the long shadow of lost quits in my past. I still have that failure stuck to my shoe. Also, my identity as a nonsmoker isn’t grown up yet. But despite all my caveats, this quit is the real deal! Like you said, @Slow progress, “…I won’t because I’m not going through this again!” In a colossal irony, my having a really rugged quit - all my misery and the cravings and the messy process of coming to terms with addiction - have sort of saved me from myself. If quitting were easier for me, I might not perceive the cost of relapse to be so daunting. But because quitting is terribly tough, I’ll be damned if I am going to throw all that hard work away. My freedom is hard earned, and I’m gonna guard it like a momma bear! And until I have a more comfortable identity as a nonsmoker, I’ll wholly embrace my identity as a QUITTER. A subtle difference, perhaps. But a distinction that helps me simplify all the weird head games that addict-mind wants to play. NOPE!!

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Nice to meet you @LeapOfFaith! I’ve certainly been where you are - I imagine most of us have been. The pattern you are describing is classic addict behavior. I, too, deluded myself for years that I could regulate or moderate my smoking. Hogwash. Probably the first thing to do is get brutally honest about being an addict, and to connect with your WHY. What’s not working for you any more about smoking? How has it imprisoned you, or harmed you or others? Once that’s said aloud or put in writing, then you can find your HOW. Lots of approaches work, different strokes for different folks. I personally did the NRT route, combined with an occasion (dental procedure) that made it impossible to smoke one morning. There are lots of ways to get started. This is a great place to record your ideas and get feedback and support. We’re here for you when you take the plunge!

Happy belated mothers day. Raising me was no walk in the park, but you loved me and launched me and I'm grateful. Memory eternal, Mom.

Many congrats on your freedom!

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Attaway to give smoking the heave-ho, @Slow progress! It's good to literally and symbolically evict the ashes and stink. And good for you for focusing on the plusses: the easier breathing, the money saved, etc. There will definitely be cravings and periods of questioning... in my first months I spent a lot of time vacillating between positivity and despair. Things leveled out for me a bit more after I completed my step down from NRT. But grim determination (and a lot of pushups, cussing and house projects - LOL) got me through. Knowledge is power, and the support from folks here on the Train is priceless. You CAN kick this addiction!

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NOPE, no way!

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5.

Hurrah for @Katgirl! John is a lucky fellow… and we’re lucky, too, to have you on the Train. Congrats!!