TravellingSunny

Alright. Almost a month. Celebrate the little things. But, I smoked last night. Gonna start over, but I don't have the right frame of mind just yet. Gonna take a day or two to get on this train again. Disappointed, but I'm not quitting on quitting. Just... ugh!

Not today! NOPE!

NOPE!

Nope. Too busy to smoke.today.

Not smoking today. NOPE.

@jillar "Dirty smoker" is the name I give anyone who smokes cigarettes now that I don't. They smell bad, turn your teeth and fingers yellow, and in general make an ungodly mess what with the ashes and the yellow smoke stains and the butts. It's childish and immature to call people names, but I do so tongue-in-cheek and with a smile on my face. I would never call a stranger a dirty smoker to their face. Only folks that I'm close with who know I'm just kidding.

@Sazerac Thank you for bumping this.

Honey, that quit is looking GOOD on you!!

Totally agree. I don't miss that little chest-clearing cough that signaled to everyone in the meeting room who the smokers were. It also makes me sad when I hear this cough out of my loved ones who still smoke. I wanna just grab them by the ears and shake them and scream that they should stop - they CAN stop. But, just like me, nothing will make them want to quit unless THEY want to.

I must be a terrible person, but that made me giggle.

Congratulations! One BIG milestone!!

Wonderful! Congratulations!!

This is one of my FAVORITE reasons for quitting - getting back all of that extra time! Glad you are taking care of yourself!

Finally. It's finally happening. I'm beginning to feel like a non-smoker again. I find myself thinking about it less and less; mostly just the occasional "vague thought." (Description of vague internal thought: 'Hmmmm, am I supposed to be doing something now? Oh, yeah. I'd normally smoke a cigarette. Is this a craving? Nah. I don't want one - that's just a habit. What am I going to do instead? Ooooh! SQUIRREL!) So, I'm starting to feel like my old self again. YAY! For the last few days, though, I've been super-cranky in the evenings after work. What's awful is that I'm irritable towards my husband. It's not his fault at all, but the weather is turning and after being in an office all day, I enjoy spending my evenings sitting on back patio, having a glass of wine, reading a book while the sun is setting. That's my unwind time. It's also the "smoking" area since we don't allow smoking in the house. The problem isn't that my husband is a dirty smoker. The problem is that he is being so CONSIDERATE of my quit, that it's actually causing me a problem. Picture this: I've just spent 10 hours commuting and working, with only the occasional vague thought of smoking. As long as I don't think about it - or, as long as I don't DWELL on the quit - I'm in great shape. But then, just when I get comfy for the evening, here he comes pulling out his pack of cigarettes and specifically showing them to me and asking me if it's gonna be a trigger for me. Seems perfectly reasonable and considerate to anybody else, but to the person that is trying to NOT think about smoking, it's just - UGH! His smoking is not a trigger for me; I honestly would've maybe just looked at him, had a vague thought, and then moved on. But, instead, I'm sitting there not even thinking about smoking, and then he asks me a question like that and BAM I want a cigarette. And, it makes me cranky. And the addict in me wants to blame him unnecessarily. But, I finally told him (well, fussed at him, really) how irritating I found his consideration and WHY it was causing me a problem. He put his unlit cigarette back in his pack, told me he understood, and that he wasn't going to smoke that minute, but from now on, he'll just do what he normally does instead of making a production of it. And, to be honest, I'm not sure if he smoked again after that. I'm certain that he did, but I either didn't notice or didn't pay any attention. Is there a point to this story? Is there a moral to be learned? I dunno. But, I guess the important thing, what I'm grateful for most today, is that I have a support system - even if he is a dirty smoker. And I'm taking full advantage of it by being open and honest about how I'm feeling - not just to my support system, but also to myself. I know I'm just being sensitive, so I'll give him a pass. And he knows I'm being sensitive, so he's giving me a pass too.

NOPE

This is crazy. I imagine they are pretty effective! I wouldn't want to look at this picture all day... but, knowing me, I'd've probably just bought a cigarette case so that I could ignore it. That's addiction for you, huh?

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I was searching for an image to think of when the nicotine demon tries to mess with me. I found a plethora of images that I shall endeavor to print and pin up in all of my usual places. But, this particular advertisement jumped right out at me. I don't know what the subtext in the ad says, but the image was effective.

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@rustycolts I've been thinking about you these past few days, Rusty. Hope you are doing well!

Beautiful picture, and beautiful story. I love when fate steps in and gives us opportunities to re-think our impulses! What part of CA was this picture taken in? My son lives in San Diego and my father's family lives at the other end of the state in Redding. But, I don't recognize this sight at all.

It feels like a daily grind because it IS a daily grind - at least in the beginning. I remember the last time I quit, it stopped being a constant battle sometime around 3 or 4 months. I stopped thinking about it entirely by the time I was around a year or a year and a half. You are doing AMAZING and I'm so happy for you. Looking forward to being where you're at again myself.

NOPE NOPE NOPE

Awwww. That's the perfect song for today! Thank you, Jo!

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