Still winning

Currently singing we are the champions by Queen in my head! Go Sarah, awesome! x

oh I dunno but that sounds rubbish :( Did you smoke (or anyone) in the house as maybe it's 3rd hand smoke from something you can attack with febreeze? x

I see no issue! I mean I do feel bad that my vice is sparkly heels that I struggle to walk in whereas you are better with healthy shoes...shoes are all good. xx

nope.

It's ok Soozie, everyone goes through things don't they. I think I just needed to write it down, accept it for how awful it sounds and then try and move forwards with some empathy and dignity. x

Really pleased for you! xx

I want to be all light and airy and supportive on this board. But I don't have that in me right now. Right now real life is not playing ball, or maybe I really am nuts and causing drama in my own life. I can't face anymore arguing, even if I say I don't want to talk, I can't seem to shut my mother up at the moment. She is sniping and shouting and carrying on like quite frankly a child...although that's insulting to kids, cause my kids behave better! Her non quit is doing my frikkin head in, I'd almost rather she just smoked and shut up. Mind you she wasn't normal when she did that either, but better than this. I just feel so tired with it all. And of course i lump the not smoking in there, or maybe it's cause of the not smoking. Whiny whiny, this isn't good. Today though, this is what I have. I will trudge again, I will trudge because I have people who tell me I will be ok, I can't see it today but I am assured this is normal (not my family lol, the feeling) and I will keep trudging. I will read, I meditate like Bug, not helping today. I see Julie has family drama going on and is fighting at times too, I can empathise. Isee people relapsing and thinking others are judging, I always feel judged, i can empathise. I think I just feel bloody sorry for myself and that's shocking. Bandito is breaking through bless him, who knew I would let anyone call me a dosey tart and then nod and agree. So yes, I need to remember there are smiles. It's a phase. Phases I can do. Divorce was a nasty phase, done that. Cervical cancer was a nasty phase done that. Carrying my kids and trying not to kick the bucket periodically was a phase and I did that twice. Just a phase. It was bad before at times, it got brighter again. This too will pass right. But ok, just for today, i will allow the mood. Feel what I need to feel so I can move on. Keep trudging, one step at a time, this foot, that foot..

oh no, lol, sorry! What about a baby wipe, they get most stuff off of skin?

Massive congrats Aine, 2 months is fabulous. Spend your money on ballet classes if you so desire :)

Have you tried peppermint or chamomile tea? Can buy teabags. I find it helps.

You have my number Laura, you have the board. No one is let down, you just learnt a lesson...too early to drink. Do not give up giving up. This battle you had and the feelings you have...that's because you dont want to smoke anymore. So don't smoke honey, come back and let us help you. I understand you believe we are let down, we are not. I understand you feel silly, you are not, we face down an addiction and we really want to help you too. There is no shame to be had here, nothing to hide from, hell I was quitting for a year before I got this quit on - we get it, let us help you, pretty please. xx

Found moving physically was the easiest way to drop craves. x

nice job!!

3 months, your first quarter!! So proud, quite gushy, massive congrats, know you're a bit of a bloke so ya know "fist bump" an all But STU.... 3 months!!! Whoda thunk it ey, we looked life lifers and we are not :) You are bloody marvellous, don't ever change, don't ever smoke and be wonderful!! Love love love the only man who has ever called me dopey tart and lived if I'm honest, more than that made me think and go yeah...I am a dopey tart, lets not do that haha. And happy birthday. Big up the man in a skirt!! xx

Sarah, bugger I was asleep!! Where are you? How are you?? We all do that crave, we all do that sob, you are ok and you don't need to smoke because of it. Damn addiction can't have you, you will be free - you are already marching to that freedom!! This party sounds like a nightmare!! Can you skip it?? You got this covered chick, it's just emotions, we are women, we can ride out the emotions and they pass - this too will pass!! Remember that when it feels intense, it's just a moment in time, it goes away!! Why now? Because it's that time, we are addicts for nicotine honey - we are recovering. That emotion is you facing down a trigger that is yours and going NOPE, because I choose not too. Massive hugs, and I sayagain, i it hasn't already passed it really will. xx

lol Sue, it was mymiddle of the night too haha. Yes Julie, of all the comments I went back and re-read Simba's stuck in my mind too. When I work it out logically (I'm a virgo, I love logic and lists lol) then yes, the time is very limited. I then proceeded to tell two other people in my life about the comment, one my chris who has given up and the other my cousin who is thinking of quitting and messaged me this morning. Some things you take with you on the journey :) That will stickwith me and so will other comments made, thus my gratitude, it's all more ammunition if I go silly like that again. PS I sooo want a superman (woman?!) t shirt now, like really really want one!!

so I'm reading this and wondering what? And then I read your answer and think WHAT? No no no, there will be no romancing for my favourite green lady. Life can be a bit bloody much at times, post a rant, message me a rant if you like. But no romancing the ciggys my lovely, it would not be lovely. You would be pis*ed at yourself and cough a lot. Your babies would smell it on you again. We will march on, some days we will trudge with a face like a slapped ... well ya know, I have your back too. And thanks for your message to me earlier on my post. xx

Yes to spring. Yes to your message. Enjoy your walks with your friend and your running outside. x

Last night I had a very surreal experience, a crave that apparently tried to convince me to smoke whilst using my own voice and emotions to enable it. I understand the meaning of what an addict is from that moment, the moment of clarity in an otherwise confused and emotional scene. In honesty it was a very raw and gut wrenching moment of a crave. Not in this quit to date have I faced that, I'm pleased I had some time under my belt and the knowledge from here and other sources to fight with. I did battle and a few good people went back to back into that battle with me. I am lucky there are good people who could talk me down and off the ledge. I am lucky there are people who have contacted me privately and posted to check I am ok. I have spent all day shaky and on edge wondering if maybe it would come for me again, like that, where suddenly my beautiful quit makes no sense and all I have is tears and snot and some good people reminding me who I am and what my sane mind would say. So I am still and will always be a non smoker. ALL of the "moments" I have gone through convince me I do not want to quit again if nothing else. Last night was gut wrenching awful...for 10, maybe 20 minutes....smoking and the related illnesses are lifelong, life ending... I can do this. I want to say this in case anyone else faces that nasty crave, post and let me pay it forward, we are all here cause we want to help aren't we. That re-assures me, that I feel safe to just be me and to be real. I firmly believe you guys save my life over and over again and I am so very greatful (and for this moment a little gushy about it but only cause last night scared me witless for a short time). You are good people. Thank you. x

I took my first cig age 9. By 13 I was smoking regularly at home in my bedroom after school, I stole my mums. I am horrified reading about qa 2 year old, good grief, that's child abuse!!

C'mon trish. Move away from te cigarettes, you will be so pis*ed at yourself if you carry on! We did excuses, we are doing anger, let's move this train along chick, we have your back, don't be afraid. Post, scream, vent. This will NOT hurt you, smoking will. You know this my lovely. Stop over-thinking, that brain of yours is going too far ahead. Start with this moment and work you way up to what's left of today. Then tomorrow when you wake, start with this moment .... You can do this!! You wanna know why? Because we have SEEN others have done this. It's scary and occasionally comes with a touchof brutality on our emotions, but that is temporary. Please please let me help. Please don't smoke anymore because you are worth more than this. I want more for you!! xx

hey Laura, savvy to not get drunk i think. maybe do the social thing and leave as soon as reasonable :) That said you may be surprised how many non smokers are in your group, i also think telling people is a good idea. Gives yourfriends a chance to look after you. Pm'd my number too, just in cases. Above all try and still enjoy your night, life's worth living :) x

I can't believe how lovely you all are and I genuinely thank you for sharing your stories to help too. Really a heartfelt thank you. x

never give up either, didn't read that bit!! Oh no you dont!! This journey shows us we're addicts, we are what we are and sometimes the fight is tough. But others have proved it can be done. I'm also not at all judgemental as it takes as many attempts as it takes for it to stick. Get angry, get over it then get some plans in place so you dont make the same mistake. No more buying cigs for people either, that's a bad trigger for most people never mind us with fresher quits. xx

Aww trish, I wish you had of posted so I could return how helpful you were to me honey :( For what it's worth I can hear how upset youare, I'm gonna leave the tough love and offer a ((hug))! It's done, dust down and stand up and be counted mrs! xx