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Just a quick note to let you know that my mother got through her surgery without any problems. Naturally, she will need close observation and aggressive pain management for the first 72 hours, but so far so good. Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. I'll write more later. PS-- I'm not smoking and not even jonesing about smoking. Hooray!

Hahahahaha soooooo ive made it to 7 days! Cant believe it! So bloody proud!

I hold on to my quit being a fantastic thing. It instills strength, pride, worth to me. I love how I feel, this freedom. Even the occasional time it feels "tricky" I know I'm ok, weirdly I "trust me" nowadays. When life feels a bit hard, I often wonder is it due to the quit - the truth is honestly no and it hasn't been for some time. Non smokers have bad times and rarely anymore is it about not smoking. The "problem" seems to be people still think I am the person I was. The smoker, who accepted more and just walked away to "calm and smoke". I am not that woman anymore. Early quit I'd shout and scream, then cry - really, lot's of crying! Now I look in distain at the people who think I am someone who can be pushed around. If that sounds harsh then so be it. Nothing about me is harsh if you are a good person, I am kind and want to help - but if you bring a fight to my door, I can battle. I like the bottom line of where quitting smoking has taken me. So far removed from a family holiday or a child pushing me. It's taken me to a place of self belief and inner strength. Literally, anything is possible if you just believe in it, and yourself. It's ok to be happy, even if others don't agree with you and your choices, still ok! I wish I could share this feeling with others and them actually understand it. Both smokers wondering is it "too hard" to quit - HELL NO! Best thing you could ever do for yourself and your sense of self worth and imbeciles who think that people pleaser I was may still exist. NOPE, long gone and fare thee well to her! Today I stand in my own strength and add to my children a quit in the "look what I did" camp :)

I did the calendar wrong, lol! Way to go Sam!!!!!!!!!!!! Make suer to treat yourself this weekend!

I am happy to report that so far things are going better here than I expected. In the first place, I'm feeling pretty calm about my mother's condition. She's resting comfortably in the hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon. The doctors and nurses are being good about controlling her pain (i.e., they are listening to me and accepting my advice :) ) I don't have to get aggravated about her care. What happens after the surgery remains to be seen. My sister and I have been able to peacefully discuss Mom's care and condition and other than that we stay out of each other's way. She is voluntarily smoking outside and not leaving her cigarettes laying around so that's a help to me. So thus far things are going better than I expected. The next 2 or 3 days will be critical, however. Please keep praying that things work out for the best for my mother (whatever that means).

I thought you were 7 day today but calender says tomoz! Go Sam!!

I keep a journal and I was just browsing for day 1 thoughts and feelings as someone asked for ideas and found the poem/motivational writing I made myself to read by candlelight looking for additional strength, I sat and wrote it the first evening. I will never forget how I felt, a mixture of emotions both sad for what I thought I was giving up and how would I cope and utter exhileration that I might actually make it. Manic, Panic, I can't breath! Raging, pacing, Inside I seeth. Smiling, laughing, Can't quite believe! Nice People, Steep hill, I can achieve!! This time, this place, is where I see, I could always do this, I can be free. I'm scared and happy, kill or cure, I'll give it all to come out pure. Live for today, not tomorrow Only forwards, no failure sorrow. I can, I will, I shout out loud I own my body, I will be proud! It was fun to find it and apparently I jumped from foot to foot literally shouting nope - I wonder why the neighbours look at me strangely nowadays haha. :)

She did ask marti so i told her how I felt lol

My kids finally came home today after 3 weeks with their mom and they have no idea Daddy doesn't smoke anymore. I want to see how ling it takes before they notice because I have all the time in the world. So things are almost back to normal with the exception that the normal no longer includes me smoking!!. I will just keep taking it hour by hour and day by day... reading the oath pledging one more day of NOPE each day and staying focused. The will figure it out eventually on their own! Thanks again to all for the support and the acceptance a little over a week ago when I joined before my quit date. Very grateful and still Humbled!