Paddy wants a job, but the foreman wont hire him until he passes a little maths test.

Here is your first question, the foreman says. Without using numbers, represent the number nine.

Without numbers? Paddy says. Thats easy. And he proceeds to draw three trees.

Whats this? the boss asks.

Have you no brain? Tree plus tree plus tree makes nine, says Paddy.

Fair enough, says the boss. Heres your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.

Paddy stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree and hands it back.

The boss scratches his head and says, How on earth do you get that to represent 99?

Each of them trees is dirty now. So, its dirty tree plus dirty tree plus dirty tree. That makes 99.

All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.

Paddy stares into space again; he then picks up the picture and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and hands it back.

The boss looks at Paddys picture. You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!

Paddy leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, a little dog came along and pooped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, plus dirty tree and a turd, plus dirty tree and a turd, which makes 100!

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet.

We didn't know what to call her so we named her Pussycat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.' He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'. They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's ***** doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she smells like a rose! Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant! God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door. The silence was deafening.

25 minutes ago, Reciprocity said:

So true! My mom had her fridge for over 50 years until she needed a new one.  I have an 8 year old fancy French door fridge, the ice maker broke 3 times, thankfully it was under warranty and it broke again last week so I'm not going to even pay to replace the ice maker. We are buying a new one that will probably break in 8 years or sooner.😬 That's what it is with these appliances today unfortunately, it's called Planned Obsolensence.  

11 hours ago, Reciprocity said:

Tried clicking the laughing emoji for this but for some reason my keyboard doesn't find it funny 😁

On 2/13/2026 at 2:11 PM, Reciprocity said:

That's harvest gold there, buddy.  early 70's.  80's saw a transition from forest green to almond and yes...they are still running we are just to old to catch them now.