March 7, 20179 yr A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
March 7, 20179 yr After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
March 15, 20179 yr Author A little girl and boy were sitting in the bath together... She says...Can I touch it ????? He replied ...NO...you already have snapped yours off....
March 15, 20179 yr Author A little boy was in the bath with his mum and asked..what is that hairy thing ... Mum says..oh that's my sponge honey... Little boy says...oh yes the babysitter has one of those ,I've seen her washing dads face with it...
April 1, 20179 yr Author I think alot of the conflicts, that happened in the wild west, could have been avoided... If the architect,S ,back then ,just made the town's big enough for everyone...
April 28, 20179 yr Our mail room clerk got me good the other day. She was pushing the mail cart and I was following behind her. As she entered the IT open office area she announced to all-n-sundry, "Gangway for the mail...and Sirius*." double entendre'd and nuked from orbit. :P
June 3, 20179 yr Mickey Mouse is in divorce court. The judge says: your stated reason for divorce from Minnie is that she is extremely silly? Mickey replies: That's not what I said. I said she's f**king Goofy!
June 20, 20179 yr An aspiring country music singer takes to the stage at an open mic night. He says: This first one, I wrote myself. It's called: "I Want To Be On You Like A Fly On Horseshit", a, 2, 3, 4... The crowd gasps a little bit, but they love the song. He starts his second song: This another one I wrote, I call it "My Love Oozes Like A Puss Filled Sore", a, 2, 3, 4... Once the crowd get's past the title, they love the song. This is a love gone wrong song here, he says; wrote it myself. It's called "Whackin' It (My Wife Is Drier Than A Popcorn Fart)", a, 2, 3, 4... The crowd goes wild. The country singer takes a quick bathroom break and in all the excitement, forgets a few things. He runs back out on stage to greet his adoring fans. A drunk guy in the front row yells out: hey buddy, do you know your pants are unzipped and your pecker's hanging out? The country singer replies: know it? I wrote it!
July 17, 20179 yr A man and woman are on an elevator together... The man asks: can I smell your cooter? The woman replies: NO! So the man says: oh, it must be your feet then.
July 25, 20179 yr Author Q...Define a transvestite.... A..A guy who likes to Eat,Drink and be Mary !!!!!
July 25, 20179 yr Author A Husband and his wife were sat at the table having dinner.. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top... ` och !!! I look like a pig !!!! The man nods !!!...yes ..and you dropped tomato sauce on your top...
September 17, 20178 yr Author I hope they wash thier hands before serving food... Good place for little stewpot...
September 18, 20178 yr I hope they wash thier hands before serving food... Good place for little stewpot... A man walks into a diner and reads the sign. Hamburgers: $3.00 Cheeseburgers: $3.50 Handjobs: $10.00 He asked the lady behind the counter: are you the one that gives the handjobs? She smiled and said: yes I am. So he says: well...wash your damn hands and fix me a cheeseburger!
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